


I Don't Want To Keep A Secret

by DOA



Category: Spider-Man (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers - Freeform, Canon Until Episode 14, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Green Goblin - Freeform, I'm Keeping This Vague, M/M, Pining, Trans Peter Parker, Triggers Will Be Before Each Chapter, kind of, three year time skip
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-03-11 09:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 76,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13521675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DOA/pseuds/DOA
Summary: As their senior year begins, Peter Parker and Harry Osborn have a lot to figure out on their own.Peter has his hands full with his Aunt dating again, college, potential romance, and being superhero with a secret identity that may be more trouble than it's worth. Then Harry, with a troubling father, an uncertain future, possibly unrequited love, a family secret, and an ugly green monster that he has no control over.But what happens if their separate problems are more related than they think?





	1. Shovel Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I started this fanfic before the Doc Ock Arc and so it will be canon mostly prior to that, which means no Spider-Gwen or Kid Arachnid. Sorry about that! Just to clarify as well, this story starts during their senior year, so about 3 years after canon. 
> 
> I plan on updating weekly so that I can spread out what I already have written. It's going to be decently long. Feel free to comment any questions and concerns! Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Also, I don't know whether to list this as a trigger, but I'm not very well educated on FTM health, so I'm not sure if everything I put in here is correct. More notes on that at the end and any tips would be appreciated!

** _Peter's POV_ **

 

 

“We’re so late.” I complain as Miles swings next to me, as if he isn’t also late. But there’s a difference, because Anya knows he’s Spider-Man. No one knows I am.

“She’s gonna kill us.” He points out and I nod.

“The one day she asks us to come in early, we’re even later than normal.” I groan and he sighs.

“I hope it’s not too important.” He says as we swing to the school, fifteen minutes late to class. We go in, change, and sneak to the back of the class unnoticed and I let out a sigh.

“One bullet dodged.” I slump onto my desk, not even bothering with a notebook and he rests his head against his hand.

“Yeah, but there’s still another, and it’s worse than a heat-seeking dart.” He responds and I look up at the boy from where I’m laying my head.

“What do you think this is all about, anyways?” I ask and the chocolate-eyed boy raises a thick eyebrow.

“At this point, it could be what she ate for dinner last night and I’d still be scared. She’s great, but her temper is terrifying.” He whispers and I nod.

“Agreed.” I respond and his phone goes off loudly. He fumbles with it, receiving multiple glares from the teacher and students alike as he silences it. He quietly opens it and swallows, showing me a group chat with he, Anya, Gwen, Harry, and I.

 

 **Anya** \- U boys r dead. (Not Harry)

 **Harry** \- Thank god.

 

I look up at Miles and we both gulp.

 

 **Miles** \- had wrk dis morning.

 

I slap his arm, making him swear at me. “What the hell was that for?” He whisper-shouts and I glare at him.

“If I’m going down, you go down too.” I tell him and pull out my phone, typing alongside him.

 

 **Peter** \- Lies. He ovrslept just lik I did.

 

His eyes narrow at me as I smirk and lock my phone. 

“Ha.”

“I hate you.” He groans and the bell rings for the end of class. I look down at my phone to see it light up again.

 

 **Anya** \- Just b @ lab after class. Idiots.

 

I sigh in relief as I look up at Miles, who does the same. He walks with me down the hall when I groan, remembering where I’m going.

“English?”

“Yes.” I respond and he chuckles.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.” He assures me and I fix him an even look.

“I have a ‘c’ in the class.” I tell him and his eyes widen.

“Dear god.” He swears and I chuckle.

“Wish me luck.” I respond with a sigh. Sure, it’s only the third week back from this summer, but I’m already worried about this class. I mean, I’ve never gotten anything under an ‘a’. I take great care to make sure I get the highest mark I can, even in my more advanced placement classes. But it seems poetry is my downfall. I pull out my paper and turn it in as I walk in, looking up at Professor Newman as she gives me an even look.

“Good morning, Mr. Parker.” She speaks awfully formal for someone who has a doctorate in such an expressionate field.

“Good morning.” I answer and go to my seat to sit down. The class is mostly seniors, all trying to fulfill their credits, but the only person I know well in the class is Gwen. I sit behind her and she turns to me, pushing her blonde hair behind her ear.

Gwen is probably one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever met. There’s just no debating about that. It’s just something in the way she holds herself in a confident manner, but never cocky. Sure, Anya is beautiful too, but frankly I’m in a constant state of trying to make sure she’s not mad at me, so it kind of distracts from it.

“You look like you’ve seen death.” She jokes as I flop into my seat. On top of all of this drama, patrol this morning with Miles consisted of a run in with the Black Cat, and that just never ends well.

“Death and I are close acquaintances.” I respond just as the professor puts my analysis paper from last week on my desk with a large ‘c’ scribbled on the top of it. Gwen whistles and I sigh as the professor walks away.

“I just don’t get this.” I whisper to her and she chuckles.

“Well, lucky for you, we start writing soon, and that a lot harder to fail at.” She quips and I frown.

“Thank you for your moral support.” I grumble and she ruffles my hair.

“Always, babe.” She smirks and turns back to the front. There’s an ongoing joke in our friend group that the school thinks Gwen and I are dating. Over the last few years, we’ve become pretty good friends, and while there are still something that she doesn’t know about me, she’s one of the few people I’m comfortable enough around to even bring home to Aunt May without having to worry about impending danger.

The rest of the class goes by quickly and we’re assigned our last analysis paper before we go into the composition unit. I wave goodbye to Gwen before going to my next class, and most of the day goes like this. Not too eventful, but just enough that I’m staying awake at my desk. Well, the classes mixed with the anticipation on the news Anya needs to tell us.

Miles and I meet up to go into together because we’re stronger as a team.

_At least against Anya._

We walk in, ready to accept the consequences, and I speak up first.

“I’m so sorry we didn’t make it this morning.” I apologize walking in to see Anya, Gwen, and Harry.

Wait, Harry?

“What’s he doing here?” Miles asks and Anya smirks.

“I knew you two would be too late, so I told him to come after school so I could tell you all at the same time.” She explains. Once everyone at Horizon got over the sting of Harry leaving, he started frequenting our lab, normally working on random stuff with me or doing homework. Never snooping, though. In fact, the first year he was here to visit, Anya would confiscate his phone at the door. But now, he’s just another guy around here, despite the tensions from those not close to him. Besides, Gwen has always had a soft spot for him, so if it weren’t for him coming to see me at first, I think she would’ve come to invite him just because.

Though, it’s not like he’s here every day. Just days when there’s something important going on or, unbeknownst to the others, he and his dad got in a fight and he needs to be as far away from him as possible. Those days he’s normally quiet and does his homework, only smiling and answering when spoken to.

Luckily today isn’t one of those days as he looks up at Miles with a hand over his chest.

“That one hurt, buddy.” He quips and Miles chuckles before turning to Anya.

“Wait, you planned for us missing?” He points out and she just rolls her amber eyes.

“Do you blame her?” Gwen asks and I chuckle.

“Not really.” I respond and take a seat next to Harry, putting my bag up on my lab bench. “So, the news?” I ask and she pushes her brown hair out of her face.

“I got contacted by MIT and they want to give me a full scholarship.” She tells us and we all stand in surprise, Miles goes up and hugging her, lifting her up the ground.

“That’s amazing!” Harry exclaims as she pulls away from Miles, pink dusting her olive complexion.

“When did you find out?” I ask and she smiles.

“Last week, but I wanted to take time to consider other options before saying yes.” She tells us and we all end up hugging her at that, the news major for only the first month back from school.

Once we pull away, we all get to work on our own homework, with the occasional question here or there. Mostly, she’s just happy to be decided.

I haven’t even started sending in applications, on the other hand. I mean, it’s only September, but maybe I should get on that. I know Miles has been looking at a few school and more than a few school are looking at Gwen, but I haven’t really put much thought into it.

Harry hasn’t even mentioned college, but I don’t think it’s because it’s not important or he’s nervous. Frankly, until we’ve been accepted somewhere, it’s pretty boring considering all of us know we want to major in some sort of science.

Though, I don’t know if I want to go the traditional route like everyone else. I mean, I have Aunt May to worry about and I can’t really think of leaving her, nor making her pay for college after barely making it while this whole this was going on.

Besides, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I could take up a part time job and go to community college for my first two years. That’s something I’ve yet to tell the others, though. I just have a feeling they’d send in applications for me or something like that and I just couldn’t deal with that.

I pull out my calculus textbook and slump so the back of my chair is leaning against Harry. His dark hair tickles my forehead as he peaks at what I’m doing before chuckling and going to his own work.

We all stay and work for a while before we all split for the night and go home, Harry and I going in the same direction while the rest of them go their respective directions, Gwen splitting while the other two go their own directions.

It’s raining tonight, so Harry has on his coat and gloves and I have my hoodie pulled up over my head. It’s starting to get dark out earlier now, so we walk with the dark grey skies, the street lights acting as out guide. We’re quiet most of the way until he breaks the silence.

“Have you been thinking about where to apply?” He asks and I shrug.

“Not really.” I answer honestly and he raises an eyebrow.

“Not even Stanford.” He questions and I look down. Stanford has been my dream school for as long as I can remember, but the tuition and distance leaves much to be desired.

“We were young when I used to talk about that.” I roll my eyes nonchalantly, making him snort.

“And we’re not exactly old yet.” He reminds me and I glance at him.

“What about you? You wanted to go to MIT, too. Have you sent an application?” I ask and his face turns into a frown.

“I’ve actually been thinking of staying in New York to watch my father.” He explains and I nod in understanding.

Harry’s father isn’t the best man by any means. While I’d never tell Harry, I rather dislike his father. It’s not just for work related reasons, like him wanting me _dead_ , but it’s also just how he treats Harry. The boy is loyal to a fault, not caring that the man is a terrible person to him. But I suppose I do get the sentiment.

Family _is_ family.

Especially family that isn’t doing too well. Harry has been concerned with his father’s health for years. While there might not be anything wrong physically, mentally, he’s all over the place. Harry once walked in on him cackling to himself while working in his lab.

I,  _personally_ , didn’t sleep for a week after hearing that.

We get to the point where we split and he shrugs and smile at me. “You free this weekend?” He asks and I bite my lip as I think about out patrol schedule.

“I should be free Friday and Saturday.” I tell him and he grins.

“Cool, because it’s been while since I kicked your ass at Super Smash Bros.” He tells me and I roll my eyes.

“In your dreams.” I fight him and he chuckles.

“See you Friday, Pete.” He waves to me as he walks into the storm, towards the other way. I run to go find an alley, switching quickly into my costume. Before I leap into action, I pause to take my birth control.

Though really, there’s no point. I started the last row a few days ago, so I’m due to have my period soon. I already let Miles know in advance that I would be taking the rest of the week off after today, and he didn’t ask as long as I work the next week.

To say the least, packing for a spandex suit while you’re bleeding every time you jump isn’t something I want to deal with.

I throw my backpack onto my back, swinging around the city. Patrol is boring on Tuesday nights, but that doesn’t mean it’s not necessary ever since Norman Osborn sent out an army of Vultures. If I didn’t have my work cut out for me then, I do now.

Though, it’s been pretty quiet for a while, which always makes me nervous. I mean, especially with everything Harry has told me, it makes me more nervous.

But I brush that off as I fly around, trying not to be too obvious tonight. If all I have is a calm night, I wouldn’t be opposed.

The night does end up being quiet, only a robbery by the time I’m going home for the night. Though, one woman walks up to me and asks me if I’m hurt and I realize my period has started early. I kindly tell her no and rush home after that.

After crawling in my window, I strip off my suit quickly. I take a quick shower and change into pajamas before going down to see Aunt May, who smiles as me as she puts on a pair of earrings.

Aunt May works as a secretary at a place downtown, but every now and then, she works as a waitress at nights. While my job did help her to not have two regular jobs, the extra money does help. Though, that doesn’t explain why she looks so nice right now.

“Hey you.” She greets me warmly and I raise an eyebrow. She’s wearing a skirt and lipstick, like she only does when she’s going out with the girls she works with. But she’d never do that on a Tuesday.

“Where are you going all dolled up?” I ask and she chuckles.

“You caught me.’ She says and shrugs, looking off nervously. “I have a date tonight.” She tells me and that has me standing up.

“That’s awesome!” I exclaim and she grins.

“Really? You’re alright with it?” She asks and I nod. Uncle Ben has been gone for over three years now and Aunt May has gone through her mourning period. Frankly, the news is nice. I know Uncle Ben and he wouldn’t want her to be a weeping widow for the rest of her days. Besides, it’s nice to know that she could have more people in her life other than me and her work friends.

“Of course, I am.” I tell and she walks up to be and hugs me, relief heavy in her frame. “Do I have to give him the shovel talk?” I ask and her frame shakes as she laughs.

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I turned him down five times before I said yes.” She tells me and I raise an eyebrow as I pull away.

“Why five?” I ask and she chuckles.

“Because most give up after three. But he was persistent enough, so he’s worth a chance. I turned your uncle down nine times.” She tells me and I laugh.

“Is that really necessary?” I ask and she shakes her head.

“No. I knew I liked him after the second. I just felt the need to draw it out. And I knew this guy was sweet after the fourth.” She explains and I shake my head.

“I’m still giving him the shovel talk.” I conclude and she laughs at me.

“Fine, but he’s much taller than you. I don’t know how intimidating you’ll be.” She tells me and I smirk as she turns away from me.

“Don’t worry, I have my ways.”


	2. Lover Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the support on the first chapter! I didn't think it would go as well as it did, so I'm happy you guys liked it!
> 
> This chapter gives you an insight into some parts of Harry, but i want to start this out by saying that he's going to be a very round character. I mention Peter a decent amount in this chapter, but all of Harry's chapter's won't be like that, and vice versa. I just needed to show where he stands right now.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Possible Triggers: Negligence

_**Harry's POV** _

 

I get home and go to the kitchen. It’s almost always my first stop since I normally work in the lab or do homework until after normal dinner hours. My father used to have housekeepers to cook, but he dismissed them recently with no reason. I can’t say I’m opposed to this. It was stupid when I can cook for myself, but I liked the idea of someone being here to watch him when I’m not home.

Not as though he can’t fend for himself. He’s still running his business and being successful, but I just don’t like him being here alone.

It’s almost like living with a ghost. You don’t realize it’s there until it’s haunting you.

I make the quickest dinner I can think of and take some up to his office. I knock on the door and he yells for me to come in. I walk over to him to see the brown-haired man craning his neck down to look at all of his papers. I give him dinner and he waves me off with a curt “thanks”. I take note of the fact that his brown hair is turning more grey. I leave with a “goodnight” called behind me and he grunts in response.

And that’s about all there is in our interactions at home.

It’s nice though. We’re both private people and he keeps talking about how he’s planning “something big”, so I just try my best to stay out of his way. I go to my room and pull out my remaining homework, finishing it as quickly as I can. It’s not long before I find myself bored and scrolling on my phone.

Anya getting into MIT was surprising, to say the least. Well, not really that she got in, per say, but for them to approach her so early is almost unheard of. I frown. Peter wasn't lying when he said it was my dream to go there. Dreams can change, though, I guess. I still don’t know if I want to go to school here or travel, but leaving my father alone makes me worry. He always seems a bit too close to danger for me to not wonder who starts it, even if Spider-Man is always conveniently there too.

 _Still,_ I think as I remember how my father was slumped over his work, _he’s too stuck in his own head to come out much._

My phone rings in my hands and I read the name on it and smile.

“Hey Liz.”

“Hey Lover Boy.” She responds and I roll my eyes. She’s been calling me that ever since middle school and somehow, it’s still fitting.

“Yeah yeah, to what do I owe the pleasure, Ms. President?” I respond as if she doesn’t call me frequently.

“Well, homecoming here is coming up and I’m kind of hating the fact that all the girls here are straight.” She groans and I scowl.

“I thought you were going with Randy.” I remind her and she huffs.

“Nope. He’s got a date with Mary Jane.” She tells me and I frown.

“Well, that sucks.” I respond as though Randy and Mary Jane weren't meant for each other and she chuckles.

“I know! He told me yesterday and now I have to find someone to go with.” She tells me and I sigh, knowing where this is going.

“Are you asking me to your homecoming?” I ask and she chuckles.

“You read me like a book, Lover Boy. Will the bf be okay with it?” She asks and I roll my eyes.

“You know we’re not together.” I tell her and she’s just short of interrupting me when she starts talking on instinct.

“Yet. Not together yet.” She “reminds” me and I hum.

“Anyways, moving on from that, what color dress are you wearing?” I ask and I can all but hear her shit-eating grin.

“Pink.” She tells me and I groan.

“No wonder Randy got a date.” I joke and she gasps.

“Hey! You offered.”

“Not really, but I’m on board still. Though I have no idea where to find a pink bowtie.” I respond and she sighs.

“Besides, if I have to go to the dance with a guy, it might as well be a guy who actually can dance.” She points out and I chuckle.

“I don’t know if that’s really my scene.” I tell her shortly. Liz is the one person who knows more about me than even Peter does. Well, and maybe Gwen. She’s got people skills and academic intelligence, making her twice as dangerous.

“Anyways, fill me in on the exciting life of Harry Osborn.” She asks, sensing that I didn’t want to talk about that and I chuckle, telling her my updates which are working in the lab, classes, and homework. “Riveting.” She responds and I chuckle.

“Indeed.” I say and she sighs.

“Well, I bet if you ever make the moves on Peter, your life would be a lot more interesting.” She jokes and I answer in a deadpan.

“Yes, because losing my best friend is my ideal source of entertainment.” She laughs at the response and I roll my eyes.

“He probably likes you.” She encourages and I shake my head to no one.

“I don’t work on probably’s. I work on fact.” I tell her and she tisks me through the phone.

“Come on, Lover Boy, live a little.” She teases.

“I’ll ask him out when you get a girlfriend.” I tell her and she gasps.

“Really?” She exclaims and I sigh.

“Yeah, why not.” I tell her, knowing that it’s a long shot of her getting a girlfriend soon considering she’s still in the closet to a large majority of the general public.

“Well, it’s about time I tried to actually get me a lady.” She jokes and I chuckle.

“You’re an idiot.”

“You’re a brat, but look, we’re still talking.” She quips and I shake my head. The conversation goes on for a while as I lay down, getting comfortable for the night. We only hang up when both of us are starting to fall asleep, wishing the other goodnight before ending the call.

Maybe she’s right and I should just get the nerve to ask Peter out. I mean, would he really end out friendship over something as stupid as a crush? Assuming he’s thinks it’s just a crush. I hope to god he doesn’t know just how far gone I am.

I close my eyes and shake these thoughts out of my head. That’s something to think about later.

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re what?” I gape at Shammas as he tells me the bad news.

“I know it’s not the best situation, but at least you still have awhile to do the project.” He justifies as if he didn’t just tell me he’s ditching me to work with his girlfriend.

“Shammas, we’ve been working together for three years now. How am I gonna find another lab partner? I thought we would finish this out together.” I ask and he sighs.

“It’s nothing against you, Harry. It’s just that we’re allowed to work with other schools for the Stark Expo this year and Juno really wants to work with me. I’ll even be working at Midtown so you can use the lab for your project.” He tells me and I sigh.

The Stark Expo rules are new as of this year. The projects are supposed to be made in pairs because the Avengers are so big on the whole “teamwork” thing ever since they had a literal war among them.

_Hypocrites._

Regardless, the fact that Shammas would leave just because it’s open to the idea of joint-school partnerships is kind of troubling. Not at the whole dual school thing, but the fact he would just up and leave over his girlfriend.

“Fine.” I scowl, crossing my arms. He frowns.

“Come on, man. Are you seriously mad? Imagine if that girlfriend of yours wanted to work with you. Wouldn’t you jump on the chance?” He asks, referring to Gwen. It’s funny how people always seem to think Gwen is dating someone. Here, people think we’re dating and at Horizon, people think it’s her and Peter.

I never bothered telling Shammas otherwise, though. I mean, Gwen is beautiful and sweet and finds all the gossip comical. She’s just not particularly my type.

Though yet again, my type is a little specific.

I think about Peter again and scowl at how easily my mind falls on him. It’s not like he’s my life, but he’s also like a ghost. He haunts me just as much as my father does, though I mind him a lot less considering his shouts are normally when he’s playing a video game or bickering about science.

“I suppose you’re not wrong.” I answer since I’ve been quiet for just short of an uncomfortable amount of time. He sighs in relief and grabs his backpack.

“You’re the best, Harry.” He responds and hurries with a wave, making me chuckle. He must’ve been on a time crunch. I walk over to my lab bench and open my folder, pulling out blueprints. I’ve been thinking of tons of ideas for the Expo, but I haven’t been able to make the plans complete.

First, there’s a deep space camera. It can make it further than all other objects in space due to the material and structure, but I can’t find a replacement glass that would sustain deep space pressures. Right now, it’s just an idea for a useless, powered box.

The second idea is one for memory suppression. It’s supposed to help bring back memories from the past that have been repressed through PTSD or trauma and put them on a screen, but I’m struggling to find a substance to help neutralize and penetrate the nervous system without causing damage.

There are more and more ideas that come to similar problems; insufficient power sources, structural problems. All fixable problems, but it’s hard when you don’t have anyone to work with, or at least bounce ideas off of. Shammas is a good lab partner, but he really never had too much to contribute to our project other than help with the building itself, and now I don’t even have that.

I sigh as the door opens again and heavy footsteps come in behind me. I’ve never been a fan of my father’s work persona. Especially when he curses under his breath before speaking. I fight back the urge to flinch.

“Your lab partner left too?” He asks and I shrug.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter.” I respond as if I wasn’t just internally bitching about how annoyed I was to be working alone.

“Good. As the future heir to this company, you should be able to win on your own.” He retorts and I turn back to look at him as he stands by the door. Future heir to Oscorps. The words I probably hate most.

All that time ago, when I went to Horizon, it was so I wouldn’t just be Norman Osborn’s son. It was my time to be me and make a name for myself, but it seems like this is just one of those things I can’t escape.

I sort through my sheets quietly, deciding not to mention that I do need a partner. I’ll find one later.

He leaves, the door shutting behind him, and I sigh at the empty room. The lab has been my area of refuge for years now. I’m always the first to come in and the last to leave around here, but it’s nice. I enjoy the silence.

It means people aren’t telling me what to do or who to root for or what to be or _anything_. The term that “no news is good news” works both ways. There is no good news more often than not and getting no news is good news to get.

I look up at my shelves and pull out a vial, frowning at it.

I’ve been working to stabilize the Jackel Serum so it can be used for medical purposes, but it’s a complicated project. The vial is a musty green color and I almost never open it unless it’s to put it in a machine. The stuff scares me far too much.

I get to work on it, mindlessly writing out equations and looking at various chemical agents, but find myself frowning by the end. The serum is easier to modify than neutralize due to its DNA transforming vehicles and that it’s hard to see it become anything but a stronger mutation agent.

I write this in my notes, working quietly.

Even if I do like the quiet, I sometimes wish my father would stay and actually talk to me. With his declining mental health, it’s hard to even see him under his work façade. No kind words, no paternal instinct; just Norman Osborn. Not since Emily Lyman-Osborn died.

I frown at the thought.

It’s tiring. It’s tiring to know that he’s just his work now when he used to be such a great man. It’s like when my mother died, he did too. I almost never see the man he was. Only slightly, but never often. I’m just another worker he’s disappointed in.

I sigh and walk away from my project for now, picking up my backpack and pulling out college pamphlets. Colleges from all over have been approaching me, but it just feels wrong. I didn’t want to talk to Peter about it because I know they’re not looking at me. Hell, I bet none of them even looked at my experiments. They just want the partnership that comes with Norman Osborn’s son’s admission to their school.

I look up at the clock, noting that I’ve been in here for a few hours. It’s going on 5:30 pm when I finally pack up to go, but it’s not like I’m going home. It’s Tuesday, which means I have another class. Not at Os Academy, though.

After all, Norman Osborn’s son is just a scientist.

Harry Osborn is still a person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love rebellious, yet loyal Harry. He's such a complex character. Plus, Pining Harry is my weakness.


	3. Envelope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I died from that story arc so here are some happy friends that DON'T hate each other.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Trigger: mention of dysphoria

_ **Peter's POV** _

 

My last class of the day is physics, which is one of my favorite classes. Something about all of the formulas makes it easy to work with in my head. Plus, I also sit behind Gwen in that class as well, so I always have someone to work with. Though today is the second day of my period and I feel like I’m in _labor_ instead. Gwen keeps shooting me worried looks, but I wave her off. I’m not even paying attention today as I count the minutes. I do have work today, but it’s not too much to do. I just have to help Max clean up a bit before leaving.

The minutes pass slowly as I think about what had happened that day. We started working on the basics of composing a poem in my English class today and it’s almost as bad as comprehension, though I suppose it’s a bit more fun. We get out actual assignment tomorrow, though, and though I’m not looking forward to it, I’m looking forward to a new start.

I walk into the lab and pick up a broom, instantly getting to work. After three years of doing this, it’s become my favorite part of the job. It’s almost like a break for the rest of the world, just me and the lab.

It’s cleaning test tubes and disposing of waste and everything mundane that I’ve come to appreciate. Life can get hectic, but I can always count on Max being a messy worker, so things to clean come by the plenty.

There’s a sticky note on the last test tube I go to clean from Max, telling me to meet him in his office. I raise an eyebrow. _That’s unusual. He normally just talks to me when something comes us._

I shrug and finish the job, deciding whatever it is can’t be too bad if he didn’t come straight to me with it. I put away the last of the glassware and grab my backpack before starting the trek to his office.

“Max, you wanted to see me?” I call as I walk in and he smiles.

“Yes, Peter, please sit down.” He tells me and I sit down on the other side of his desk. He folds his hands on his desk and starts in a disarming voice. “Have you been thinking about where you’d like to go to college?” He asks and I bite my lip in thought.

“A little, but I haven’t sent out any applications. I was thinking about doing community college for a few years, actually.” I tell him and his eyes widen.

“Really?” He asks and I nod.

“It just seems the most reasonable.” I explain and I watch as a look of understanding crosses his face.

“Is this about the cost?” He asks and I don’t see a reason to lie. I nod at him, watching as he holds up three envelopes and I try not to raise an eyebrow in curiosity. “That might not have to be a concern anymore.” He tells me and hands me the letters. One if from Columbia, the other from Harvard, and the last is from Stanford. My eyes widen as I look at my name written above all of the addresses, directed to come to Horizon.

These are all schools I’ve been dreaming of going since I was little; the best of the best. I hadn’t even thought about applying to any of them just because I didn’t think I’d make it, let alone the cost it would take to go there. It almost scares me to have these letters in my hand, as if they’ve decided my fate without my permission. To know that they’ve reviewed and judged me before I was ready.

“Open them.” Max spurs me on and I go to do so, noticing with an internal smirk, despite my trembling, that they’re already open. I look up at Max and he shrugs before gesturing to them. “Do you want to read it for yourself or have me just explain it?” He asks and I take a breath, laying the letters and my shaky hands in my lap.

“Just tell me. I can’t bare it.” I tell him and he chuckles.

“Peter, they all want to offer you full rides.” He tells me and that has me on my feet before I can will myself not to.

“But I didn’t even send my transcripts.” I shout and he just chuckles at my surprise.

“I know. They ask for recommendations every year and I sent them you.” He tells me and I just stare at him for a second before I realize I’m not breathing.

_Breathe Peter._

“But why me?” I ask and he shrugs.

“Because you’re one of the brightest students I’ve ever had. Plus, you’re working and taking care of your aunt. I see these things. On top of all that, you’ve overcome a lot of struggles, what with your parents and your uncle, as well as your gender.” He tells me and my first response is to deny it, but I had to send my birth certificate in when I applied to the school.

“I don’t know what to say.” I respond and he smiles.

“You don’t have to say anything. You have until May to decide.” He tells me and dismisses me. I leave with the three letters in my hand, not even knowing what to do with myself.

My first instinct is to call Aunt May, but I decide against it. After all, Stanford is in California, which isn’t exactly a small distance.

But it also has the _best science program_ _in America._

So instead, I call up the only person who is safe with the news.

“Hey Pete.” Harry answers on the second ring and I smile.

“Hey, what are you doing right now?” I ask as I press the phone into my shoulder, putting the papers into my bag.

“About to start brainstorming my Stark Expo project.” He tells me and I gasp.

“Wait, you already have ideas?” I ask and he hums disapprovingly.

“Not at all, but I gotta start early, especially since my lab partner decided to compete with his friend from Midtown.” He tells me and I smile.

“Well do you want help? I have some news.” I tell him and I hear his chuckle echo into my ear.

“I could always use your help, Pete.” He tells me. I agree to meet him and hang up, going there as quickly as I can on feet, the whole time thinking about the three schools.

Stanford is the top school; my dream school, really. It’s number one in biology, chemistry, and physics, for crying out loud! But it’s also very far from both Aunt May and Harry.

Wait, why is Harry even on my mind for this? Sure, he’s my best friend, but that doesn’t mean he should be a factor in me deciding what college I should go to.

Anyways, Columbia also seems like a viable option. It’s not the best school, but it’s home and the chances of you finding a job in New York increase due to internships. It would help me stay close to Aunt May while still furthering my education.

Then there’s Harvard. It’s a top five school and not too far, but something about it just isn’t the same as Stanford.

I mean, it’s _Stanford_.

All this considered, I guess the decision is between two schools more than three. Stanford and Columbia.

I push this out of my mind as I approach Oscorps. I walk into Harry’s lab to see his notes sprawled out all over his desk. He looks up at me with those blue eyes and smiles.

“Hey, so what’s this news all about?” He asks and I pull out the letters and hand them to him. His eyes widen as he skims the labels, and he opens it one by one, his face betraying no emotion. As he reads the last one, the Stanford one, his hand covers his mouth. “Oh my god.” He gasps and I grin.

“I know.” I respond and he picks me up in an embrace, spinning me around. I laugh as he sets me down, a wide, surprised smile on his face.

“That’s amazing, Pete. Stanford is your dream school!” He reminds me and I bite my lip.

“I haven’t decided anything yet. I still have while.” I remind him and his eyes narrow.

“You’re not seriously thinking of turning down Stanford, are you?” His voice is stern and I look away.

“Well, there are a lot of things to think about.” I remind him and he sighs, eyes flickering to the side.

“True, I suppose” He ends it at that as he walks over to his notes, demeanor a bit distracted. I walk over and look over his shoulders as he sorts through experiment blueprints. Each paper is a vague idea with an idea of how to go about it, but one catches my eyes.

“A mind-reader?” I ask and he hums.

“Yeah, for interrogation and therapeutic purposes. You can send a sensory impulse to see certain memories.” He explains and I read the next line to see the words “chemical”.

“You’re thinking of a chemical compound for that?” I ask and he nods.

“Yeah, to relax the nervous system.” He tells me and I bite my lip.

“But if you’re using sensory impulses, wouldn’t you want to use electrical impulses? That way it would be less detrimental to the nervous system.” I point out and he pauses and turns to me.

“You’re a genius. That way you could also control the strength you use depending on the level of repression on the memory.” He says and glances down at his work. “Do you wanna be my partner with this?” He asks and I raise an eyebrow.

“Wouldn’t your dad be angry with the whole 'me going to Horizon' thing?” I ask and he shrugs.

“I mean, it’s not like it’s against the rules anymore for the expo and you’re the only person that I think could actually help me make this work.” He tells me and I smile.

“Then I’d love to.” I tell him and he turns to me and grins and my heart beats a little too hard in my chest.

“Great.” He responds and his voice is almost soft before to turns back to his notes, scribbling out his writings from before and adding new ones as I catch my breath.

That was weird.

We get to work quietly, only really talking when something important comes up. Norman makes an appearance once, greeting me with a false smile and a nod, but nothing comes of it. By the time we’re packing up to go, Harry seems a little antsy.

“What’s up?” I ask him and he shrugs.

“Nothing. Just thinking about where to get a pink tie.” He explains without really _explaining_ and I chuckle.

“Pink?”

“Liz.”

“Ah.” I answer simply and he shrugs.

“Randy got a date for homecoming, so I’m going with her.” He tells me and I nod. Horizon isn’t having a homecoming this year, deciding to push it to the winter so that we can be done for the first semester before the dance happens. Thankfully, though, because I don’t have to think about it for a while.

“I think I heard about that. Isn’t he taking Mary Jane?” I ask and he nods.

“Yeah, and about time. Those two have been pining after each other for ages.” He points out and I chuckle.

“Very true.” I answer and look at the clock, eyes widening when I realize it’s going on one. As if on a timer, I get a call from Aunt May. I turn to Harry who chuckles in response.

“Hi Aunt May.” I answer as I press my phone to my ear.

“Peter, you know I’m fine with you staying out late, but it’s one am.” She says and I sigh.

“Sorry, Harry and I were working on a project.” I tell her and she sighs.

“It’s fine, honey, just come home for the night. You have to at least text when you plan on staying out that late.” She reasons and I nod to myself.

“I know, I’m sorry.” I tell her and I can hear her smile as she says goodbye. I turn to Harry to see him stand and stretch his back.

“I guess that’s our cue to leave for the night.” He says and I smile as an answer. He packs up his papers and looks at the progress we made. It was mostly just ideas today and a bit of structural work, but having the shell can be hard sometimes, so we made a decent amount of progress.

“So, when do you wanna work on this again?” He asks and I shrug.

“If we end up working late, I can come after work tomorrow.” I tell him and he smiles.

“Cool. Sounds like a plan. Except tomorrow will have to be after nine.” He tells me, glancing off to the side. I decide not to question it as he scratches the back of his neck.

“That’s fine.” He says and I grab my backpack before heading out of the lab with him. I say goodnight before leaving the building, eyes starting to droop. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m off for the night.

A familiar face in a dark costume drops in front of me as I turn into an ally and I nearly shout.

“Miles.” I scold and he chuckles.

“Sorry, it was too hard to resist.” He tells me and I yawn.

“What’s up?” I ask and his tone becomes more serious.

“I’ve been reading a crazy amount of radiation from Oscorps. You just left there, right?” He asks and I nod.

“Yeah, but we weren’t working with radiation yet.” I tell him and he hums.

“Should we tell Mr. Stark?” He asks and I roll my eyes. Tony Stark has been in contact with me for the last year or so ever since we had a run-in with the Jackel again. Dr. Banner has been working on the evidence we got from the scene and Tony Stark has been keeping me updated, along with telling me to tell him if I “see anything suspicious”.

“This isn’t suspicious. Yet. We need more evidence. Keep an eye on the building in case you find something out.” I tell him and he nods.

“Are you sure you can’t come on patrol this weekend? I wanna keep a close eye on this.” He tells me and I bite my lip nervously.

“I’m working with Harry on a project, so I’ll look around inside. I can’t help this weekend.” I tell him. I feel bad about it, but I don’t like how not in control of my body I feel while I’m menstruating. I only got over my dysphoria when the spider bite made me look manlier; I can only guess it was because I was already on testosterone. The idea of not wearing my packer with my suit isn’t something I feel fully equipped to deal with, especially during my most hormonally unstable time.

“Okay buddy, but if you talk to the Avengers in person, you better bring me with.” He insists and I chuckle.

“Goodnight, Miles.”


	4. Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I'm posting early because I realized that I have 50k words written in all for this, so I don't have to wait. Plus, I was writing an angsty part and I decided to post a non-angsty part, lol.
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading so far and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> TRIGGERS: Parent problems as a whole, mentions of Harry's late mother, mentions of homophobia, and mentions of transphobia.

**_Harry's POV_ **

 

“Harry, your posture has been getting worse.” Natasha tells me with a frown. She taps the small of my back as I go into a plie at the bar for my cool down. I try not to scowl at her as I straighten my stance.

“Sorry.” I apologize and she sighs.

“What’s on your mind, Osborn? You’re never this quiet.” She sasses and I releve.

“Nothing.” I respond and she rolls her eyes.

“I don’t have time for this. If you want to talk, talk. If you don’t, at least practice like you mean it.” She tells me and takes a step back. “En pointe. Go.” She says and I frown.

“You know I can’t do that.” I argue and she raises an eyebrow.

“He speaks.” She sasses, shaking her head as she steps towards me again. “It’s one of three things. The father, the future, or the boy. Which is it?” She asks and I sigh.

“The mother, actually.” I respond and she nods in understanding.

“Anything I can help with?” She asked. Natasha has been teaching me ballet for as long as I can remember, having been taught by my mother originally. She’s been kicking my ass for years. It was her way of rebelling against my father, claiming that my mother only stopped dancing professionally for him and that she’d be damned if I stopped because of him too

“Not really.” I answer shortly and she nods. I’m not someone who likes thinking about the past, but with everything with my dad, my mind had been going back to her death. I remember her being in the hospital a lot because of problems when she gave birth to me, but other than that, I don’t know what happened, or what could’ve happened to set my dad off. I was only five and by then, they had me in school and daycare and with nannies enough that I didn’t know my mom had passed until about a day after.

We had been close until that year, though. She used to dance with me.

“En pointe.” Natasha says again, ripping me out of my thoughts and I sigh.

“I told you that I can’t.” I retort and fixes me with a tired look.

“And with that attitude, you never will.” She scolds me and steps in front of me. “Come on, I’ll do it with you and then we’ll be done for today.” She tells me and I nod.

“Okay.” I respond and she puts her hand in front of her. I mirror her as she lifts her arms up, gradually lifting herself onto her toes. I quickly start to feel the burn as I lift off the balls of my feet, and when I’m on the tips of my toes, I hiss out loud. I only last about two seconds before I grip the bar, landing back on my heels. I look up at Natasha, who just smiles.

“You’re getting better, Osborn.” She tells me and I sigh.

“It’s progress.” I retort and she walks toward where her water bottle sits by my things. I sit next to her and take off my pointe shoes, leaning back against the wall.

“Can you help me with class tomorrow? Ben and Tessa have been acting up again and I could use a partner.” She responds and I shake my head.

“Tomorrow won’t work, but I can help next week.” I tell her and she smirks.

“I forget kids your age still have a social life.” She jokes and I roll my eyes.

“I can hardly call doing homework and playing video games a social life.” I joke and she rolls her eyes.

“You could be doing worse things.” She says and I shrug.

“I’ll be in Monday to help with class.” I tell her and she smiles.

“Thank you.” She responds with a wave of the hand as I finish packing my stuff. She’s out the door before me as I pull on a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I don’t mind if Peter sees me in casual clothes, but it’s probably best he doesn’t see me in a leotard.

I leave the studio and glance at my phone, noting that it’s fifteen minutes until I’m supposed to meet Peter. I pick up my phone and shoot a text to Liz who had sent me a picture of her dress.

 

 **Harry** \- That’s not pink. That’s hot pink.

 **Liz** \- ur point?

 

I chuckle at her response as I walk up to the building, smiling even more when I see Peter already sitting in the lobby, fiddling on his phone.

“Hey Pete.” I call as I walk towards him and he jumps, as if just waking up. In fact, he does look tired, but that’s always how he gets when it’s this time. He stands, yawning as soon as he’s up straight.

“Hey.” He responds and starts walking towards the elevator as if this is his lab. I chuckle as he does so, leaning against the frame of the elevator. “So, I was thinking that maybe the waves we wrote down have too high of a frequency.” He says and I shrug.

“I mean, we’re trying to literally break into someone’s head.” I remind him and he shrugs.

“I know, but the frequency we have can break through some metals. Wouldn’t that just turn the brain to mush?” He points out and I pause, considering his point before sighing.

“Back to the drawing board with that one.” I decide and he nods.

“Thank god we planned for that.” He says with a sloppy grin and I find myself matching it. He looks down at me and before I realize what he’s looking at, he speaks. “Since when do you ever wear sweats in public?” He asks and I shrug.

“Need to do the laundry.” I respond and he raises an unconvinced eyebrow, but shrugs it off as if he doesn’t want to argue it. I frown.

I don’t like keeping things from Peter, but it’s just something I like to keep private. The only other person who knows is Liz and that’s because she’s in one of the classes I help teach.

We get to work quietly until Peter calls Aunt May, which is around midnight. After that, he leans against my desk.

“So, what else do you have to do while working on this project?” He asks and shake my head.

“You know I can’t tell you stuff like that. We are still competition.” I quip and he rolls his eyes.

“Work a shot.” He responds with a smiling hanging off his face. “Though, that’s only for about another year.” He reminds me and I turn to him, nodding.

“True. About time, too. I like being able to work with my best friend.” I admit and he looks down with a slight flush.

“Me too.” He responds and moves back to where he was working, quipping every now and then as my heart beats too fast at his blush and his voice and the fact that I’m an idiot who refuses to tell him I dance. Of all things to keep a secret, it seems the most stupid, I do and as much as it bothers me, it’s just one of those things. It’s not like he doesn’t have things he doesn’t tell me about. He has so many walls up that I generally have to find things out as an afternote. Hell, I’m surprised he came to me about college. But right now, as we work _together_ for once, I think that maybe that barrier might be slipping.

 

* * *

 

 

“You look like death.” Liz says as she walks into my lab. I groan as she turns on the light.

“I feel like death.” I retort and she walks up to me, handing me a cup of coffee which I gratefully accept.

“You know, maybe you should just go to bed.” She tells me and I sigh.

“I will. It’s just this damn serum I have to work with.” I explain and she chuckles.

“Aren’t you working with Peter again tonight?” She asks and I drink the coffee she gave me, thankful of the fact that she took my bitching seriously. I love working with Peter, but we lost track of time and I went to sleep about two hours before I had to wake up again.

“I’m seeing him, but we’re not working on the project.” I explain and she smirks.

“You’re spending a lot of time with him.” She states and I raise an eyebrow.

“And what are you alluding to?” I ask and she scoffs.

“It should be obvious. You two haven’t spent this much time together since before high school. You’ve seen him almost every day this week and knowing you two, you’ll end up spending the whole weekend together like you always end up doing when you ‘hang out on Friday’.” She walks me through and I shake my head.

“I still don’t get the point of this. We’re working on something together for the Stark Expo. You have to put a lot of hours in.” I remind her as if she isn’t looking for a partner herself right now and she nods.

“Yes. A lot of hours that you have to spend with him in which you could ask him out and he could confess he’s in love with you.” She concludes and I roll my eyes. It’s so obvious he doesn’t feel that way, despite what Liz may try to convince me.

“You’re an idiot.” I retort and she groans.

“Come on! When was the last time you guys actually had the time to see each other this much?” She asks and I roll my eyes.

“Don’t act like he’s a stranger now. I see him at least once a week.” I tell her and she nods.

“And from now on, it’ll be more. So take advantage of it.” She insists and I shake my head.

“You’re not gonna let me get anything done, are you?” I ask and she shakes her head.

“I cut school to make sure you take a nap, so basically, we should go to your house and I’ll nap with you.” She suggests with a smile and I laugh.

“Fine. I’ll just work on this tomorrow.” I respond and she grins.

“Good.” She tells me and the doors open to my lab and my father walks in, stopping at the door when he sees Liz sitting on my desk.

“Hello.” He approaches with a curious smile and I turn back to my work.

That’s one thing about my father. He always assumes I’m dating girls because he doesn’t know that I’ve never liked a girl. I haven’t come out to him because frankly, I don’t think it would go well. Not to mention, my father has made his stance quite clear about Peter. He tried to get me to stop talking to him when I was in middle school while he was transitioning. He also wouldn’t call him Peter for two years after he legally changed his name. It was hard to get him to open his eyes, but he finally came around. At least, a little.

The idea of me coming out to my father is a nightmare to me. I mean, if he’s that close minded about his son’s best friend transitioning, then how will he be about his son dating a man, who happens to be a trans man, for that matter? Sure, transphobia and homophobia are vastly different, but I somehow don’t see my father being very good about either.

Liz and my father talk and I tune it out. It’s all small talk anyways, her trying to end the conversation while he tries to remember her name because he forgot it since the last time they spoke. I only come to when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

I jump.

“Harry?” Liz says and I look around to see that my dad isn’t in here anymore. She raises an eyebrow and I brush her off.

“Let’s go to sleep.” I change the subject and she smiles.

“Sounds like a plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't tell me Harry wouldn't be an amazing dancer. Did you see him in that suit? The broad shoulders and small waist? The body of a dancer. Fight me.
> 
> ALSO, WE'RE JUST GONNA PRETEND BLACK WIDOW'S IDENTITY IS A SECRET HAHA K THANKS BYEEEEE


	5. Coming Out Of The Stall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID THAT FINALE KILL YOU BECAUSE IT SURE AS HELL KILLED ME
> 
> So here's the new chapter! Thank you all for the support so far!
> 
> Also, I went back and changed a minor detail. Midtown's homecoming isn't two weeks after the second chapter anymore. It's gonna be later. Just thought I'd mention that for timeline details. If you wanna read the exact edit, it's in Chapter 2.
> 
> Thanks again and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Possible triggers: premature coming out.

_**Peter's POV** _

 

 

“Peter.” A voice says and I jolt up on my desk, internally groaning when I realize I slept through class again. I look up at Gwen, who is smiling at me as I wipe the sleep from my eyes.

“What did I miss?” I ask and she chuckles.

“Late night?” She returns the question instead of quizzing me like Anya would’ve. I shrug, noticing that everyone around us is quietly working on something. I look down at my stupid poem and swear. Right. That’s what I was doing before I fell asleep.

“Peter, are you okay?” She presses, pushing her blonde bangs behind her ear. She looks worried, making me frown. 

“I’m fine.” I tell her as if I don’t feel like crawling into bed and never getting out. Ever since becoming Spider-Man, it’s been hard to balance everything. I thought it would’ve gotten easier, and it did, for a while. With Miles helping me patrol, it got easier to live a double life.

But some things in life are still a pain in the butt.

Or in this case, a pain in the front hole.

That on top of staying up until some ungodly hour working on a literal mind-reader means it’s catching up with me even without patrol right now.

She doesn’t look too convinced as I pull a leg up to my chest. “Peter, are you sure you aren’t getting sick?” She pries and I sigh. 

God, I don’t want to come out to her.

Or anyone.

I’d rather tell her I’m Spider-Man.

_Actually, that’s an exaggeration, but that’s not the point._

“Gwen, I’m fine.” I tell her and she sighs. Then she picks up my paper and skims it, an eyebrow raising as she takes in its words.

“Not a bad start.” She says and I scowl.

“I have no idea where to go with it.”

“The assignment says to write your thoughts.”

“The assignment is stupid.” I retort. Honestly, the idea of taking a poetry class still irks me, but Max insisted expression is good for scientists.

_Somehow, I’m not convinced._

“Well, if you’re not gonna tell me about why you’re crouched over your desk, at least agree to start working on the Stark Expo project with me after school. The other two paired up and you’re the always the best partner.” She says as if we aren’t in poetry class and I frown, remembering why I’m tired in the first place.

“I’m actually working on something with Harry for it. Sorry, Gwen.” I respond and she frowns.

“I swear, I’m the only one who doesn’t have some life-long lab partner like you guys and Miles and Anya.” She frowns and I remember being back at Midtown when Liz used to say the same thing since Randy is more of an English guy.

Actually....

“I mean, would you be opposed to working with someone from another school?” I ask and she raises an eyebrow.

“Depends.” Her tone is suspicious as she looks at me and I sigh.

“Her name is Liz Allen and she’s from Midtown. She was one of Harry and my good friends when we went there. Kicked my butt almost as much as Anya does.” I joke and she smirks.

“Sounds like a Grade A girl.” She responds and I smile.

“I’ll talk to her about it tonight and send you her number.” I tell her and another cramp spike kicks in my stomach, making me groan lowly. Gwen looks positively panicked now.

“Okay, I’m talking to the teacher, we need to get you out of here.” She responds and I sigh.

“Gwen...” I try, but she’s talking to the teacher before I even get a chance. She comes back to my seat and pulls me up, much to the amusement of the rest of the class. I flush darkly as she grabs our stuff and takes me out of the room, leading to many suspicious whispers.

“You know they’re gonna think we’re dating even more now.” I point out once the door shuts behind me and she rolls her eyes, smirking at me.

“I couldn’t care less. To say the least, Peter, I'm not really looking for any men, and I don't know any girls here who are worth looking at.” She tells me and _oh_. I guess that makes sense. I don’t say anything as we continue to walk because it feels like my uterus is trying to kill me.

She takes me into the woman’s room, not caring about how it looks as the other girls flee out. 

“Do you need to puke?” She asks and I shake my head as I lean against the sink. She sighs. “What are your symptoms?”

“Are you trying to diagnose me?” I ask and she nods as if it’s obvious. “I’m fine!”

“Just tell me so I can help you.” She complains and I sigh. 

I don’t think I have a choice.

“I have menstrual cramps.”

“See, was that so ha...” She trails off and stares at me for a second in surprise. “I beg your pardon?” She blinks and I sigh.

“I only have my period four times a year due to my birth control and testosterone, but they hurt like hell.” I tell her and she pauses.

“Wait wait wait. You have...” She starts and I look down.

“I’m trans.” I tell her and she gasps.

“Damn, I was wrong? I just thought you weren’t straight, not anything with the gender spectrum.” She says and I look up at her as she covers her mouth in genuine surprise and I laugh.

“I mean, I guess that depends on what you read about the sexuality part.” I respond and her mouth scrunches in concentration.

“Bisexual.”

“Pan, actually, but not bad.” I tell her and she nods.

“Well, I have some midol if that would help.” She offers and I sigh.

“That’d be nice.” I accept graciously and she smiles.

“You know you could’ve told me.” She responds and I raise an eyebrow.

“You didn’t tell me you like girls.”

“Touché.” She responds and I take the pill she gives me. I sigh and look up at her.

“Please don’t tell the others. I want to tell them in my own time.” I tell her and someone walks out of a stall I didn’t realize was closed.

Or  _someones_.

“Too late.” Miles says as he comes out behind Anya, both of their lips swollen. My jaw drops.

“Oh.” Gwen responds and Anya just giggles as she fixes her hair.

“Well, I guess all the secrets are out.” She says and Miles looks over at me as if  _now_  is suddenly a good time to tell the other as he zips his pants, but I don’t spare him a glance at him as I smile at Anya.

We all agree to meet in the lab on Monday and leave the bathroom in a group awkwardly as class ends. Gwen grabs my arm as we walk out.

“What was that about?” She asks and I swallow.

Dammit Miles.

“Nothing.” I respond, but she doesn’t look convinced.

“Then why do you know what I’m talking about?”

_Dammit Miles._

“It’s not something to share today.” I tell her simply and she whines.

“Peter, I thought we were done with this.” She complains and I turn to her with a frown. I close my eyes.

“Gwen, I didn’t really want to tell anyone about the whole trans thing either. Can you please give me some time?” I respond and when I open my eyes, she’s biting her lip.

“Of course. I’m sorry for pushing.” She answers and I smile.

“It’s okay. I’ll let you know about Liz, okay?” I tell her and she nods.

“Okay. I’ll see you later.” She responds and I sigh in relief as she turns to go to her next class.

Thank god I dodged that bullet for now, but I’ll have to be extra careful around Gwen.

Another cramp kicks my uterus and I hold back a groan.

_And thank god Miles is on patrol tonight._

 

 

* * *

 

 

“So, Anya?” I tease Miles as he works next to me. We’re partners for a biology project, though after today, he’s probably done enough biology for the both of us. He doesn’t blush, though. He smiles, still looking at our work as he smiles.

“Yeah.” He answers simply. I raise an eyebrow.

“How long has that been happening?” I ask him and he shrugs.

“About six months. We didn’t want to make a big deal about it, but with her already knowing what college she’s going to, it’s time to get serious.” He tells me and I shake my head.

“You were quaking in your shoes at the prospect of being late to see her the other day. What changed?” I ask and he shrugs.

“That’s just it. Nothing did. I just looked up at her one day when we were walking home and knew. No warning. I just looked at her, smiling at something we were passing and I knew.” He tells me and I look down at my notes.

“I don’t know. Seems confusing.” I tell him and he chuckles.

“Haven’t you ever looked at someone and your mind ever just stopped for too long. You think things you normally wouldn’t?” He asks and I think back to the last few nights with Harry, working on his lab, and those eyes of his that always light up at the most inopportune times. And his smile when I told him I would work with him…

“No.” I say, probably too abruptly, and he sighs.

“Then maybe you should look again.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask and he chuckles.

“Nothing, Peter. You just have too busy of a mind sometimes.” He ends it with that as Anya comes into the lab too, taking a seat next to him and working on her own homework. I frown. My mind is too busy? That doesn’t seem possible. Sometimes I think I don’t think _enough_.

But something in the back of my mind tells me to listen as I pull out the first seven lines of my poem, sprawled out in a notebook.

_Write your thoughts, huh?_

I put down the last nine lines without stopping to check them over. I don’t go back and reread it until it’s done and I can’t second guess myself. It’s only then that a flush rises to my face at what I read.

“You good, Peter?” Anya asks and Miles shoots me a shit-eating grin. I return it with a scowl.

“Fine, thanks.” I bite and Anya looks to Miles in confusion as my phone rings in my pocket.

“Hey Harry.” I answer, knowing it’s him. The only people who actually call me are Aunt May and Harry, and even then, Aunt May only calls when I’m out too late.

“Hey Pete. You on your way?” He asks and I pause before groaning.

“It’s Friday.”

“And you forgot.” He retorts with a chuckle and I shake my head.

“I knew I had to meet you on Friday, but I forgot that it _'_ s Friday.” I respond weakly. His hum isn’t convinced.

“It’s okay. We had a late night last night. I’ll just order for you inside.” He tells me and I sigh in relief.

“Thank you so much. Just get me…”

“Raspberry tea. It’s the end of September. I know these things.” He tells me and I chuckle, packing my things and flushing as I put my poem away.

“You’re the best.” I conclude and he scoffs.

“That was a question?” He jokes and I roll my eyes.

“I’ll see you soon, you dork.” I respond and hang up my phone. I look up to the other two to see Anya smiling to herself and Miles’ stupid grin making a return.

“What?” I ask, already tired of whatever he has to say. He shrugs.

“Look again.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miles is a bro and you can't convince me otherwise.


	6. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of people who have been following this has shocked me. I want you all to know that I appreciate all of the comments and that you have been enjoying it this far. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the chapter!!
> 
> I don't think there are any potential triggers in this chapter. It's pretty light except for Peter's angsty poem. 
> 
> Also, yes, the "Penis Parker" thing is a callback to Spiderman: Homecoming.

**_Harry's POV_ **

 

“And then Miles and Anya come out of the stall looking like they just did the do.” Peter chuckles as he retells the story to me and I laugh alongside him.

“Oh god.” I wheeze and he smiles.

“But yeah, overall it went well.” He tells me and I try not to sigh in relief. Peter has told very few people about his situation, so it’s good that the people who know are respectful. It’s better than Flash, back when Peter was transitioning in middle school, calling him “Penis Parker”. I still remember how upset Peter would get over it.

Peter is hunched over a little more than normal like he always is on his period. I knew to get him tea before he came here and he looked instantly relieved when I handed it to him.

“Well if you want some more good news, I think I figured out the problem with our project.” I tell him and he perks up.

“Oo, do tell.” He answers excitedly, eyes shining and I smile at him.

God, he’s beautiful.

_Focus, Harry._

“Our wavelengths were too weak.” I explain and his eyebrows furrow.

“But if we strengthen them too much, then it could literally melt the brain of the user.” He points out and I nod.

“Exactly. Now we just need to find the balance between the two.” I respond and he bites his lower lip in thought.

“Yeah, that’s doable.” He responds and smiles. “I’m glad we’re doing this.” He tells me and I nod.

“Me too, though I feel bad for Gwen now.” I joke and he chuckles.

“I’m setting her up with Liz.” He says and I raise an eyebrow.

“Setting her up as a lab partner or as a _partner_?” I speculate and he pauses.

“The first one, but the second wouldn’t be bad either, I suppose.” He responds and I nod, trying my best to ignore my bet with Liz.

“Speaking of, is there anyone you’re after over there?” I try to ask nonchalantly, internally begging him to say no. But at the same time, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea for him to put me out of my misery _before_ I have to make an ass out of myself.

“Not really. I haven’t really had the time, what with work and my studies and our project.” He explains and takes a sip of his tea. I try not to seem too happy about it.

“Fair enough.” I respond and he raises an eyebrow.

“What about you? Any cuties caught your eye?” 

_One._

“No. Like you said, I don’t have time to look for people.” I respond and he smirks.

“Careful, or you’ll live up to the whole ‘scientists are always bachelors’ stereotype.” He jokes and I shrug.

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a career over a romantic partner.” I tell him as he plays with his tea string and unknowingly plays with my heart strings.

“I don’t know. Call me silly, but I like the idea of love.” He says with a small smile and I want to tell him,  _no, you aren’t silly, all I want is you, though, and you’ll never want me like that._

I nearly almost bite my fist instead.

“Nothing wrong with that.” I respond instead and take a drink of my smoothie. He sips his tea before raising a finger like he always does when he remembers something.

“Aunt May is seeing someone.” He tells me and my eyes widen.

“No way, really?” I respond and he nods.

“Yeah, she got home really late after the date and he kissed her at the door.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“Wow. How do you feel about that?” I ask and he shrugs.

“I mean, Uncle Ben passed away three years ago now. She deserves to have someone who makes her happy.” He explains and I smile.

“Well, I’m happy for her.” I finalize and he grins.

“Speaking of, she has the night shift, you still free tonight?” He asks and I shrug.

“Only if you’re ready to get your ass beaten at Super Smash Bros.” I respond and he rolls his eyes.

“In your dreams, Osborn.” He retorts and I try not to scowl. I know he doesn’t mean it how others do, but I always hate being reminded of my last name.

He finishes his tea and we end up going to his place soon after, working on homework before actually playing the game. He lays on his bed while I work on his desk.

I look at him between problems and see him worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he scribbles down notes.

“Calculus?” I ask and his head snaps up as I pull him out of his reverie. 

“No. Max is making me take a poetry class, actually. It’s my last English course and it’s killing me.” He answers and I get up and walk over. He scoots over and I sit next to where he’s lying.

“What’s the assignment?” I ask and he huffs.

“A poem about being internal struggle, though this poem in itself is an internal struggle.” He fights and I ruffle his hair as he huffs. I skim his poem over his shoulder.

 

 

_It feels like soaring through the sky,_

_With all the other birds up high._

_Although I know that I can’t fly,_

_I still wish I could try,_

_I wish I could drive a getaway car,_

_To run away from all my scars_

_But I know I wouldn’t get very far_

_Because his eyes are filled with stars,_

_Oh, those eyes, so full of blue,_

_They keep me drawn in close to you,_

_I sometimes hope you’ll love me too,_

_But I just don’t think that’s true_

_So, while I’m up high, in the sky,_

_Watching as the world goes by,_

_I hope that one day I can fly_

_And you won’t say goodbye._

 

 

“Pete, this is great.” I tell him and he shakes his head. 

“The syllable count is wrong and...”

“Peter, it’s actually really good.” I tell him and he flushes.

“I feel like I need to clean it up more.” He grumbles and I shake my head.

“It’s perfect as is.” I tell him and he’s quiet for a minute as he scowls at it. It takes a second for it to connect why.

My heart drops.

“It’s a love poem.” I point out and he rolls his eyes.

“It’s not.”

“It literally says love.”

“For dramatic effect.” He argues and I scowl.

“I thought you weren’t interested in anyone.” I broach the subject reluctantly and his eyes move to the string of lights hanging on his wall.

“I’m not. At least, I don’t think.” His voice is quiet as he sighs. “I don’t know what’s going on in my head. Either way, it’s not love.” He affirms.

“But you said you like the idea of love.”

“Doesn’t mean it is when I’m seventeen and not even sure if it’s a crush. I’d rather not talk about this.” He retorts and I force a smile.

“Okay. But if you every do wanna talk about it, I’m here.” I tell him and he smiles just a little.

“Thanks Harry.” He responds and sits up, putting the poem in a folder.

“Yeah, always.” I answer, running a hand through my hair. “So, super smash bros?” I suggest and he chuckles.

“I’m gonna kick your butt.” He fights and I smirk.

“I’d like to see you try.” I tell him and he leans so he’s in my face. I try not to gulp.

“I’m a man on my period. Come at me, bitch.” He jokes and I laugh as he moves to the floor, seemingly in a better mood now if the light profanity is any telling. He swears maybe twice a year and it’s generally in meme form, so I’ll take it as a good sign. We end up playing for a few hours, only stopping to order a pizza, and I play as Zelda and he plays as Link. By the time the pizza gets here, the score is even.

“When did you get so good at this?” He asks me and I chuckle.

“We’ve been playing the same games since we were little. It’s about time I got decent at it.” I respond since Peter normally always beats me. The only reason I ever win is because I shove him in real life whenever I attack him in the game.

Yeah, we’re not very “fair” gamers.

We end up turning on a movie and laying sideways so our head shares a pillow but we lay on opposite sides of it.

“You know, I think if your machine works, we’d be able to win the Stark Expo.” He tells me and I nod.

“I agree. _Our_ machine would move mountains in the interrogation field and it would take away the need for torture.” I respond and he smiles at me.

“Geez, think about that. Us winning the Stark Expo.” He dreams out loud and I chuckle.

“As long as there isn’t some giant battle like three years ago.” I joke and he laughs.

“Oh god, that was terrible.” He responds and I turn to look at him.

 _Whoever this guy that has his attention is, I hope he knows he’s lucky,_ I think as he turns to me and smiles, green eyes lit up by his fairy lights.

“Well, we can only hope for the best.” He says and sits up. I allow myself a heavy sigh.

“Yeah, I guess that’s all we can do.”


	7. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter of the day/night!
> 
> I hope ya'll like it. Extra long chapter while Pete comes to a realization ;)
> 
> Triggers: Abusive father aka Norman Osborn.

_**Peter's POV** _

 

Harry read my poem.

I wake up to that thought. I’m not sure why it’s so traumatizing to me as it is. I mean, he didn’t know I was talking about being Spider-Man. He probably just thought it was a metaphor or whatever. But I wrote about Spider-Man and _him_ and…

You know what? I blame Miles.

If he hadn’t been all “Peter, you think too much,” I wouldn’t have _started_ to think too much about this and now Harry thinks I have a secret crush on some guy with blue eyes that _isn’t_ him.

Not that I _have_ a crush on him.

_Right?_

It’s not like it matters! I mean, it’s Harry. He’s my best friend and there’s no way he seems me as more. It doesn’t matter if he has nice eyes or a good smile. He probably doesn’t even like guys.

Which leads me to the question of _how do I not know if my best friend likes guys?_

“You’re thinking too much.” Harry says sleepily and I jolt, turning to where he lays on the floor, rubbing his eyes. I try to force the scowl off my face, but it turns into a pout.

“I blame Miles.” I tell him and he chuckles.

“I think this is probably an argument I should stay out of.” He concludes and even in his tired state, he’s smart enough to pick his battles. He sits up, stretching out his arms over his head and I frown.

Well, I guess I _could_ just ask.

“Are you gay?” I question before I lose nerve and his eyes snap open and he blinks at me for a second.

“Have we never talked about this?” He asks and I chuckle.

“No. I was just thinking about it and I don’t think I’ve ever heard you label it.” I justify my curiosity and he shrugs.

“I mean, you never did either, but I always knew you didn’t care about gender.” He tells me and I shrug.

“I guess I always assumed you were straight.” I admit and his eyes widen before his hand goes to cover his mouth.

“Oh Peter.” He laughs behind his hand, shaking his head. “You’re oblivious.” He says and gets up, his boxer brief-covered butt facing me as he bends over to get his pants off the ground. I try not to stare.

“Should I take that as a no?” I ask as he puts his pants back on and he huffs a laugh.

“I never had a need to label it. I’m very picky, so it’s not like it matters. I just know I like… certain people.” He explains and I shrug. Well, I guess that takes away my worry about him not liking guys and…

_Peter Parker, you are not going down this route._

“Cool.” I answer shortly and stand. He raises an eyebrow.

“Why ask all of the sudden?” He questions and I rack my brain for an answer that isn’t “because I wrote a love poem about you without thinking and now I can’t stop thinking and _I blame Miles”._

“Well… I didn’t know Gwen liked girls so… I guess I was curious to see if I missed that with you too.” I explain and his smile lessens a bit as he laughs.

“Well, I’m not straight, Gwen isn’t, and I don’t know why Liz thinks she’s even in the closet anymore with how much she checks out other girls.” He jokes and I chuckle.

“At least I didn’t miss her.” I excuse myself and he nods.

“I’d be worried about you if you missed that.” He kids and I roll my neck, grabbing the shirt closest to me and pulling it on. It’s only after I notice the low collar that I realize it isn’t mine. I look up and Harry looks at me with a raised eyebrow as I sit on the ground, wearing his sweater.

“Sorry.” I say and go to pull it off and he waves a hand.

“It looks good on you.” He concludes and buckles his belt before pulling on his button down, actually putting the collar down for once. I try not to flush as I stand.

Great, first I write a love poem, then I ask if he’s gay, and now I’m wearing his sweater and god, it smells like him and _shut up, Parker._

“So, are we going to the lab today?” I ask to distract myself and Harry hums.

“Yes, but first, we need to get a watermelon.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“A watermelon?” I question and he nods.

“Trust me.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“I guess I don’t have a choice.” I retort and he chuckles.

“Ye of little faith, Parker.” He quips sarcastically and I give him an even look.

“Oops.” I respond and he smacks me upside the head.

“Come on, man. We got work to do.” He responds and I grab my phone, seeing that Liz texted back to give me the okay.

“Wanna meet with Liz and Gwen tomorrow?” I ask and he raises an eyebrow.

“Sure, but why should we be there?” He asks and I shrug.

“Makes it easier than sending them in blindly.” I tell him and he snap-points at me.

“Good thinking.” He tells me and I text the arrangements. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. Harry does the same with the spare he leaves here and then we get our things ready to go.

I wave to Aunt May on our way out since it’s her day off. She smiles as she waves us off, letting me know what time dinner will be.

We go to the subway after that and I internally scowl. I would normally just swing through the city, but with Harry with me, that’s next to impossible. Plus, I don’t want to be bothered with taxi fare.

The subway is crowded this morning, though it’s after ten by now. Harry and I are both standing, one of his hands on my back as people flood in and out. It’s almost as if he doesn’t realize he’s doing it, but I smile when he pulls me closer to make room for someone else making their way onto the train.

The subway ride takes about an hour and that seems to drag on. I fiddle on my phone and people crowd on and off. I mean, the train to Manhattan is almost always full, so I shouldn’t be that surprised.

At one point, I get bumped into where Harry stands against a pole. My chest is pressed to his and I’m struck by the fact that he’s just a little bit taller than me. Just enough that I have to tilt my head up to meet those blue eyes.

His eyes are wide as he looks down at me and it takes me a minute to realize I’m probably too close for his comfort level. But then that firm hand on my back keeps me close and I find myself relaxing into him.

“Sorry.” I mutter as he looks off to the side, not really looking all that bothered.

“It’s crowded, it’s fine.” He assures and him arm stays on my side, making my heart beat a little too fast.

I blame Miles for that part. He’s the _only reason_ my heart is pounding and I forget to breathe when Harry turns to look at me.

“You good?” He asks and I nod.

“Perfect.” I squeak, my voice cracks horribly. That protective arm tightens around my waist. I try not to choke, going back to my phone to finalize plans for tomorrow with Liz and Gwen.

By the time we’re getting off the subway, I feel like I’ve ran a marathon for some reason. My heart is beating way too fast as I step off the bus. I decide to shrug it off for now. Maybe it’s a spider thing, I don’t know.

We go to the store and pick up a watermelon for reasons I’m still unsure of and head over to Os Academy. We get to work on setting everything up, from our notes to materials to the machine itself.

“So, why did we need the watermelon?” I ask once my patience runs out and Harry turns to me with a smile as he works on programming the mechanism.

“We’re testing the wavelengths today.” He explains. He’s so excited, eyes shining and it makes my heartbeat pick up again. He picks up a paper, looking at it as he types. “By increasing the wavelengths of the sensory rather than the frequency, it can go into suppressed parts of the brain with no damage.” He tells me, turning to me with a wide grin and I just stare at him.

He’s positively vivid right now. I don’t know how else to describe it. He’s vivid and lively like he often tries to stifle, but it unabashed and...

“Now we test it.” He his voice cuts through my thoughts as he finishes typing and I raise an eyebrow.

"And the watermelon?” I ponder and he turns towards me, that focused aura returning and all I can do it stare, captivated.

I’ve always enjoyed working with Harry in the lab. There’s something to be said when he’s in his element; completely focused. It’s when he seems the most free, mask completely gone and I love seeing him like this.

Though, it makes me feel like I’m probably gonna die young as he gives a confident smile, making my heart palpitate.

“A stand in. We have to do a safety check before we try it out.” He informs me and straps the machine onto the watermelon, making me chuckle.

“You get points for being thorough, that’s for sure.” I say and he hands me the button.

“Would you like to do the honors?” He asks, handing me the button regally and I put a hand over my heart playfully.

“I’d be honored.” I respond and press the button. It works with only a low hum, but I suddenly feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand as the waves are transmitted into the watermelon.

“The readings are a going crazy.” He says as he looks at the monitor, viewing the radiation before his eyes widen. “It’s gonna blow!” He yells and steps in front of me just before the watermelon blows up. A piece of the rind hits his back and he falls onto me, grabbing my head as we both go down. He keeps it up as we hit the ground.

I click the button to turn it off during the collision and land with a thud, my head narrowly missing the fall. I open my eyes to see Harry’s closed right above mine. He’s holding me with one arm and holding himself up with another. He sighs and I feel it on my face. 

Why is this making my head so foggy?

Up close, I can see the crease in between his eyebrows and the curve of his lips.

Those lips that are just an inch away from mine.

_I could lean forward._

The thought takes me aback when I realize that this is Harry. This is my best friend. Why in the world would I want to kiss my best friend?

As his blue eyes open, I find the thoughts only grow stronger.

Is this it? Is this what Miles was telling me about? Just knowing suddenly when it’s right in front of you? Because as I notice my hand protectively on his waist from the fall, all I want to do is use it to pull him closer.

God, what am I thinking?

And why is Harry looking at my lips too?

His eyes are wide, flickering between my lips and eyes. Maybe I’m just imagining it, but his pupils seem dilated as well. 

 _Just kiss me already,_ my mind screams before I have the restraint to stop it and it forces me to a full halt.

Oh my god. 

I really do like my best friend, don’t I?

Right when I swear Harry starts to move a little closer, the door swings open and Dr. Osborn comes into the room.

“What happened in here?” He demands and I feel Harry’s back stiffen against my hand. He gets up quickly, turning towards his father. I try not to mourn the loss.

“My wave lengths were too strong and a watermelon exploded.” He explains as if that would make sense to someone walking in and Norman shakes his head.

“I meant with the Jackel vial.” He explains, looking around frantically and I raise an eyebrow. Jackel vial? Could this be a new weapon?

I look over to where Harry leaves his test chemicals it to see that a piece of watermelon had cracked open a green vial. Could that be it?

_Well, I can always find out._

I take an empty vial from the shelf wall, sneaking over to where it was sitting as Norman and Harry have a screaming match. I feel bad just sitting in the background for this, but I need a sample of that serum.

I’m able to get a little and secure it in my back pocket before Norman slaps Harry across the face.

“Hey!” I shout as I step between them. Norman’s eyes narrow as I try to appear as big as possible.

“This is between father and son.” He bites and something in his tone makes a shiver rack my spine. I suppress it.

“Well, I’m _currently standing_ between father and son and I refuse to step out.” I retort and his eyes narrow.

“You always were quick-witted.” He drawls in a way that makes my heart stop.

Oh no. Please tell me he didn’t figure it out.

_Who knew my superhero puns would bite me in the butt?_

If he does figure it out, he doesn’t say anything as he leaves with a wave of the hand.

“Get out of here. Lab tech is going to clean up the residue.” He announces and leaves just as abruptly as he came in. I turn to Harry, taking his face in my hands and looking over the now red hand mark. His mask is glued back on as he sets his jaw, his eyes not meeting mine. They’re also red-rimmed, but I know he won’t cry. His voice just has the smallest tremor when he speaks.

“You didn’t have to do that.” He murmurs and I sigh.

“No, but I’m glad I did.” I admit and the statement is honest. Even if Norman may have figured out my identity, it was worth it.

Plus, he still has to prove it.

“Thank you, Pete.” Harry whispers as my thumb traces a newly forming bruise. _That was fast. I hope it doesn’t bruise too badly._

“Always.” I respond as someone knocks on the door. My hands reluctantly leave his face as I grab my backpack. “Let’s get out of here. Aunt May wouldn’t mind having you over for dinner.” I tell him and he offers a small smile. It’s progress.

“Okay.” He mutters and I know I probably won’t get much more out of him for the night.

I lead him with a hand on his wrist out of the building and to my house. Thank god it’s the weekend so he doesn’t have to see his father for a couple days.

Harry turns eighteen in a few months and all I want is to talk him into leaving, but we both know that he can’t. He doesn’t have extended family and his father would just find a way to bring him back.

Plus, I think he feels like he owes the man somehow. Or his mother. I can’t be sure which.

When we get home, Aunt May calls a hello and I call back as she walks into the room. She takes one look at Harry and his bruised cheek and forces a smile. She knows the drill.

“I’ll set an extra place at the table.” She says and Harry and I go up to my room. I turn on my GameCube and he scoffs.

“Are you tracking Spider-Man’s wins and losses?” He asks and I almost choke on my spit. I turn to him to see him standing by my closet, looking at the check marks.

“It’s pretty interesting. I mean, he hasn’t been around for long. He’s like a baby superhero.” I justify and he gives me a side eye.

Harry has made it quite clear how he feels about Spider-Man, but I almost can’t blame him. Circumstances are never in favor of him liking Spider-Man, what with the first encounter. 

Still scares me, though. If he ever finds out... 

I shake that thought out of me head and start up Mario Kart as he sits down. I slip the vial from my pocket into the closet before closing the door and joining him on the floor. “It’s fine, I get that you’re a fanboy. It’s fine.” He jokes as he takes the corded controller and I elbow him.

“Jerk.” I mutter and he barks a laugh, making me breathe a little easier. 

As always, I pick Mario and Harry picks Peach. We’ve been doing since ever since I first came out as trans to him. It was his way of meeting me in the middle. He does this with most video games we play and I love it. It’s always been his way to be supportive, to be neutral when it comes to these things. He was the one that taught me men could still be sensitive, which was half of the reason I questioned coming out all that time ago. While he’s not one to embrace his feminine side, especially in public, he allows me to be soft and still be a man.

I pick Peach’s cart as well as he picks Mario’s. It’s routine at this point.

We play mindlessly for about an hour, shoving each other to mess the other up on Rainbow Road, which just ends in us wrestling and laughing until I’m giggling into the crook of his neck.

“Oh god, this is going to be our worst time on this path yet.” He chuckles and I smile.

“I think we’re past the ten-minute mark at this point.” I laugh and he snorts, making me laugh harder.

“We failed Rainbow Road. We’re failing gays everywhere.” He jokes and I look up at him with a chuckle.

“I don’t know about you, but I do that on a daily.” I joke back as I look up and him and he pushes the hair out of my face.

“You’re doing fine, Pete.” He responds with a smile and my heart does that stammering thing again.

_God, is this it? Do I actually like my best friend?_

I ignore that as I look at the bruise continuing to form of the side of his face he’s kept away from me. I rub my thumb along it and he hisses, but his hand is gentle when it grabs mine.

“I’m fine.” He murmurs and I try to smile for him.

“If you’re sure.” I start, thinking of a way to distract him. I yank his controller out of the game station, pleased I have the wireless one. 

“Ha!” I bark and sit up, continuing the race and he swears, tackling me. I keep my leg out towards him so he’s far enough away that I can keep playing as he tries to move towards me.

“God, when did you get so strong.” He whines and I chuckle, remembering to mind my powers.

“Shut up, I’m winning.” I retort and he takes my foot and tickles it, making me scream.

“Stop!” I cackle as he steals my remote as I draw my leg back in. He drives me off of the edge as I throw myself onto him, careful not to push him too much.

He laughs under me as my head ends up right back in the crook of his neck. We end up just laying like that for a bit, neither one of us continuing to play the game. One of his hands start playing with my hair and the other wraps around my waist. We don’t move until Aunt May knocks on the door, calling us to dinner. Even then, we only get up when my stomach growls loudly, breaking the silence in my room. He chuckles.

“Come on. Aunt May is probably getting impatient. We should go down.” He says and I grunt.

“But I don’t want to move.” I complain and he smiles.

“Get up, Pete.” He responds and I groan,

“Fine.” I whine and roll off of him, watching as he sits up, stretching out his long back and I admire blatantly. He ruffles my hair and moves to stand. It makes my heart race.

Dinner is quick because Aunt May has another date, the last one having gone well, but I can’t help but think of Harry the whole time and his bruise on his face and his eyes.

It continues into the night as we lay around, talking about everything that isn’t important but still keeps us engaged, his hand on my waist as we lay on the floor. I never released how casually we touched until now, but I’ve always wanted a certain closeness to him. Always near or touching or together.

As we fall asleep, his arm still on my side, I come to the awful and full conclusion as I turn away from him.

I have feelings for Harry.


	8. Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter!!! This one has a lot of hidden little things that mention what's to come, so keep an eye out.
> 
> I want to take the time to mention that as this goes on, mental health does become a pretty major problem, so if that's something that may trigger you, I think it's a good time to be warned. As much as I love having so many readers, I care too much to not give proper notice.
> 
> Triggers in this chapter are mentions of abuse, night terrors (that I probably didn't write in the most accurate sense oops) and abandonment issues.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the chapter and thank you so much for reading!!!

_**Harry's POV** _

 

God, my life just got confusing.

In the course of about five hours, my best friend asked if I was gay, I almost kissed him, and my dad hit me.

Like, how does that happen?

Right now, Peter’s asleep next to me as I lay awake, trying and failing to fall asleep, unsure of what to do, starting with my father. I mean, this isn’t the first time this has happened, but it doesn’t make it any better. Every time it happens, it makes it harder to go back; harder to brush off to some mental illness. Abuse is abuse and he lingers too close to the border of that. Sometimes I have hopes that he’ll get better and then something like this happens. He just snaps as if I’m the cause to his problems.

I mean, I know he blames me for my mother’s death, but that’s no excuse.

_It’s not like I don’t think about that myself._

Then there’s Peter, lying next to me. The way he just swooped in as if he didn’t care if he’d get hurt. It was… surprising. And when I fell on top of him, I almost couldn’t stop myself. He just looked so shocked and he was so close and I swear he looked at my lips and…

God, I almost kissed him. And that would’ve been so, _so_ stupid.

In my lab, where my father could walk in, kissing a boy I know my father would never approve of, right after a lab explosion.

Then there’s the fact that I don’t know how Peter would’ve reacted. He’s my best friend and there’s no way he likes me like that?

_Right?_

No. It’s not possible. There’s that other boy he wrote the poem about. The boy with blue eyes.

_I have blue eyes._

_Nope, I’m not going down this route._

I’m brought out of my thoughts when I hear a faint whine next to me. I turn to Peter to see him drawn into himself, still asleep. He looks pained, as if he’s hurt by his own dreams. I sit up. I’ve never noticed that Peter has nightmares. Maybe it’s not a regular thing, but right now, it looks worse than just a regular nightmare as he whimpers to himself.

Are you supposed to wake people from a night terror?

He groans just a little and I decide it’s worth a shot.

I put my hand on his shoulder and shake it just a little and he jolts up, nearly hitting his head against mine. His eyes are wide as he takes heavy breaths, staring at me.

I’ve never seen Peter like this before. He’s the most emotionally collected guy I’ve ever met. Even through all of his dysphoria and transitioning. Even when his parents and his uncle passed. He keeps a level head at all times.

So as one of his hands go to cover his eyes as he pants, I’m surprised to say the least.

“Are you…”

“Don’t s-say anything yet.” He cuts me off and his hand on his face moves to rest on my cheek as his other rests on the left side of my chest.

_What is he doing?_

He keeps his eyes closed as he does this, his hand trembling against my face as he leans his forehead on my shoulder. He takes a heaving breath as I stay there, frozen, unsure of what to do.

“I’m s-sorry.” He mutters and I move one of my hands to his waist.

“It’s okay.” I tell him and he chuckles, but it sounds forced.

“It was just a bad dream.” He says, as if assuring himself and he lifts his head, opening his eyes to look at me. His breathing is uneven as he looks at me as though he’s trying to compose himself. I try again.

“Are you okay?” I ask and he nods.

“I’m fine.” He tells me, but his voice cracks just a little and I raise an eyebrow.

“Are you?” I question and he sighs, closing his eyes. He takes a breath. His hands don’t move.

“I’ve had nightmares ever since my Uncle died. Sometimes it’s him, sometimes it’s Aunt May, my parents, Gwen, Anya, Miles.” His voice trails off and he takes a shaky breath. “Sometimes it’s you. Tonight, it was you.” He tells me and I suddenly realize why his hand is on the left side of my chest.

My heart drops.

I move my other hand so it’s on Peter’s back and use it to pull him closer to me. He doesn’t hesitate, resting his chin on my shoulder and moving the hand on my chest to my back, still on the left side. I close my eyes, my breathing not much better than his.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I whisper and he lets out a heavy sigh.

“Thank you.” He breathes and I nod, knowing his hand on my cheek feels it. He doesn’t let go of me, doesn’t speak for the rest of the night. I only know he’s asleep when his breathing becomes even, him slumping against me. I lay both of us down and he hangs onto me, the hand on my face moving so his arm can hook around my neck. I lay there with him on top of me while I process what just happened.

He had a dream I died.

And he’s been having dreams like this since Ben died? I mean, that was almost three years ago and he’s been going through this? It must’ve affected him more than he let on. I guess that should’ve been obvious because Peter frankly shows few to no personal feelings outwardly, but still.

So, I hold him close as I fall asleep, and breath.

Because after everything today, both of us just need a good night’s rest.

 

* * *

 

 

I wake up still holding Peter. It almost shocks me awake when I realize I am since we’re even more tangled than before. We’re cheek to cheek, still wrapped around each other, and legs in a scrambled pile. His breathing is even as I hold him, unsure of what to so.

It’s better than last night, I suppose. I never want him to make those pained sounds again.

I try not to think of going back to school tomorrow. I don’t know if I’m ready to face my father yet, but I know if it’s at the lab, he’ll probably be distant anyways. I probably won’t go home until late. Natasha said she needed help with classes, so I guess I’ll be around there a lot.

Still though, I need to talk to him about this. This may not be the first time, but I hope it’s the last.

Peter’s frame shifts against mine and he pulls away from me so that we’re nose to nose. His eyes are only half open, as if he’s only half awake. He offers a small smile.

“Mornin.” He says sleepily. His morning breath hits my nose violently yet part of me still wants to lean forwards and kiss him.

“You sleep well?” I ask instead and he shrugs his shoulder not smooshed against the ground.

“Yeah.” He responds, not meeting my eyes as he buries his face into my neck, uncaring of the fact we’re still tangled at all points. I decide I don’t mind.

“You have any plans today?” I ask and he chuckles.

“Showering and eating and sleeping. You?” He responds and I smile.

“Probably the same.” I conclude and he breathes a laugh against my neck. I suppress a shiver.

“Well, how about you shower first and I’ll get breakfast started.” He says and I raise an eyebrow.

“You suck at breakfast foods.” I remind him and he lifts a finger for me to see, even though he hasn’t lifted his head.

“Yes, but I’m great at cutting fruit.” He retorts and that has me laughing.

“Fair point.” I respond and neither of us move to get up. His hands are in my hair and mine are around his waist, holding him close. Our legs are still tangled and his breathing is calm. It’s close, almost intimate, as we hold each other without thinking.

The only thing that breaks us up is the phone ringing across the room. I groan and Peter laughs.

“I’m gonna head downstairs.” He tells me and pries himself off of me. He smiles and ruffles my hair before leaving the room and I blatantly stare after him. I move to my phone and pick it up, almost instantly complaining.

“Liz.” I answer shortly and she whistles.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” She responds and I glare at her through the phone.

“Is this an emergency?” I ask and she huffs.

“Yes. I don’t know what to wear.” She responds and I pause, trying to think of a good way to respond.

“Wear yoga pants and never call me before noon again.” I decide and she laughs.

“Grumpy. You in the lab? Because I can drop off coffee if you want.” She responds and I sigh.

“No, I’m still at Pete’s.” I tell her and she snickers.

“I told you you’d be there all weekend.”

“I didn’t ask for your shit this early in the morning.” I bite and I can all but hear her roll her eyes since it’s already light outside.

“I’m sorry, was I interrupting?” She asks and I don’t want to tell her tell her yes, but…

“I’m gonna shower. Hurry your ass up. Gwen is early to everything.” I respond and she shrieks into the phone as I hang up, feeling satisfied. I go into the bathroom and turn on the shower. Brushing my teeth as I wait, I decide to make my shower quick because I honestly forgot to look at the time and I don’t know how soon the other two are coming.

When I get out, I decide to forgo a shirt since I only have my button up or something of Peter’s since he’s still wearing my sweater. I pull on my underwear and towel dry my hair before going downstairs to where Peter is chopping fruit at the counter. I walk up behind him and lean my head on his shoulder.

“Your turn.” I tell him and he looks back at me with a smirk.

“Aunt May didn’t come home last night.” He says and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. I roll my eyes.

“They are adults. It’s not uncommon.” I remind him and he shrugs.

“It’s weird to think about.” He says and I nod.

“I guess so.” I respond and he moves away, taking his shoulder with him. I lean against the counter.

“I’m gonna shower now. Don’t burn the house down.” He calls as he goes towards the staircase and I chuckle.

“Look who’s talking.” I retort and his laugh echoes as he leaves the room, making me smile. I go to the fridge and pull out eggs, milk, and butter before going to the cupboard.

I’ve done this so many times that it’s almost natural. I know where everything is in the kitchen and that the back-left burner hasn’t worked in about six years.

Peter’s house became a home for me so long ago, I can’t even pinpoint when. It’s where I go when I need to get away from my dad, or really, when I want to be around wholesome people. Not just Peter, but Aunt May as well. The reason I first became friends with Peter is because my mother was friends with both Aunt May and his mother. My mother was their dance instructor as well, actually.

She was a dancer on Broadway for a while. I only got to see her in one show before her health started to decline, but I’ll always remember it. She was the happiest I’d probably ever seen her.

I mix together everything for pancakes, deciding not to follow this train of thought. I love my mother, but she’s a memory now and sometimes, it’s just easier to forget.

I start up a pot of coffee while the pan heats up. If I’m rude without coffee, then Peter is an _asshole_. When he first wakes up, he’s fine, but cranky peter is not a good Peter.

Eventually, Peter comes back down, quietly cutting fruit next to me in his underwear and my sweater draping to his thighs. He turns on music in the background and we work in silence.

I decide to make an extra batch since Gwen and Liz are coming over too, plus Peter is cutting extra fruit. We work together, but separately, as the time ticks by. He doesn’t say anything. He still seems a bit shaky from last night, but it’s probably best not to bring it up. The fact he talked about it at all last night was more than surprising.

He’s the first to break the silence, as he hands me a cup of coffee.

“Um, Harry?” He calls and I hum, not looking up from my cooking. What surprises me is when I feel the light touch of his lips against my cheek, his hand tapping the other so I don’t move away. “Thank you for last night.” He says softly and walks over to the coffee maker as my head snaps in his direction, only catching the sight of his back he pours himself a mug. I feel my face flush as a grin spreads itself on my face.

“Of course.” I respond, trying not to look too stupidly happy as I flip a pancake, my whole body feeling warmer.

_I’m such a sap._

There’s a knock on the door around the time I’m finishing up breakfast and Peter goes to answer it. Peter walks in and starts to move things to the table, meaning Gwen is probably here since she’s always the early one.

“Hey Gwen.” I call back, looking over my shoulder and she freezes in the doorway. Her eyes rake my form and I realize only then that I’m still not wearing a shirt and that Peter is still wearing mine from yesterday.

“Oh my god.” She laughs and Peter raises an eyebrow as he moves to sit at the table.

“What?” He asks innocently and I shake my head to her minutely as she looks over to me in disbelief. She rolls her eyes, flopping next to an ignorant Peter at the table.

“You two are ridiculous. Have you spent all weekend together?” She asks and I glance at Peter, who chuckles.

“Just about.” He says and I walk over, dropping off the plate of pancakes. It’s only then that Gwen gasps, standing again and leaning in to look at my face.

_Right. That._

“What happened?” She inquires and I shrug.

“Long story.” I answer shortly and luckily, a knock on the door takes her attention away from me. She gives me a long look that means we need to talk as Peter gets up and answers the door.

_Thank god for Liz._

“Peter! My sweet boy!”

_Or not._

“Hey Liz!” He returns and I know they’re probably hugging. The two of them don’t talk as often as I talk to her, but Liz grew softer to him after he left Midtown. Or more so, after he stopped being late to everything she ever planned.

As they walk in, she takes one look at me and stops at the door. She forces a smile, as if pretending there isn’t a problem, and I know she figured out what happened.

_And we’re back to thanking god for Liz._

“Since when are you this domestic? Making pancakes in your underwear.” She jokes and I roll my eyes.

“Pants are a hassle.” I retort and she smirks.

“I’d mention the shirt, but I see Peter has taken a liking to it.” She quips and Peter flushes, looking over to Gwen.

“Told you. Beats my ass like Anya.” He jokes and Gwen laughs.

“Anya would be having a field day right now.” She says and I look at Liz to see her smiling as she looks at Gwen and I can already tell where this is going.

“So you’re the girl I’ve heard so much about.” She starts and Peter gives me a look as if he’s already tired of this. I bite my lip to not laugh as Gwen stands again.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Gwen Stacy.” She tells her and extends a hand, which Liz shakes with her own.

“I’m Liz Allen.”

“A lovely name for a lovely face.” Gwen flirts and Liz flushes while Peter’s jaw drops. He stands up and walks over to me, grabbing my wrist and pulling me out of the room as I try not to laugh. Once we’re in the staircase, he snorts.

“That was fast.” He chuckles and I burst out laughing.

“Gwen has game.” I retort and he laughs, leaning his head against my shoulder, which shakes with mirth. He straightens up and I just stare at him as the light bounces off of his face and I’m reminded once again how beautiful he is and how gone I am. He takes a breath after a moment, composing himself.

“Okay.” He says and walks back in. I walk in after him and the two girls look our direction as we join them again. It’s Gwen that talks first, and her words shock me for a second.

“Peter, are you wearing pants?” She asks and I look to Peter to realize that my sweater hangs low enough that his underwear is covered. He nods.

“As comfortable as I am around you guys, I am still menstruating so underwear is a bit important.” He says and Liz snorts as Gwen’s eyes widen.

“Shit, I forgot.” She says and Peter grins.

“Trust me, it’s not offending that you forgot.” He responds happily and sits down, getting himself a plate of pancakes.

The morning passes by slowly, Peter shooting me amused looks as Gwen and Liz get to know each other and I decide that maybe the calm after the storm is the best calm.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, I was gonna kind of imply that Aunt May has been seeing this guy for awhile, but I didn't think it was that important. I just think she's been holding off on telling Peter because it's a touchy subject for both of them.
> 
> Also, lets be real, Peter is totally obvious when he likes someone. Fight me.


	9. Danger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! I want to start by saying thank you to all of you who have been reading this so diligently! I love working with these characters and I love that ya'll seem to be enjoying it.
> 
> Now, this chapter is a bit dark in Peter's head and it will get worse from here. A fair warning. Also, Norman is fucking bonkers.
> 
> AVENGERS ARE INTRODUCED YES.
> 
> Okay, enough of me talking. I hope you all enjoy the chapter and thank you for reading!!
> 
> Triggers: Minor character death, angst

_**Peter's POV** _

 

“I blame you.” I tell Miles as I swing up to him. I'm doing a morning patrol before classes and he decided to join me, so you best _believe_ he's getting an earful. I cross my arms and glare at him.

“For what?” He asks, tilting his head and I groan.

“You told me I was overthinking things which made me think even more and I don’t like the conclusions I made.” I pout and he tilts his head condescendingly.

“Let me guess. You looked again and you saw something.” He suggests and I scowl.

“Maybe.” I respond without an ounce of maturity and he chuckles.

“You going to tell him?” He asks and that has my attitude comes to a halt.

“How did you know it was Harry?” I ask and he scoffs.

“Peter, who else would it be? He’s your best friend. The only thing he doesn’t know about you is that you’re Spider-Man.” He points out and I try not to frown at that thought.

Right. _That._

After all this time, I still haven’t gotten myself to tell him. It’s just… something about the way he talks about Spider-Man, as if he already _knows_ that he’s awful. What would Harry do if he found out that that _he_ is _me_?

“I’m not telling him.” I conclude and I can see him frown through his suit.

“Why not?” He asks and I just think. I think about Aunt May and everything that comes with her not knowing. I think about college and how I have no idea what I’m doing. I think about his how traditional father is already out to kill me.

_Maybe I do think too much._

“Why mess with what I have now?” I respond simply and he sighs loudly.

“Well, at least it’s progress.” He mutters and moves on to the next roof. I frown and follow after him.

School goes by quickly after out patrol, Gwen quirking an eyebrow when she skims my poem, mumbling about the romantic aspect. She doesn’t outwardly question it, though, just giving me a small nod and I frown when I realize why.

She probably thinks that’s my secret.

God, I wish it was that simple. I wish I was a normal teenager that could keep secrets about stupid crushes as if that’s the biggest issue in their life. As if being trans wasn’t hard enough, I have to be a superhero on top of that.

I sigh. It’s not that I don’t love being Spider-Man. I just hate how much it requires me to lie. My secret identity makes life far harder than I ever thought it would.

Maybe I should talk to her about Harry. Just so she knows that I’m not trying to be secretive. Plus, I guess I could use some advice on…

_On what, exactly? I’m not actually planning on doing anything about it, even if I did kiss his cheek._

That dream scared me out of it enough. If any of my enemies found out that I had feeling for him, they’d use him against me. Hell, they already have done that before, probably noticing that I always go out of my way to save him, even if he does yell at me for it.

God, he doesn’t know I’m Spider-Man. And he _hates_ Spider-Man.

“You could melt the wall with your eyes alone.” Gwen cuts me out of my thoughts and I realize I was scowling at nothing. I shake my head.

“Sorry. Just distracted.” I tell her and she chuckles.

“I bet.” She says and I raise an eyebrow.

“Why do you bet?” I ask and she shrugs a shoulder, looking down her nose at me.

“You tell me.” She responds condescendingly and I pause.

_…She already knows, doesn’t she?_

Gwen is a smart girl, and she’s very good at picking us on people’s emotions and feelings. I don’t even know why I’m surprised that she knows.

“How did you figure it out?” I ask and she feigns innocent.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. You haven’t told me anything.” She retorts and I snort.

“I guess I deserve this.” I reason and she nods.

“Now, tell me why you’re so distracted, Peter.” She commands and I bite my lip.

“I like Harry.” I admit and it feels weird to say it out loud; like it makes it real. She grins.

“Good, because you two were all over each other yesterday.” She responds nonchalantly and I nearly choke on my spit.

“Excuse me?” I squeak, noting only after people turn to us that I probably said that too loud. She laughs in response.

“Like when you put your feet on his legs and he just put his hands on them without thinking. And whenever you two left the room, you were generally holding hands.” She points out and I think back to yesterday morning and…

Well, she’s not wrong.

“Oh god.” I groan and she pats my shoulder.

“It’s okay. It was cute.” She says as if it makes it better and I frown.

“But I don’t want it to go anywhere. And if I’ve been this obvious, what if he knows? And I bet he doesn’t even have feelings for me back and…”

“You think he doesn’t have feelings for you?” She asks and I shrug.

“Well, why would I?” I ask honestly and she scoffs as the bell rings.

“Peter Parker, you’re oblivious.” She says and grabs my bag before walking out of the room, leaving me confused

_There’s no way he could…_

It doesn’t matter. I’m not gonna do this. He’s my best friend and that’s it.

_That’s it._

 

* * *

 

“Mr. Stark?” I say as I open the door to Tony’s office. I told him I needed to meet with him as soon as I got the Jackal serum, and this is the first night Miles has taken back patrol since my period ended, so I have the time.

“Kid, I’ve told you to call me Tony too many times now.” He calls as he looks down at a file and I peak into headquarters and I shrug.

“Still probably won’t.” I reply and he rolls his eyes.

“I thought you were bringing Spidey 2.0.” He says and I shake my head.

“He was busy being Spidey 2.0.” I jokingly retort, which isn’t a lie. Miles had a project and an appointment with his dad before patrol. He begged me to wait to go, but I told him this was urgent.

And that karma is a bitch.

“So, what is the pressing matter?” He asks and I sigh.

“Norman Osborn has been working with the Jackel Serum. His students have been running tests on it and he seems rather… protective of it.” I tell him, recalling how he hit Harry over the stupid vial. Tony stands and sighs.

“I can have Black Widow get a sample of the serum.” He tells me and I shake my head.

“No need.” I tell him and pull the sample out of my pocket. He raises an eyebrow.

“Impressive.” He says and just as Captain America and Black Widow walk in, though she’s not wearing her mask. She looks familiar, actually. They both stop when they see me, only Captain smiling.

“Oh right, Spider-Boy’s here. Hey!” He says and walks over to high five me and Mr. Stark shakes his head.

“Spider- _Man_.” He corrects him and he shrugs.

“He’s like eighty years younger than me. It’s boy.” He retorts with a roll of his eyes and Black Widow sighs before turning to me.

“You broke into Oscorps?” She asks me and I nod.

“It’s not hard.” I brush off as if my alter-ego isn’t the only reason I could do that. She nods.

“Not bad. That bastard Norman keeps a tight watch.” She swears and I raise an eyebrow.

“You know him?” I ask and she shrugs.

“His wife taught me to dance.” She tells me and I pause, remembering where I’ve seen her before.

“That's why you're familiar. You’re Natasha Romanova.” I recall and everyone’s head snaps in my direction. Her eyes widen as Captain steps forward.

“How did you know her?” He asks and I swallow. What’s the least revealing answer I can give?

“My aunt danced with you. She wasn’t nearly as successful as you are though. She was much older.” I tell him and she tilts her head.

“What’s her name?” She asks and I chuckle.

“Nice try, but I’m not giving away my identity.” I tell her and she rolls her eyes, but there’s a small smile on her face.

“At least it’s you and not that buddy of yours. I found out his identity quickly.” She says and the other two look as surprised as I do. My eyes narrow.

“What’s his name?”

“Miles Morales.” She tells me and I whistle.

“Not bad.” I respond and she shrugs.

“I’m good at my job for a reason. Don’t make me try to discover you again. I’m sure you’ve left some holes in that identity of yours.” She informs me, taking a step closer. “Like the fact you can infiltrate Oscorps even though they have surveillance specifically set for you.” She tells me and I cross my arms. I may not like lying to Gwen, but at least here I’m against someone just as willing.

“Just because you know what high school I go to doesn’t mean you know who I am. Os Academy has over two-thousand students.”

“And only twenty got access to the serum.” She tells me with a smirk that I match as her eyes dilate just barely.

“You got nothing. You pulled that number out of your butt.” I retort and she pauses, looking taken aback.

“Am I arguing with a kid who won’t say the word ass?” She asks and Tony chuckles.

“He’s still not even eighteen.” He says and Captain laughs as well.

“Geez. He’s gonna give us a run for our money.” He jokes and I shrug.

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure you’re still gonna out live me.” I retort and he tilts his head before shrugging.

“You’re probably not wrong.” He says and I chuckle.

“I have to go. I have an expo project to work on.” I tell them and Black Widow raises an eyebrow.

“What’s your project?” She asks and I shake my head.

“I don’t give in that easy.” I retort and she frowns, having been seen through as I walk out. I’m not even out of the building for two minutes before I get a call on my phone.

“He-”

“Are you in your suit still?” Miles asks and I frown.

“What happened?” I ask and shoot my web to the top of the building next to me, coming to the top of it.

“It’s Oscorps again, but it seems like there’s something wrong. I got a distress signal from there and it seems like the radiation is still going on.” He tells me and I frown. After this past weekend and everything that happened, I really don’t want to think about how much Oscorps seems to hate me. As well as Harry.

“On it.” I respond and hang up because what other choice do I have? I web my way there as quickly as possible, instantly noting that my spider-sense goes off, but not in one particular direction. The building itself seems to be undergoing some kind of damage, but from the inside.

_No wonder Miles got a distress call. This place feels like a war zone._

I sneak into the building, crawling through the ducts. I’ve done this enough in the past that I know where to go from here, moving slowly as to not be heard.

What’s difficult is fighting my spider-sense as I go in, ever hair on my body telling me to run the other way.

Whatever he’s working on, it’s not safe for anyone else in here.

I find the duct to his office and glance in, surprised by what I find. It’s Norman and his team, and while it’s filled with radiation, it’s the room itself that surprises me.

It looks like a testing facility for a chemical as all of them examine that same green looking sample and…

_The Jackal serum!_

The atmosphere is tense as two people kneel next to a man who’s on the ground, screaming. The other’s look at Norman is shock as he holds a syringe, stained green. The man who's screaming is practically convulsing, unable to control his movements before he suddenly goes limp, flailing limbs falling to the floor.

Is he...

 

“This is getting out of hand.” Toomes says and Norman lets out a low chuckle.

“No, it’s not. We’ll just have to lower the amount of radiation that goes into the…”

“Norman, he’s dead!” Smythe shouts at him and I cover my mouth so I don’t gasp.

What are they planning? And what killed that man?

“When you all signed your contracts, you accepted that you would give your body and soul to the cause.” He demands and my eyes widen. Is he really this heartless?

“Either pull the plug on this or regulate it. No more radiation.” Smythe argues and Norman pinches the bridge of his nose.

“We need the gamma radiation for size.” He insists and Toomes stands.

“No, you don’t. The Jackal didn’t use it, so we can find another way. We’re grasping at straws here and your son made more progress than the rest of us have and he doesn’t even know what we’re doing.” He says and I raise an eyebrow. So that is what Harry had in his lab.

“Maybe we should tell him…”

“No!” Norman shouts, startling all of us. I try not to jump at the echoing sound. Norman shakes his head. “He can’t know, yet. Not until we reach the next step.” He says and I swallow.

Why do they need Harry for whatever this is? That venom killed that man!

 _I should probably go,_ I think as I watch them pick up the dead body to be moved. I continue quietly through the ducts, noting that I’m passing by Harry’s lab. I glance in to see him packing his bag, looking like he’s about to leave.

_If he knows anything, I need to know, and I can’t ask as Peter._

I open up his duct and he jumps, rolling his eyes as he sees me.

“Do you want me to call security? Because I really don’t have time to deal with you right now.” He tells me as I land on his floor.

“Why is your father using the Jackel venom?” I ask and he scoffs.

“I have to go.” He says and I frown.

“That stuff is dangerous, and gamma radiation is…”

“I don’t know anything about gamma radiation. I’ve been working on the serum as homework. Testing it properties.” He tells me with a sigh. He pulls his bag up higher on his shoulder. “Now like I said, I don’t want to deal with you or what my dad will do to you, so get the fuck out.”

“What did you find?” I push and he groans.

“That it’s not safe. I labeled it as a hazardous waste. I mean, look at what it did to Raymond Warren. He’s insane and his genetic makeup is permanently damaged.” He says, taking a step closer to me. “If you plan on using it, you better think twice. We got rid of all of ours. Don’t be the idiot that brings something back from the dead.” He says and storms out of the lab, leaving me standing there in confusion.

_But his father was just working on it._

They did say he didn’t know, but why are they keeping it from him?

_And what does it have to do with him?_

I shake my head as I return to the duct, retreating. This is why I can’t even begin to think of Harry in that way. This weekend meant nothing because I know we can’t work out.

It doesn’t matter that I like him. I’d just put him in danger.


	10. Command

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have four things to say going into this chapter.
> 
> 1.) Yes, Ben is named after Uncle Ben, but he's a minor character. Also, sorry he's a butt.  
> 2.) Tessa is named after Tom Holland's dog. No shame.  
> 3.) Triggers are Norman's transphobic ass.  
> 4.) I hope you enjoy and thank you for reading!

_**Harry's POV** _

 

Avoiding my dad after everything that happened in the lab was a full-time job. I spent the weekend with Peter and Aunt May and did my best to be out of the house at all times during the week. Natasha has appreciated me being around to help with dance classes when I’m not in the lab. It’s Friday today and I’m in class, trying not to scowl as Ben slacks off on his fouettes again.

“Come on, guys, you’re better than this.” I scold for the second time tonight. He flirts with the girls and doesn’t try to dance and I’m getting tired of it. Most of the other guys could try harder, only getting two rotations in before stepping down.

It doesn’t help that I’m already angry. Seeing Spider-Man always puts me in a foul mood. I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him.

It’s not even as much about him these days. In the four years he’s been around, thing have calmed down a little, so it’s not like before when I felt like my life was constantly in danger. It’s just seeing how riled up my dad gets over him. It gets tiring.

But bringing the Jackel serum back is crossing a line. At least my father took my notes to heart and got rid of it. Warren was a madman and his projects were proof of that. I can’t imagine what a second Jackel would be like.

All I know is that things are far less complicated when Spider-Man isn’t around.

Tessa giggles from across the room and I turn to see Ben not even dancing anymore. I scoff loudly.

“You’re really not good enough to be slacking off this much.” I say, uncaring of how the others gape at me because I’m not in a good mood and it’s not like I can use the excuse that he’s younger and less mature because he’s my age. He needs to step it up.

“And you are?” He asks and I roll my eyes.

“Even if I’m not, I at least work for what I’ve got.” I respond and he laughs.

“Wow, you spend your Friday nights bossing around people your age to feel superior. I wish I was as cool as you.” He sasses and I raise an eyebrow.

“You don’t think dancing is cool?” I ask, finding my selling point.

“ _Your kind_ of dancing just isn’t cool.” He says and I laugh as people around us “ooo”.

“And yours is? Because you’ve messed up your positions three times tonight and it’s not very impressive.” I tell him and he puts his hands up in defense.

“It’s not like this matters. I’m here to learn how to dance like a man, which you obviously couldn’t help me with.” He tells me and I laugh.

“If you care about being cool so much, then how about you have a dance off with me, _since_ you can probably beat me.” I smirk and he lets out a ‘tch’.

“Let’s go.” He says and I turn to Liz and toss her my phone.

“Pick a song.” I say and she picks an upbeat song with a heavy guitar base. It has more of a Latin tone to it and I can already see Ben smirking as he steps up, which confuses me. Mostly because this isn’t a good song for a dance off like I would’ve thought, but as I look at Liz, she winks at me and I get it.

This isn’t about dancing. This is about his pride.

I realize I wasn’t even paying attention to him when he points at me for my turn. The crowd is still decently quiet minus a few people who normally side with him anyways.

I walk up to Tessa and pull her into the circle that the other have created around us. I spin her around multiple times and smirk at Ben.

“That’s how many fouettes you’re supposed to do.” I say and pull Tessa into my arms. She looks shocked as one of my hands find her hip, pulling her close. She flushes as she moves with me, following every move I lead her to. Even when I lift her into the air in a lift I haven’t taught the class yet, she follows. I end it with a dip and look at Ben who’s staring at me with wide eyes and see that I won.

Tessa stands back up in a daze and I walk over to Ben, digging the tip of my finger into his chest.

“If you _actually_ want to be popular with the ladies, you should learn to be a stronger dancer. It’s not very attractive with you step on her feet and your arms are limper than your dick.” I say and half the room screams as I say it and I silently accept my victory. I turn on my heel. “Now get the fuck out of my class and come back next week if you want to work.” I say and look toward where Liz is standing with my phone to see Natasha next to her.

“Everyone else get water.” She smirks at me as I walk over. “Your class?” She repeats and I roll my eyes.

“I took one week off and you’re not even helping me this week. It’s mine.” I tell her and she nods.

“That lift was good.” She tells me and leave the room without another word, which is basically the closest thing to a praise I can get from her. Liz grins at me as she hands me my phone.

“Well that was eventful.” She says and I roll my eyes again.

“About time someone put him in his place.” I respond and she chuckles

“Tessa totally has a crush on you now.” Liz says next to me and I look over to see Tessa look away a little too quickly for my liking.

“Well she’s going to be disappointed.” I respond and she chuckles.

“Hell yeah, she is since you’re gonna be my partner for the final recital.” She says and I raise an eyebrow.

“Isn’t that favoritism since I teach this class?” I ask and she snorts.

“We all know I’m your favorite, plus we have an odd number of people.” She points out and I frown, remembering that most people in here have already partnered up.

For our senior ballet class, we require a solo and a pair dance. I normally don’t do recitals since my dad doesn’t know I still dance and, being his son, it would end up coming back to him one way or another.

“I’ll think about it.” I respond and she grins.

“Good, cause I already have ideas.” She tells me and for some reason, I have a feeling I’ve already dug my grave.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“I literally have no idea what I’m doing.” I groan and Peter chuckles from behind me. It’s We’ve been working for hours on how to make our design safe and it’s proving to be difficult.

“You’re just trying to neutralize the currents.” He responds and I work to figure out the new wavelength.

“But the currents are even. How do we neutralize currents that are already neutral?” I ask and Peter pauses.

“That’s it.” He says and takes my pen out of my hand, scribbling down notes. “We shouldn’t use waves at all. The brain creates them already, so if we just make those stronger, then it could work.” He explains and I raise an eyebrow.

“And how do we do that without destroying the balance of the brain.” I ask and he grins down at me.

“We use a magnetic field.” He explains and my eyes widen.

“Oh my god, you’re a genius.” I respond and stand up. He leans down and writes more notes. “Plus, the magnified waves could be converted into microwaves for the projection.” I point out and he nods.

“This is great. I think we finally got it!” He exclaims and stands up, grinning at me.

“Not gonna lie, I wasn’t sure if this was going to work.” I tell him and he laughs.

“Same here.” He admits and I snort. Just then, the door opens and my dad walks in. Peter takes a step forward as my dad chuckles.

“Calm down, Tera.” He says and I watch as Peter bristles at the use of his dead name.

“What do you want, Dad?” I ask to diffuse the tension and he tilts his head.

“Can’t I come visit my son?” He asks and I look over at Peter, who suddenly looks conflicted. I know what he’s probably thinking. My dad is very hot and cold, so I’ve grown used to this, but Peter doesn’t get how these things go.

I turn back to my project.

“I’ll be home tonight. Just go for now.” I tell him, knowing that that’s all he needs to hear. He hums.

“Good. I’ll see you tonight, son. Good to see you too, Tera.” He mocks and leaves without another word. When I turn to Peter, he’s taking a deep breath, his eyes closed.

“Pete…”

“I’m fine.” He responds, turning to me with a forced smile. It makes me frown.

“Peter.”

“I should probably go.” He says and grabs his backpack, but I step over and grab his hand.

“I’m sorry he’s like that.” I tell him and he sighs, turning towards me.

“I’m fine. I should go, though. Miles and I have a project due soon and we’re behind.” He tells me and I frown.

“If you’re sure.” I say and he smiles at me, a little more genuine as he takes a step forward, placing his other hand on my cheek and tracing my bruised cheekbone with his thumb. He looks like he wants to say something, but thinks against it.

“I am. Thanks for caring.” He responds with a faint blush. I let his hand drop as he backs away, waving a little and leaving me smiling stupidly.

“I always care about you.” I tell him and he flushes, his smile now completely honest.

“I’ll see you.” He says and hikes his backpack strap up higher before turning and walking out, leaving me grinning as I work on our notes. Once I finish for the night, I hesitate.

I haven’t been home before late at night in a week, but I guess I don’t have a choice anymore.

As I get home and try to make my way into my room, my father calls me into his office. I walk in, frowning as he works at his desk. _Typical_ , my mind bites before I can think to stop it.

“Harry, how is your Stark project going?” He asks and I pause. Is that what this is about? Is he just going to act like nothing happened?

_No. He can’t keep doing this._

“You can’t just do that, Dad.” I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

“Do what?” He asks and I scoff.

“Hit me and then act like nothing happened? Call Peter by his dead name? Any of these things ring a bell?” I ask and he frowns.

“I am sorry for reprimanding you so harshly, but I will not apologize for calling Tera by her name.” He responds and I sigh, closing my eyes.

“I thought you were past this.” I respond and he lets out a loud breath.

“And I thought I told you to spend less time with her.” He responds and I open my eyes just to glare at him as he looks up at me from his desk.

“He’s a boy!”

“She’s confused, Harry, and I don’t think you should spend as much time with her as you do.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“And why is that?” I ask and he scoffs.

“Because a boy at your age shouldn’t be exposed to that kind of confusion.” He responds and something in me burns at that. I walk up to his desk and slam my hand against it.

“Peter is my best friend. Peter. He is _not_ confused and he is _not_ confusing me. You may dictate my school work and what experiments I do, but you can’t dictate my private life.” I demand and his eyes widen minutely and I turn on my heel and go to the door. I stop just before I leave.

“Mom would’ve called him Peter.” I let that burn settle as I leave the room, slamming the door behind me.


	11. Voice of Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was way too much fun to write. Enjoy a really awkward Peter and Harry having no idea what to do about it.
> 
> I don't believe this chapter has any major triggers, but keep an eye out. This is the last fluffy chapter for a bit, but it's pretty damn fluffy.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

_**Peter's POV** _

 

“And then he calls me Tera. That’s my dead name.” I rant to Miles as I shoot my web at a random trashcan. That’s a line that Norman hasn’t crossed for years and I’m pissed.

Miles seems surprised by my outburst, and to be honest, I am too. I’m angry that Norman can rile me up so easily, and that only serves to make me _more_ mad.

Miles takes to it well, though, trying to calm me down.

“Does it still bother you? Not the name thing; that’s a dick move. But, like, body image stuff?” He asks and I sigh.

“The spider venom must have reacted to the surplus testosterone from my injections, because it made my physique more masculine, but all of last week, if I had worn my suit, I would’ve had problems.” I explain and he hums. I decide to leave out the fact I put my suit back on to follow Aunt May and her boyfriend because I didn’t trust him. But he was respectable, even if he was too close.

I refused to look at myself, though. It was already hard not wearing a packer, but the discomfort of both a pad and a tampon in spandex was enough of a reminder.

“So basically, Norman picked an even worse time.” He reasons and I nod. He hums. “So, not that I don’t like that you come to me with this stuff, but why didn’t you just talk to Harry about this? He knows all about this and none of it is spider related.” He points out and I shrug.

“It’s his dad. I can’t ask him to pick sides.” I point out and I take his silence as an agreement. I shoot my web in the distance and sigh. “This is stupid. I have better things to worry about.” I bite and he sighs.

“I mean, not really. He’s you enemy and he has it out for both parts of you.” He reminds me and I close my eyes.

“I know, but that doesn’t make me any less angry.” I grumble and Miles leans back against the roof next to me.

“I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen you this angry.” He points out and I shrug.

“I’m normally pretty good, but I’ve been told I’m pretty terrifying when I’m mad.” I quip and he snorts.

“I’ve always wanted to ask someone without them getting offended or weirded out, but what’s it like to have a period? Like, your uterine lining shedding? That’s fucking metal.” He says and I bark out a laugh.

“I guess you could say that. I’ve kind of found that I get more emotional after I started taking testosterone.” I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

“Strange.” He says and I shake my head.

“Not really. Men are more prone to hormone imbalances. Man periods are very real. _You_ just don’t bleed. All of the feelings and none of the metal.” I tell him and he laughs.

“I can see it.” He tells me, leaning close to me. “I watched Marley and Me with Gwen and cried my eyes out. She laughed at me and I wouldn’t talk to her for a week.” He tells me and I smile.

“That sounds like a typical day.” I quip and he elbows me.

“I’m very manly.”

“Men can cry.” I remind him and he glances off to the side.

“Then I may have cried during Up too.” He tells me and I shrug.

“Who didn’t, man?” I retort and he chuckles.

“True.” He responds and we just lay on the roof in silence.

Lately, the town has been almost too quiet. All of Norman’s accomplices are at a cease fire and it’s more worrying than it should be, especially with everything they’re working on. I don’t mention it to Miles, though, other than actual developments. The minute I do that, I know something will come up and I’m not ready for that.

“So, how’s poetry going?” He asks to keep the conversation away from that and I sigh.

“My grade is rising.” I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

“Really?” He sounds surprised and I roll my eyes.

“Yeah. Apparently, I can’t read it, but I can write it.” I tell him. I was still surprised to get an A back on the assignment. He chuckles.

“Maybe being in touch with your emotional side has been good.” He reasons and I shrug.

“I don’t know if I’d go that far.” I respond and he shrugs.

“And how is the whole Harry thing?” He asks and I frown. The “” is honestly a mess because every time I’m with him, I think _maybe_ we could work and _maybe_ I can try but then I’m reminded that his father _maybe_ wants me dead and _maybe_ planning to use his son to do so. Plus, the fact I had to half-lie to get out of his lab today. Sure, Miles and I _had_ a project, but we finished it days ago.

“What about you and Anya?” I interrupt and he allows me to change the subject.

“We’re good. She’s stressing out about our project, though.” He tells me and I frown.

“What is it?” I ask and he shrugs.

“It’s supposed to be a machine that transmits sounds into smells, but it’s proving to be harder than expected.” He tells me and I nod.

“Sounds complicated, but you two are good with mechanical manipulation, so I’m sure it’ll work out.” I tell him and he smiles.

“You too, with whatever the hell it is you and Harry are working on. It seemed confusing.” He says and I shrug.

“I think we have it figured out, but I’m not sure how it will turn out.” I tell him and he turns to me.

“Well, you have over a month still.” He reminds me and I nod.

“True, but I’m getting antsy.” I admit and I know I don’t have to tell Miles what I mean for him to know what I’m referring to.

“I don’t blame you. I am too.” He tells me, looking off the edge of the roof. “All that plus the fact that you and Harry are a thing.” He says and my head darts in his direction.

“Since when do we qualify to be a 'thing'?” I ask and he snorts.

“Anya told me you kissed his cheek.”

“I told her that in _confidence_.”

“Yeah, but we’re dating, so naturally, I heard about it. Plus, the fact that all three of your closest friends could tell before you could doesn’t speak well for how obvious you two have been.” He tells me and I scowl. I told Miles because I was mad at him, but Gwen and Anya both figured it out on their own. When Anya confronted me, Gwen was there so I couldn’t deny anything.

The interrogation lasted for about an hour.

“It’s not something I have time to think about right now.” I remind him and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Peter, we’re all going to be leaving at the end of this year so if it’s gonna happen, it needs to happen soon. _Before_ shit hits the fan.” He points out and I shake my head.

“I don’t want to bring him down with me.” I admit and he shrugs.

“Let him decide, then.”

 

 

* * *

 

  

Uncle Ben had a saying. “You can’t be passive and get what you want.”

I was never a fan of the saying. While I don’t consider myself passive by any means, I also don’t consider myself very assertive. I always kind of figured that if something was important enough, you’d know what to do.

But right now, I wonder if he’s right as he sits in Joe’s while I’m in line because I have no idea what to do. I know I like Harry, but it’s just so messy either way. If I ignore it, I have to just get over it. But if I go for it…

I take a breath. Am I even considering it now?

I mean, he’s my best friend. It could ruin everything but at the same time, it could make everything even better. He is my best friend and he’s always been there for me.

_Am I considering this?_

I might be.

“That line was long.” I complain as I sit next to him, pulling out my notebook. It’s been a couple of weeks since he spent the weekend and my house and we’re either in his lab or off doing our own thing. But today, there are some equations that we need to work through for the project, so we decided a change in scenery would be nice.

“So…” He starts, and I look up to see him tapping his fingers together nervously. I raise an eyebrow.

“So?” I ask jovially to defuse the tension, but he only looks more nervous. I frown. “Everything okay?” I ask and he forces a smile and looks down abruptly at his notebook, pieces of his dark hair falling into his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. So, the project.” He tries to distract me and I chuckle at the obvious display.

“You sure you’re okay?” I ask and push the hair out of his face, making him look up at me. Those blue eyes meet mine for a second before he speaks, and what he says is not what I expect.

“God, you’re cute.”

_Wait, what?_

I watch as his eyes widen as if he didn’t expect the words to come out and I pause.

_He thinks I’m… cute?_

I know I’m flushing as I chuckle, not really sure how to respond. But he laughs, looking back down. “Sorry, that was weird.” He says and I answer before I can second guess myself.

“You’re… not too hard to look at yourself.” I say and oh my god, is that really the only think I could think to respond? Is that me flirting? Am I really this bad at it?

“Not too hard to look at, huh?” He responds, looking at me again, leaning in a bit as he smirks.

_Oh my god, he’s flirting back._

“No, I wouldn’t say so.” I respond and my voice cracks obviously, but I try again. “I’d argue the opposite, actually.” I admit and wow, I’m terrible at this. I glance off to the side, because my heart is pounding as he raises an eyebrow and I can’t handle it. I really have no idea what I’m doing, but Harry is actually flirting with me and I probably shouldn’t be as happy as I am about it. I have to stop trying to deny the fact I like him.

_Let him decide._

Why is Miles always my voice of reason?

I bite my lip nervously and his eyes move to it, making both of us flush even more.

I feel stupid for how much I want to pull my hand, still in his hair, to bring him closer. How much I want to kiss him. How much my mind fights the idea when I’m not with him, but when he’s here I just ignore every warning call. Every time I try to think about the things that annoy me about Harry, I find them to be microscopic compared to him as a whole. I mean, he’s my best friends. I’ve come to terms with everything that bothers me about him a long time ago.

I like him. I really can’t deny it anymore.

He takes my hand that’s in his hair and holds it. I feel my eyes widen as he starts leaning towards me minutely.

“Well I happen to quite enjoy looking at you.” He tells me and oh my god, I am not equipped to handle this. His blue eyes have a bit of mirth in them and I find myself smiling.

And maybe I am stupid, for raising an eyebrow as I flirt back, but I decide that it’s worth it. Because being with Harry calms me down and this doesn’t have to be serious. It can just be us, wherever that may lead.

“Is that so?” My voice just barely drawls out and Harry seems surprised by that, flushing a bit.

“Well I did just blurt out that I think you’re cute.” He chuckles and I find myself grinning

“Yeah, you did.” I respond, glancing nervously to the ground. Because he called me cute and while he did apologize, he didn’t take it back.

“About time you two started dating.” A voice says from next to us and we both jump, looking up to see Joe set down our coffees at the table. I stammer.

“W-we’re not-”

“Uh-huh.” He looks pointedly at the fact the two of us are still holding hands. Harry laughs as Joe walks away.

“Apparently Joe knows I think you’re cute too.” He faux whispers and I chuckle.

“Shut up.” I respond and turn back to my notebook since I’m not really ready to deal with anything else involving that. “The project.”

“Right. The project.” He says and starts explaining his ideas while we sit, drinking our coffee.

He doesn’t let go of my hand.


	12. Pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm genuinely confused as to how this got 1,000 hits, but I want to thank you all so much because I'm shook. If ya'll are willing to stay for the long haul, I have a lot planned out. I'm currently at about 80,000 words and I plan on adding a lot more. 
> 
> Side note: chapters 13 & 14 will be posted this week and I'll be posting them at the same time because they're both fairly short.
> 
> The triggers in this chapter are betrayal and emotional abuse. It's not fun.
> 
> I hope you guy enjoy the chapter and thank you again so much!!!

_**Harry's POV** _

 

Peter flirting back with me was probably better than anything I expected.

You know how you imagine someone in your head and you see them as suave and smooth? With honey-like words that come naturally? Peter is not like that at all. 

Peter Parker, my best friend who I have been pining after for years, flirted with me.

_And he was terrible at it._

I think that’s the best part. The fact he looked like he has no idea what he was doing but he did it anyways and the fact he has way more balls than I’ve had the whole time I’ve liked him.

I never thought that I had a chance with him. Never would’ve even guessed, but right now, he’s leaning against me as he works on homework in the Horizon lab and I read, and he’s flushed as he glances up at me every now and then. It’s like the world has turned upside down because I actually have a chance.

And frankly, as cruel at it may be, it’s nice to know I can get a rise out of him. Whenever I find a particularly romantic line of my book, I whisper it into his ear and he flushes and glares at me with a knowing smirk and it make my heart do stupid things.

The only person who seems to have picked up on this is Gwen, who keeps shooting me suspicious glances every time I whispers something in his ear. It’s not like it’s necessary. The lab is booming today with people working on their projects, and Miles and Anya’s is music themed, so it’s pretty loud, but even so, every ten minutes my lips brush against his ear as I talk. And I _know_ he knows what I’m doing, always leaning a bit closer or looking at my mouth when he’s not suppressing a shiver and I can’t believe that I’m causing this, but it’s a little amusing.

I lean over to whisper to him at the same time he does and I’m met with a nose bonking against mine and a forehead crashing as well.

“Fuck.” I groan as Pete’s face flushed. I look up to see Liz and Gwen looking at us with wide eyes.

“Did you just…”

“No.” Peter cuts Liz off as I rub my forehead.

“I don’t believe you.” Gwen says and I snort.

“You really think I would kiss him for the first time in the middle of Horizon’s lab?” I ask and I feel my eyes widen as I realize what I just said.

Oh god. I just implied that I want to kiss him.

Gwen’s eyes widen as well as Liz barks out a laugh. I turn to Peter to see him blushing darkly as his head snaps over to me.

“I… um…” I try and he laughs, leaning in and kissing my cheek before settling on my shoulder, trying to go back to my homework as Gwen and Liz gape at us.

I share a startled look with them before leaning my head on top of his as I go back to my book, satisfied with how that turned out and grinning like an idiot. Peter must remember what he was going to say as he turns back to me, whispering.

“Isn’t Midtown’s homecoming this weekend?” He asks and I nod.

“Yup. Got my pink tie and everything.” I respond and he glances over to Liz and Gwen, who are whispering to each other and glancing at us the same way we are.

“Why doesn’t she ask her?” He asks and I scowl. The thought had already come up, but since she doesn’t go to Midtown, she’s not allowed to go last minute.

“Permission forms were already due. Besides, now that she has a crush, she’s actually nervous for the first time in her life.” I tell him and he nods.

“Makes sense. So, if the expo is in three weeks, should we work to finish it next week?” He asks and I shrug.

“I mean, we have time. It’s almost done.” I remind him. We’ve even gotten the projections set up, though we haven’t tested it, but we still can’t prove that it can reach memories that can’t be normally accessed.

“Yeah, but that’ll be November and final projects are gonna take at least three weeks.” He reminds me and I nod

“True.” I respond, sighing. “How about Monday then?” I suggest and he nods.

"Okay. Are you and Liz going out after the dance or are you free?" I ask and he shrugs.

"I think she's hanging out with Gwen actually." I tell him and he laughs a little. Gwen and Liz have been hanging out quite a lot since working together. I mean, the project alone take a lot of work, but they also spend time together while not working. Only problem is that neither of them are willing to make the first move.

I guess that sounds a bit familiar though.

"Well, I should be free late that night if you wanna hang out?" He asks and something about the way his eyes flicker to my lips makes my heart leap in my chest.

"How about I take you out?" I ask and his eyes widen, as if he didn't expect me to be that direct. I try again. "We can grab some food or something. It is a Saturday night, after all." I add and he seems a little more content with that, still flushing though.

"Okay. Call me when you leave the dance." He says and I smile.

“Sounds like a plan." I tell him and he goes back to his homework, a smile of his own on his face and I try not to look too stupid as I stretch my arm so it's around him. He settles a bit closer and I sigh.

_I think I just asked him on a date. And I think he just said yes._

Yeah, so much for not looking stupid, because I know I'm grinning like an idiot as Liz looks over at me with a wink. I flush a bit, sliding down a bit on my chair. Peter leans his head into the curve of my neck and it calms me a bit.

It’s funny, though, how even when you’re calm, you can be unnerved. It’s not even Peter laying against me or the wandering eyes from the room. Something in the pit of my stomach feels wrong, but I shouldn’t be surprised, what with Midtown's homecoming. I haven’t been to a real dance since freshman year and that didn’t really end.

I guess I just have to hope this one ends better.

 

* * *

 

I’ve never been one for school dances. They always seem to lead to something dramatic happening. Maybe it’s because I live in New York, which seems to be the hub for unnatural disasters, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. Going with Liz isn’t something I’m nervous about, but I find myself antsy regardless. I fix my pink tie in the mirror as my father walks into the room. He shoots me a quizzical as I turn to him.

“Pink?”

“Don’t ask.” I answer and he smiles.

“How are you doing?” He asks and I try not to look to surprised.

“I’m fine. Going to homecoming at Midtown tonight.” I tell him and he nods.

“I’m sure the lady you’re going with is excited. You’re really becoming a fine young man.” He tells me and my heart clenches.

My father and I barely speak these days. He yells at school and he’s silent at home. Hell, just a few weeks ago, he hit me!

_Why is he saying this now?_

“Thanks.” I answer quietly and he walks over to me, fixing my tie around my neck.

“The last time I saw you wear a suit is when you decided to stay at Os Academy.” He reminds me and I grin at the memory. Even back then we were closer. His smile felt more real, like it is now. Now, though, is like a hologram. I’m scared to move and touch it or it will slip through my fingers.

“I remember.” Is my quiet response and his smile grows. It’s almost hard to see, him being so kind after being, just… _gone_ for so long.

“Well, have fun tonight.” He tells me and pulls me into a hug, making me stiffen. His arm wraps around my back and his hand cradles my neck. I feel every ounce of energy leave my body as he pulls away. He walks at the door, stopping to look back at me with a smile.

“I’m proud of you, son.” He tells me and leaves the room and everything in me wants to scream. Shout. Hit something to release this rush of emotions.

I’ve always heard that mental illness comes in phases. Like someone with dementia. They have times where everything will come back to them and times where everything is gone and they’re lost and god, it’s just not fair!

I adjust my tie again in the mirror, ignoring how the rims of my eyes are turning red. I look at the clock and note that it’s going on six. I have to meet Liz in half an hour and I could use time to burn off some steam.

I find myself walking around New York in a suit with a pink tie. I didn’t even bother with a bow-tie this time around because pink is a color I just personally don’t have the time to hunt for.

I frown when I look up and see Spider-Man swing by. Kid Arachnid swings next to him and I find myself even more upset.

Whatever happens, it’ll get on the news and suddenly my father will be focused on it again. It’s obsessive and I want it to end.

I wish I didn’t care about Spider-Man. I just want him to be gone so that I don’t have to deal with him. I feel like everything got complicated when he showed up and I just want him to disappear.

I only realize that I forgot my phone when I’m getting close to Manhattan. I shrug it off and continue my journey. No reason to go back now.

By the time I get about halfway there, I feel myself get light headed. It’s starts with a sensitivity to light. Then as a headache. Then a full body ache. I’m on Liz’s street when the migraine fully hits.

I look up as Liz walks out of her house in a pink, strapless dress. It goes down to about mid-thigh and her red hair pulled half up. Her face is elegantly done up with makeup, but a heavy frown weighs it down.

“Harry, are you okay?” She asks and I nod, despite how her voice makes my whole body tremor.

“I’m fine. Just... dizzy.” I answer and she puts her hands on either of my shoulders.

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” She tells me and my eyes start to get blurry.

“I’m fine.” I refute and she pauses, picking something off of my neck with a sharp prick.

“What is this?” She asks, holding up a transmitter that I recognize instantly. It had been Raymond Warren’s tech. The very thing that turned Aleksei into Rhino the night of Horizon’s dance my freshman year.

How did that even get on me?

“I… I don’t know.” I respond and rub at my neck before it hits me.

My father hugged me.

He’s the only one who still has access to that tech.

“Harry.” Her voice is panicked this time when I look up at her. “You’re turning green.” She responds and my eyes widen when I remember what else of Raymond Warren’s work my father has.

“Run.” I tell her quickly and arms leave my shoulders as I fold into myself, falling to the ground.

My vision then cuts out completely and all I see is green.


	13. Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering I wrote 5,000 word today, I decided to post more because I'm WEAK and like to post as much as possible. Besides. I'm almost 90,000 words in. I think I can let myself do this.
> 
> So, shit gets real from here on out. Fluff still happens eventually, but like, heavy angst ahead. I hope you all like the turn that the story is taking and thank you all for reading!
> 
> Triggers: violence and head injury

_**Peter's POV** _

 

“Well obviously Black Panther beatss Hawkeye. You think any kind of arrows can break through vibranium?” I ask and Miles hums, as if he hadn’t considered the suit.

“Very true.” He reasons and I think through my head. We’re on patrol right now, but nothing is happening at the moment. So, naturally, we started talking about which Avenger could beat which.

“What about Black Widow and Iron Man?” I ask and he shrugs.

“Black Widow. By the way, it’s a date.” He says and I roll my eyes. He keeps stopping the game to bother me about something he only heard because of his heightened senses.

Good to know he eavesdrops in on our conversations.

“No, it’s not.” I argue with Miles and he gives me an even look.

“He literally said he wants to ‘take you out’.” He reminds me and I groan.

“Back to the game, Miles.” I scold and I can tell even with the mask on that he’s rolling his eyes.

“Fine. As I was going to say saying, Black Widow could beat Iron Man’s ass in a second.” Miles says as he lays next to me on the roof and I scoff.

“No way.” I argue and he chuckles.

“What makes you say that?” He questions and I gawk at him.

“Does the suit ring a bell? Black Widow mostly just fights hand to hand.” I point out and he nods.

“But if Mr. Stark didn’t wear the suit?”

“Black Widow, no question.” I agree and he chuckles.

“I told you. Now, if it was Cap-” He’s cut off by a loud scream that has me on my feet instantly. Several other screams follow and I don’t even have to look at Miles to know that he follows me as I swing towards the sound.

I always hate how in movies, the battles happen in Times Square because frankly, Times Square is the worst place to fight. There are too many things to be destroyed, too many people, and too many things to get thrown at me. So as I web towards the area, I find myself scowling.

I look to Miles when we reach Times Square to see him freeze as we land, staring at something with wide eyes and I’m almost scared to look.

When I do, I can see why they’re so surprised.

Across the square, I see a green monster climbing the building with nothing but his bare hands and I gulp.

“So that’s what they were using the jackel serum for.” He says and I use my lenses to zoom in, analyzing anything I can.

“Be careful, it’s obviously at least decently strong. Probably fast too. Look out for speed.” I tell him people are shouting about the “Green Goblin” and I frown. _Great, it already has a name._ But I can’t see how he could’ve said it. Maybe he didn’t, because he has this animalistic nature to him that makes it hard to imagine how this was made. It’s large, but not like the Hulk. More like tall and thin, in a lanky way. But I can tell as it meets my eyes that it’s strong in a wiry way.

“Spidey, it’s looking at you.” Miles tells me and I nod.

“I know.” I murmur because it’s gaze is burning. It’s like… it’s like it was looking for me.

Oh god. Is this another Spider Slayer? Just a more humanoid one?

Before I know it, it’s jumping from rooftop to rooftop trying to get to me and I take a breath. Norman has made worse, I’m sure.

“Stay back. I think I have a target on my back and I don’t want you involved if it’s not needed.” I tell him and he nods.

“Shout if you need backup.” He tells me and I jump to the next building and the Green Goblin speeds up towards me.

How should I even go about this? He’s just charging at me. How do you attack something that’s already on the offense?

_Make it go into defense._

I use my webs to fling myself at it, ready to kick, but it moves to the side and punches me in the back, sending me over the rail.

_What the hell?_

I catch myself and fling myself over the edge, shoot webs that it just tears through. I go to punch it and it dodges and punches me in the gut, sending me against the chimney of the building.

Wow this thing is strong. Maybe I should find a different approach.

It goes to hit me and I flip away, on the defense. That’s it, I need to be on the defense. Wear it down until…

It lunges after me suddenly, pinning me to the ground.

_Oh god. What the hell is this thing?_

Miles webs it’s back and throws it against the wall, getting it off of me.

“I got you.” He says to me and I nod.

“Double team?” I call and he nods, though I honestly am panicking as I get into position. It’s like it’s programmed to know my moves! All of my fakes and habits; it’s worse than Kraven, because I can’t even adapt to it. It works too fast to adjust accordingly. It even knows when Miles is behinds him to shoot his web so I can attack. It grabs Miles’ web as it’s shot, throwing Miles to the side. He adjusts, but the impact isn’t great.

I freeze for a second in shock and it starts towards me.

 _I can’t afford any mistakes here. It's too fast,_ I think as Miles webs to the next building.

That’s a good idea. Run until it tires out.

I web to the next building, but it grabs my leg and swings me, slamming me down and the world around me goes black.


	14. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers are Norman's Shitty Parenting™ and a dash of self loathing.

_**Harry's POV** _

 

I wake up screaming as a shock goes through my body. I can’t move, unable to do anything but shout as it rips through me. I catch my breath as it stops, coming back to.

_What just happened?_

I’m in the back of a truck with something attached to my head. Opening my eyes takes all my strength as I see my hand, tilted green as it becomes pale again.

What _is_ happening?

I look around to see some of the men who work in my father’s lab when it comes back to me.

I jolt up with a surge of energy.

I was… I was a monster, wasn’t I? I don’t remember anything other than Liz’s face as she back away.

I don’t remember anything after that.

Did I hurt her?

_Oh god, please tell me I didn’t hurt her._

Look around to see my father standing in front of me, a large grin across his face.

“You did well, son.” He tells me and my stomach drops.

“What did I do well, _father?”_ I ask, voice cold. My body feels foreign to me as I remember the transformation.

Caused by my own _father_.

“You made your debut as the Green Goblin.” He tells me and I’m standing before I even know I can stand, ripping the transmitters off my head.

“Why did you do this to me?” I beg for answers and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Like I told you, I’m proud of you. And if you’re going to succeed as heir to the company, you’ll have to eliminate Spider-Man. You have to prove your worth.” He explains as if that would make sense as to why he turned me into a monster and before I can question him further, something else comes to mind.

“You used the experiment without permission. When I specifically said it wasn’t safe.” I point out and he smiles.

“I’d say our experiment was well worth the risk.” He tells me and my heart just drops. He was willing to experiment on his only son? He said he was proud of me earlier, but he was just using me for his own agenda.

“Even if the risk was my life?” I ask and he chuckles.

“It was your life or his.” He tells me and my eyes widen. Oh no.

Just because I said I wanted Spider-Man gone doesn’t mean I wanted him dead. I just wanted my father to be normal but it seems like that might not be possible. Spider-Man was fighting for good, even if it didn’t always work out. At least, I think.

He was fighting for _something_.

My father is just fighting.

“Did I… kill him?” I ask and he shakes his head.

“No, but he’ll be out of commission for a bit.” He explains and I shut my eyes.

“Let me off of this truck.” I say and he scoffs.

“I will do no such…” He starts, only to finish as I shove him to the side and open the door of the moving van. I don’t even care that I’m only in torn pants as I jump out, I had to get out of there. I run home to get my phone before they get there. I have to explain what happened to Liz.

I have to make sure she’s okay.

I get in and out of my house quickly since my father probably didn’t think I’d go there. I put on sweats and a hoodie, taking my phone and calling Liz as I walk down the street. She answers with a grave voice.

“Are you okay?” She asks in a low panic and I nod to myself.

“I think so. I should be. Are you okay? I ask, heart pounding as I await her answer.

“Yes, I am.” She tells me and I sigh in relief.

“Thank god. I was worried.” I tell her, a hand resting on my forehead.

“What… what happened, Harry?” She asks and I lean against the wall next to me.

“I don’t remember. I don’t remember _anything_. All I know is that my father turned me into a monster and I hurt Spider-Man.” I tell her and her voice sounds desperate.

“Come over. Don’t go back there. You can stay here until we figure this out.” She begs and I nod before I realize something.

I told Peter I was coming over after the dance.

Oh god. Peter.

“I have to see Peter.” I tell her and she pauses.

“Are you going to tell him?” She asks and I nod to myself.

“I should. Maybe he can help me figure this out.” I point out and I can almost hear her nod.

“Let me know how it goes. And, actually keep me updated. I have a bad feeling about all this.” She responds and my chest tightens.

“So do I.” I respond and hang up the phone. I look around and notice I’m in Manhattan again. The jumbotron screens show videos of a monster that looks like something out of a movie. That is, until I see Spider-Man in the screen as well.

Oh my god. That was me.

I’m staring at the screen as my whole body tremors. What the hell did I do? And why did I do it? I may not be Spider-Man’s biggest fan, but I don’t want him dead!

_Do I?_

Is it my subconscious working when my consciousness is shut down? Or is this damn chemical programmed? What can I do to stop this?

Can I even stop it?

The thought makes me terrified at I look at the screens above Manhattan. I watch as that… thing that’s also me swing Spider-Man, hitting him in the head and he passes out.

_Oh my god._

I pick up my phone with shaking hands, Pressing it to my ear.

”Harry?” Peter answers and I take a deep breath as tears start to form in my eyes.

_What have I done?_

“Peter, I need to see you.”

 


	15. Spinning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. Don't hate me. Things get slightly better after this chapter.
> 
> Triggers: injury, vomiting, and emotional distress.

_**Peter's POV** _

 

“God, please wake up.” Miles begs as I come to, still on the roof of some damn building in Times Square. I move my hand to my foreheads and he sighs. “Thank god.” He says and I groan as my head throbs at the noise around me.

“Ouch.” I mutter and he moves from sitting to kneeling, high on his knees. “What the hell was that?” Miles asks as I come back to, hands on his hips as if he’s about to lecture me.

“What do you mean?” I ask and he groans.

“That… that thing just attacked you then disappeared.” He says and I sit up, almost instantly regretting it.

“Can we talk about that later?” I ask and he pulls off his mask, but it looks like there’s two of him. He frowns.

“You okay, buddy?” He asks and I nod.

“I’m find.” I respond and he raises an eyebrow.

“You’re _find_?” He repeats and I frown.

“Mental typo.” I shake my head and he blinks.

“We really need to get you home.” He concludes and I don’t argue as he puts his mask back on and picks me up, swinging me across the city. He carries me into my room with a frown. “Can you stand on your own?” He asks and I push off of him, wobbling a little, but I wave a hand.

“I’m fine, Miles.” I tell him and his eyebrows furrow.

“Peter, you look like you’re gonna pass out.” He pushes and I shake my head.

“I’m just gonna lie down. I’ll be fine.” I tell him and he sighs.

“If you insist. Call me if you need me.” He responds and I nod.

“Thanks Miles. Let me know if you find out anything.” I tell him and my phone rings. I look to is and see that it’s Harry and I frown.

Right. I was supposed to see him.

He shouldn’t see me like this.

_But what if he got hurt in all of that?_

I pick up the phone, deciding I don’t have a choice.

“Harry?” I answer, trying not to sound in pain. The Green Goblin really hurt me bad, and I just don’t know how to even begin treating it. It feels like my insides have all shifted; not necessarily harmed, but scrambled, all from a head injury.

“Peter, I need to see you.” He says, and it sounds urgent. No, desperate, like I’ve never heard his voice say to me. Maybe to Spider-Man when he demanded we save me or his father when he thinks we’re in danger, but never to _me_. Never open. Never willing.

“You want to come over?” I ask before I can even start to think about how I’m going to hide the fact I’m in pain. I stand up, holding in a groan as Harry sniffles.

Wait. Sniffles?

Maybe I’m into something with my insides, because it feels like my heart is in the pit of my stomach.

“I’m on my way already.” He tells me and I look down at myself, realizing that I’m still in my suit. I quickly move to take everything off, phone pressing up to my shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” I tell him and he says goodbye quickly before hanging up. I note that it’s around nine at night.

How long was I passed out on that roof?

I stand up straight after I take the suit off only to fall onto my dresser, narrowly missing hitting my head again. I frown.

_This is gonna be a lot harder than I anticipated._

I open one of the drawers and pull out a t-shirt, pulling it on. By the time I put on my sweats, the doorbell is ringing. What the heck? I know it’s not that fast of a ride from Manhattan to Queens.

I look at the clock and note that about half an hour has gone by.

_What the hell?_

What happened to me? Did I really hit my head that hard?

I go downstairs as quickly as I can without falling over and rush to the door before Aunt May can answer it. It’s swings open to Harry in the dark, the porch lights off for the night. He’s wearing sweats, which is a bit odd considering he was supposed to be at a dance. He looks up at me and his eyes widen.

“Are you okay?” He asks as he sees me and there must be something visibly wrong with me for him to ask. I nod, forcing a smile.

“I’m fine. Come in.” I say, and he does so, stepping into the light to reveal red eyes. They don’t meet mine.

“Harry...

“Oh, you boys are still up?” I jolt at Aunt May’s voice and turn to see her in her pajamas, frown heavy on her face. I nearly fall as I twist abrupt, grabbing the door handle to keep myself upright.

“Hi Aunt May. Sorry to come here so late.” Harry apologizes and she beams.

“It’s quite alright. Do you two need anything?” She dotes and I glance at Harry, who seems too distraught to say anything at the moment.

“It’s fine, Aunt May. I think we’ll just go upstairs.” I tell her and she nods in understanding.

“Alright. You boys get some sleep. You look exhausted.” She says with a yawn of her own and turns to go back upstairs. I look towards Harry to see him looking at the ground.

“Wanna go upstairs?” I ask and he jumps, as if forgetting I was there. He doesn’t look up at me.

“Yeah, sure.” He answers quietly, walking ahead of me and up the stairs. I raise an eyebrow, deciding to go into the kitchen and grab a bag of chips and two sodas. When I reach the counter, I have to lean against it to stop the swimming in my head.

This is getting bad. The room won’t stop spinning.

When I recover enough to see what’s in front of me, I walk up to my room and see that Harry is laying on my bed, clutching my pillow in his arms. It has me pause in the doorway to see him like that. I’ve only ever seen him like this twice, and that was when his mom died and his father started hitting him.

I frown, closing the door, deciding that whatever this is, I have to be ready for it.

“Harry...” I start as I put the food in my desk.

“I don’t know what to do, Pete.” He says and I frown, walking over to the bed. I struggle to walk in a straight line, but I find the trouble worth it as I settle into bed behind Harry, throwing an arm around him. He grabs my hand, gripping it close to his chest.

“Talk to me.” I whisper and he sniffles, his whole frames shaking. 

“Pete, I don’t know what I’m doing. All I wanted was my father to respect me.” He admits and I hold back my instinct to examine his body for bruises. My arm pulls him closer so he’s flushed to my chest.

“I know.” I hush him and his voice rips through the quiet air.

“I feel like all he wants to do is use me. For science or power or whatever. And I’m so scared of what he’s making me become.” He cries and I frown as my head spins again. He turns to face me and I can’t help but notice that he’s never done that before. He’s never let me truly _see_ him cry. Sure, he'll cry around me, but it's normally with his back turned or trying to brush it off. But right now he’s sobbing as he buries his face in my neck, unabashed and terrified.

My head doesn’t stop spinning.

“Harry, you’re a good person. Your father doesn’t control you.” I tell him and he shakes his head.

“No. I’m a person. I’m fallible and I was made by an evil man. What happens if I can’t control the evil myself and end up like that too?” He demands and my other hand moved to play with his hair. I’ve never heard him talk like this before, much less about his father. It’s everything in me to stay focused as he relaxes into me while I try to stay awake. I whisper to him.

“You’re good, Harry. Just because you were made by someone... debatably evil, doesn’t mean you are. You’re not defined by anyone else.” I tell him and he pulls back enough so he can see my face.

“Pete?” He murmurs and I raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah?” I respond and all he does is look at me for a minute and he’s so close. He’s so close, like he’s never been before, open and honest, and my head is still spinning, but it’s more than that. My heart is beating fast and my stomach is flipping and...

Wait, my stomach is doing more than just flip.

“One second.” I say and move back to get out of bed only to fall off, landing with a thud and vomiting on the floor. Harry gasps, scrambling to move me to my side so I don’t choke. The puke spills out of my mouth and onto the floor and he moves my head do it’s elevated on his leg, not caring when I throw up all over his lap. He cards his fingers through my hair, worry painted on his face as I empty the contents of my stomach onto the ground. Once I know I’m done, I move to sit up, only to fall back onto his lap. I look up and watch as his face contorts in a sort of angry panic.

“What happened?” His voice is high pitched and obviously worried. It’s hard to focus on.

“I...” My voice trails off when I realize I don’t really understand the question.  _It’s pretty obvious I threw up._

“I‘ll get Aunt May.” He says, but I move my hand to his shirt, closing my eyes.

“Not... yet.” I murmur, feeling my mind break apart. I’m going to faint soon. I know it.

“Pete, you just threw up and now you can’t keep your eyes open.” 

_Wait, my eyes are closed? I forgot I did that._

“It’s just... a concussion.” I drawl, my head far too heavy at the moment.

“How the fuck did you get a concussion?”

“Language.”

 _“Peter.”_ He begs, panic heavy in his voice, and I draw my knees to my chest, knowing I can’t even think up a lie.  _Just don’t bring up Spider-Man._

“The Green Goblin attacked me.” I tell him and he stiffens.

“No.” His voice is desperate as I open my eyes and look up at him. He’s still crying and everything in me want to hold him and tell him that it’s okay, I’ll be okay, you’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.

But to be honest, at the moment, nothing is okay.

“I think I need a doctor.” I admit, slurring, and he gently moves my head to the floor, undoubtedly going to find Aunt May. I blink, or so I think it’s a blink, because when I open my eyes, Harry is scooping me into his arms with Aunt May watching, worry heavy on both of their faces and my heart clenches with guilt.

My eyes close as I lean against Harry’s shoulder, hating that we both smell like vomit as I pass out.


	16. Stupid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a lot to say about this chapter except that it's complicated and I love it.
> 
> I hope you all like it and thanks for reading!

_**Harry's POV** _

 

I hurt my best friend.

It’s all I can think about. As Peter lays in the bed of his newly carpet-cleaned room, all I can think is that I did this. The hospital had given him pain meds while he had been awake and deemed him okay unless worsened. 

Medical expertise, my  _ass_.

His eyes are hollowed out, as if he hasn’t slept in a week rather than has been sleeping non-stop for days. I stay with him to wake him up every hour, and this time, he fell asleep with his arms around my waist and his head in my lap. He looks so content, yet vulnerable, as if he isn’t holding the person who did this to him. It makes me feel guilty, but I suppose I deserve it.

I hurt my best friend.

Aunt May knocks quietly and brings in a pitcher of water and some snack. I told her I would stay with him while she was gone, so she stops in between shifts to make food that he rarely eats so I don’t have to leave him, cause god knows I haven’t.

“You should sleep.” She tells me and I sigh.

“I’m fine, Aunt May. I wouldn’t be able to, anyways.” I admit and she give a soft, sympathetic smile. Aunt May always does a good job of helping you feel better without feeling pitied.

“I’ll bring you some tea tonight.” She decides and I try to smile, knowing there’s no way she’ll give up on this.

“Thank you.” I respond and she smiles and nods before leaving the room to go to work. I pick up my phone and check my emails, starting with the ones from Max. All of Horizon High is wishing Peter well and sending his homework home every day with Gwen. It’s nice to know he’s so loved there. I mean, they’re good people, always visiting with a smile, even if they can only see me right now.

Then there’s about twenty more missed calls from Liz. I’ve been texting her updates, but she’s still worried, but I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what’s going on except that I’m the Green Goblin.

I’m the Green Goblin.

_Fuck._

She calls again and I hang it up, turning my phone on _‘do not disturb’_. I’ll call her when I’m not watching over my best friend that I _brutally injured_.

I scroll further and see my father’s curt email, telling me I need to come back soon. I ignore it. I had called him and told him I was done with this after Peter got hurt. He had laughed and told me that wasn’t possible. I think that worries me more than anything. The fact that I might not be able to fix this.

“You’re gonna get wrinkles if you keep scowling like that.” Peter says quietly and I look down at him as he glances up at me.

“Because that’s my greatest concern right now.” I joke, putting my phone down and playing with his hair. I’ve taken to doing that a lot, seeing as it calms him so easily. Plus, though I hate to admit it, I love the way his soft locks feel against my hand. He still frowns just a bit though.

“I wish you wouldn’t worry about me so much. I’m fine.” He says as if he doesn’t look like he has the plague. His face is pale and his eyes are sunken. Even now, he looks like he’s going to fall asleep. At least he hasn’t thrown up again. I’ll take that as a good sign.

“We should get you moving.” I change the subject rather than argue, but he just tightens his hold on me.

“Let’s just stay here.” He whines, obviously a little delirious as he nuzzles his head against my stomach.

God, why is he so cute?

 _Stop._ I scolded myself, as if snapping a rubber band on my wrist.

That’s been another problem ever since taking care of Peter. I mean, I’ve liked him for so long and...

And I hurt him.

And I don’t even  _remember_   _it_.

“Come on, Pete.” I say, prying his arms off my waist and moving so I’m standing. His head lays where I was sitting, pouting.

“Can’t I just lay here?” He asks and I chuckle as he curls into himself.

“At least take a bath.” I suggest and he sighs indignantly.

“Fine. Can you get my swim trunks?” He asks and I find myself relieved as if I didn’t know this was the routine.

I hand them to him as he changes on the bed with ease since he’s been sleeping in his 

boxers. When he tells me he’s done, I walk over to him and offer him an arm that he takes graciously. We move to his bathroom and he leans against the counter as I turn on the water. I glance back to him to find him brushing his teeth and looking at himself in the mirror, no doubt seeing what has me so worried. Especially while he’s standing, it’s obvious how little he’s eaten this past week. Though he hasn’t thrown up, he hasn’t gotten over the nausea.

“Bubbles?” I ask to distract him from himself and he glances at me over the shoulder after spitting out his toothpaste.

“Is that a question?” He retorts and I pointedly look at him as I pour a copious amount of bubble bath into the tub. He chuckles as he pushes himself off the counter, stumbling on his feet minutely. He stands next to me, scratching the side of my head and pulling me against his hip.

“You seem tired.” He dotes and I can’t help but chuckle at how he and Aunt May seem to love doing that.

“So do you.” I say, adding more cold to the steaming water. I look back up at him to see him smile down at me, but something about it is different. It isn’t quite as wide as normal, but for some reason, it feels like it means more than his large, unabashed ones do. It almost feels wrong to compare the two, both beautiful on his face, but this one make my heart beat too fast, as if it’s meant just to fluster me. 

He steps into the bath, now filled with bubbles, and relaxes into it as I turn off the water.

“You know, maybe you should take a bath too.” Peter says, pushing a wet hand through my bangs. “Your hair is getting kind of greasy.” He teases and I roll my eyes.

“I’ll shower later.” I tell his and he chuckles.

“Just get in now. No use wasting water.” He suggests and I feel a heat rise up my neck.

“I don’t have swim trunks here.” I remind him and he shrugs. 

“Yeah, but I have spare underwear here, so just come in wearing yours.” He says as if we’d just be bathing together like we did when we were five and I didn’t have feelings for him, but we aren’t five anymore.

“I’m fine, Pete.” I insist and he rolls his eyes.

“You’ve been taking care of me for almost a week now. Get your butt in here so I can at least try to return the favor.” He presses and I can’t even stop myself from flushing. I hide it by pulling off my shirt.

_If you can’t beat em’, join em’._

“You’re a brat, Parker.” I face away from him as I take off my pants, pushing them down to my ankles. I turn back to the bath and climb in, trying to find a place to fit.

Peter moves his legs to the sides for me, but I still manage to misstep and fall onto him, catching myself on the edge of the tub. I open my eyes that I hadn’t realized closed to find my face inches from Peter’s as he looks at me with wide eyes, hands hovering my chest, as if to catch me if I fall any further. Then, he laughs, leaning his forehead against mine as if we aren’t shirtless in a bathtub.

“Come on, sit between my legs and I’ll wash your hair.” He says as if it’s a perfectly normal request and I’m red just because of the hot water, but I do as he says regardless.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask as he starts to lather my hair and I can all but hear the shrug reach his voice.

“You’ve been taking care of me for a while now, but don’t think I forgot how upset you were.” He reminds me, massaging my scalp. “And I know how you are. You bury your feelings in your work and I’m a pretty big project right now.” He murmurs, fingers scraping my head and I lean against it. “I want you to know that you’re not a bad person, despite what you think. You are good.” He says and rinses my hair, flooding out all of the shampoo.

_But I hurt you._

The thought that doesn’t leave my head. I hurt him and I don’t remember anything. I don’t remember anything from being the Green Goblin except that I am and that’s the worst part.

Does that make me bad, or is it just two sides of me at conflict? Or maybe, science really can make you evil?

That seems like too hopeful of an idea for my own sanity.

“Harry.” His voice is soft as he says my name, as if I’m the one who need comfort. “Get out of your head. You’ll get lost in there.” He whispers and I chuckle at the fact that he manages to do so as I turn to him.

“Like you’re one to talk, Pete.” I joke and move to take the shampoo for him. I empty some into my hand and rub it into his locks, my other hand cupping his cheek. He closes his eyes as he leans into the touch. “You always get lost in that head of yours. Sometimes I wonder if you’ll even come out.” I say and that small smile is back of his face.

“It’s easy to lose yourself when you don’t want to be found.” He admits quietly and my eyebrows furrow.

“What do you mean?” I ask and he leans into my hand as I take to the time to make sure he’s clean.

“I mean, sometimes I wish I could run away from all my problems.” He admits, voice quiet. “I wish I didn’t have any responsibility and that life wasn’t so complicated. I could just be with Aunt May and you and live.” He says and I rinse his hair as I try to find my words.

“I know exactly how you feel.” Are the words I decide on as he opens his eyes and looks at me, that soft expression framed along his face.

“But things could be worse.” He concludes and I realize my hand still hasn’t left his cheek. He doesn’t move away from it as his eyes flicker shut. “I’m not gonna stay awake much longer.” He admits and I chuckle, standing up. 

“Let’s get you out of here.” I say as I step out of the bath and dry myself off. He stands on his own with the help of the wall, swaying, but standing fine nonetheless.

I take his hands and lead him outside of the bathtub, handing him a fresh towel. He dries himself off and I grab my clothes, pulling them into a bunch in one arm. I offer Peter the other.

“Shall we?” I joke and he giggles and god, I don’t know what to do with myself when he does things like that. Rather than answering, he takes my arm as we move to his bed. As soon as he is standing next to it, I move to get us both underwear, a pair of boxers and a pair of briefs for myself.

I blindly toss him a pair and turn around so we can both change. Once I have on his boxers, I watch as he walks past me to his dresser only to realize he has on the briefs I was going to wear and they look a little too nice on him. Luckily, or maybe not so luckily, he pulls out a sweatshirt that he looks like he’s swimming in. It’s from our middle school’s decathlon team, and I raise an eyebrow at the fact that it looks far too big on him. He turns around to show my last name on it. I flush deeply.

“You stole my old sweatshirt?” I point out as he crawls back onto the bed. He shrugs.

“You left it here and it’s nice to sleep in.” He admits and I nod, gulping at the fact he just casually wears my clothes to sleep.

_He just loves to test me, doesn’t he?_

I don’t bother with a shirt since Peter has slightly smaller shoulders than me, and move to sit next to where Peter is laying down. He wraps an arm around me.

“Nope. You’re sleeping too. Lay down.” He insists, yanking the blanket from under me. I chuckle, deciding to cooperate. I lay next to him, although I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much. If it helps Peter rest, though, then it’s worth it.

One thing that I love about Peter is that he’s never been afraid around me. He’s not scared to be this loud, proud nerd with me, as if even if I did judge him, he wouldn’t care. Even now, as he curls up to me in a way that is in no way masculine, he has an air of confidence about it. He tucks his head in the crook of my neck and my arms instinctually find his waist.

“You’re so pushy.” I argue with him and he chuckles.

“Yeah, but that’s what you like about me.”

_Yeah, I do._

My free hand plays with his hair as I press my forehead to his. “Shut up, Parker.” I say with no bite and he chuckles.

“Knew it.” He responds dismissively and closes his eyes. “I do want to thank you, though.” He whispers and I huff a laugh.

“Don’t thank me.” I say, trying not to give anything away in my voice. How do I even tell him that I’m the monster that hurt him so much? How can he thank me when I’m keeping such a large secret from him?

“Harry, you’ve taken such good care of me this whole time.” 

Please stop.

“It means the world to me that you care about me that much.”

Please  _stop_.

“You’re a good person and I wish you could see just how...”

“Stop it, Peter.” I cut in and his eyes open again, a bit wider than before. His eyes, those green eyes, so wide and close and I just can’t think of hurting them.

So I can’t tell him.

“Why won’t you believe me?” He asks and I can’t even think as his I use my grip on his head to pull him so I’m just centimeters away from him.

“Because I’m not as good of a person as you think.” I say and watch as his eyes widen as I press my lips to his. 

What am I doing?

My eyes fall shut as I kiss him. He doesn’t kiss back and I internally swear.

What am I  _doing_?

I pull away, ready to face the repercussions, when his hands move and grab my face as he kisses me back.

His lips are careful, but eager, as if this is new and unexpected territory. But he’s smiling against my lips as his thumbs rub against my cheekbones and I don’t even know what to do except lean further, kiss more, pull him so he’s flushed against my body.

It’s so obvious that it’s new to him and that it makes me blush, because while the kiss isn’t sloppy or bad, it’s cautious and confused and endearing as hell. I grin and bite his lower lip, making him sigh into my mouth. He leans as close as he can, to the point it feels like there isn’t a point we aren’t touching as one of his hands threads through my hair. We only stop when we’re both struggling to breathe, him pulling away and his eyes opening instantly, as if he’s shocked by what just happens. 

Then, he starts laughing.

It’s somewhere between his cackle and a giggle as he hiccups laughs in the air between us. It leaves me grinning as the evening light shines in through the window, my eyes not leaving his shaking frame as I take in his beauty.

I kissed this boy, looking at me with big green eyes with a grin.

“What was that?” He sighs and I match his smile.

“Proof that I’m not as good of a person as you thought.” I admit and he raises an eyebrow.

“How so?” He asks and there’s a teasing air to his voice as he grins at me and my heart pounds loudly in my chest.

“Because you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” I confess and he giggles, leaning over me.

“Well I can’t say I’m opposed.” He whispers and presses his lips to mine and holy shit, I’m kissing my best friend.

_Now I’m the dizzy one._

We kiss lazily for what feels like hours, trapped in our own world of laughs and sweet nothings as we take turns pecking each other’s lips until his eyelids grow heavy.

“Harry?” He whispers, lips hovering mine as one of his hands slips to where my shoulder meets my neck.

“Yes?” I answer and he grins.

“Just so you know, I like you.” He tells me and it’s my turn to laugh.

“I like you too, Pete.” I respond, kissing him one last time. “You need to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” I tell him and he nods.

“Goodnight, Harry.” He whispers as he drifts off and it strikes me what I just did.

And what I just did was probably the _stupidest_ thing I could've done.

I still find myself grinning as I close my eyes, because it's okay. I'll make it okay. I'll make this safe for him.

I have to find out what's happening to me and stop it. For Spider-Man, New York, myself, and for Peter.

Because as he tucks his head under my chin with a contented sigh, I realize that there is one thing stupider that I could've done than kiss him, and that would be for me to let him get away. But I need it to be safe. This can never happen again.

I'll make sure of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And ya'll thought things were complicated BEFORE.


	17. Headaches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! This chapter is not only fluffy as hell, but the start of an arc for Peter. Keep an eye out for little easter eggs. They may be important later.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it! I don't believe there are any triggers in this one, so I hope you like it:)

_**Peter's POV** _

 

Harry wakes me up as soon as he does, panicked that he forgot to do it every hour. I assure him I’m fine and he relaxes.

That’s when the first change happens.

He kisses me good morning after that, uncaring that we both have morning breath and he’s still only wearing my underwear.

It’s calm, though. The day is spent laying around. My headaches come in spikes, so I’ll go from trying to do some homework to laying on Harry as he reads.

And it’s boring.

Not being with Harry. _Not at all._ But the fact I can’t really do anything that involves focus is a major bummer. I look outside to see the bare, late October trees, being drenched by freezing rain. _That explains why the headaches are so bad today._

Right now, I’m leaning on his shoulder, straddling his lap as he reads the book he holds behind my back. My hands play with his hair and I smile as he leans into it. Anything to keep my head from pounding and anything to keep me from thinking about the Green Goblin.

Though, those are the same problems, aren’t they?

The Green Goblin is obviously out to kill me, and obviously something created by Norman.

_And I’m sitting in his son’s lap right now._

_I’m probably digging my own grave._

But despite that, I find myself grinning in Harry’s arms. Last night was... surprising. For him to say he likes me too is more than I ever thought would happen. And the fact he kissed me. The fact that this isn’t just something I’ve made up in my head to be something it’s not.

I press my forehead on the pillow he’s leaning against. It’s not like much has changed other than him kissing me and the fact I’m lying on top of him and I think that’s what’s nice. Harry and I as more than friends is the same as us as friends. He still whispers various passages to me as he reads, though, making me flush when he reads one in particular.

 _“It was unexpected, but not unwelcomed, when she kissed him.”_ He whispers and I snort, turning dark red as I pull back so that I’m just sitting in his lap as he leans back.

“So, then, are you the girl in this relationship?” I ask and he turns a bit darker too.

“Relationship, huh?” He asks and my eyes widen, realizing I have no idea where this is headed. Was it wrong to assume this was a relationship?

“Oh, um…” He chuckles and kisses my forehead, going back to reading.

“I’m pretty sure we’re both the boys in this relationship.” He concludes and I feel my cheeks heat up.

“So, is that what this is?” I ask and he raises an eyebrow, looking surprised by the question.

“You want it to be, right?” He asks as he marks his book and closes it, putting it to the side and I smile.

“Yeah, I think I do.” I respond and he pecks my lips.

“My boyfriend, Peter Parker. I think I like the sound of that.” He responds and I smirk, a cheeky eyebrow raised.

“You think?” I ask and he leans in closer.

“Yeah, I think so.” He teases back and I giggle.

“Good.” I respond and he leans kiss me again, but right when his lips meet mine, the door opens.

“Oh!” Aunt May exclaims and I jolt up to look at the door when I’m hit with a headrush. Harry’s hand on my back keeps me steady as I open my eyes, looking over at Aunt May.

Oh god. Aunt May saw.

“Aunt May…” My voice fades out as look at her to see her smiling as she crosses her arms.

“Peter, you didn’t tell me you started dating, too.” She’s trying to seem like she’s scolding me, but there’s a laugh there that deceives her. I feel my face flush as Harry chuckles nonchalantly.

“Hi Aunt May.” He says and she laughs and I shoot him a mortified glare as he sits there in _only my underwear._

“Do I have to give him the shovel talk?”

“Oh my god.” I bury my face in my hands and Aunt May and Harry both chuckle.

“It’s okay, I’ve known you two were dating for months. Don’t look so scandalized.” She says and Harry stops laughing as I turn to him. We exchange a confused look before I turn back to Aunt May.

Oh my god. She thinks we’ve been dating for _months_.

_This is by far one of the most awkward moments of my life._

“Months?” I question and she nods.

“Yeah. Don’t tell me it’s been longer.” She says and Harry snorts.

“You’re getting colder.” He responds and her eyes widen.

“When did you start dating?” She asks in confusion and I sigh.

“About two minutes ago.” I tell her with a flush and she scoffs.

“You mean to tell me you boys have been blatantly flirting for years and you only just asked him out?” She says and I’m sorry, what? I turn to Harry who flushes at her words, surprising me even more.

“I wouldn’t say it was years…”

“Don’t try that with me, Harold.” Aunt May scolds and he flushes even darker.

“Okay, yeah, maybe.” He says and I gape at him.

“Years?” I squeak and Aunt May puts her hands on her hips.

“Don’t act like you didn’t feel the same, Peter.” She continues her brutal honesty and wow, I don’t know what to say even more. I only realized this weeks ago but something about her burning gaze tells me my gut is probably wrong. I mean, I spent time trying to convince myself I don’t like Harry and yet I decided years ago that he was worth all of his faults. I’ve always been comfortable around him and I’ve always wanted to be close to him and…

_Well, she’s not wrong._

“Anyways, we’re dating now and that’s what matters.” I say, eyes on her feet because my face is so hot, it would probably catch on fire if I look at her.

“Thank you for telling me, but I’d prefer to have more of a warning. Maybe a sock on the door or something.” She says and turns to walks out and I jolt at her words.

_Oh my god, she thinks we’re screwing._

“We weren’t…” I’m cut off by the door closing and Harry sits there quietly with me _still on top of him_  as I put my face in my hands.

“At least it went well.” Harry offers and I groan.

“I hadn’t even told her I like boys.” I tell him and he chuckles.

“It sounds like she already knew.” He points out and I sigh and look up from my hands, glancing back at Harry, curiosity taking over.

“Years?” I ask and he flushes.

“Yeah.” He answers and my jaw drops. He’s… liked me all this time? And I’m only now realizing that I’ve had feelings for him?

I’m an idiot.

“How many?” I ask and he looks up at the ceiling to avoid my inquiring eyes.

“Since middle school. Probably around the time you started transitioning.” He tells me and I literally gasp.

“You mean when I had acne and glasses and my binder?” I ask and he nods, smiling to himself.

“It was the first time you seemed happy with yourself and it made me realize how beautiful you were.” He tells me and my heart melts onto the floor.

I don’t know how or why, but he really likes me, and has liked me for a long time. How long have I not noticed that he liked me? Hell, I didn’t even know he liked men until a few weeks ago.

I take his face into my hands, making him look at me. He looks almost nervous as I smile at him.

“I don’t know what you saw in me, but I’m glad you did.” I whisper and he raises an eyebrow.

“Aunt May said years for you too, but is that the truth?” He asks and I shrug. I guess the best way to think about this is just to tell him. I can be honest with him. He was honest and open with me, so it’s my turn to do the same.

“About a month ago, Miles told me to take a closer look. He never said your name, never even implied a boy, but I somehow instantly thought of you. I guess you could say I started liking you then, but that doesn’t seem right.” I admit as one of my thumbs brushes against his cheek. “I think it was earlier. I think it was just something about you always being there. I never thought to look at you that way, but…” My voice trails off, even though I know where my mind is going. I bite my lip.

_It’s Harry. I can say it to him._

“But every time we worked together in your lab, or you remembered stupid things I would forget, or you texted me to get coffee with you, I felt it. Every time you said my name, I wanted you to say it again, and every time you held me, I didn’t want you to let go.” I confess and all I can do is stare at him as a grin crosses his face. His face looks almost relieved, and happy as he sighs into his smile.

He leans in and kisses me, right as his arms move to wrap around my waist and there’s something there that has me grinning because that’s it. That’s the truth. It’s always been painfully obvious that I have a weak point for him. Even my enemies have used him against me as Spider-Man.

_Oh god. He doesn’t know I’m Spider-Man._

I lean into the kiss, my hands moving to grip his hair.

I’m the superhero he hates and he doesn’t know it. It’s not like I can just tell him now. Here I am, currently lying in bed from a concussion caused by something, or someone, Norman ordered to kill me. That’s not exactly small news.

But here he is, holding and kissing me like he doesn’t hate me at all. Like he could learn to love me and it fills me with hope and fear at the same time. Because he could leave me after he finds out I’m Spider-Man.

_Hell, he could leave me before he knows._

Harry pulls away from the kiss and my eyes open. His stay closed as he smiles, kissing my lips again, so soft that it almost hurts. “I never thought you’d like me back.” He admits, eyes still not open. His lips brush against mine as he talks. He looks beautiful. My heart breaks a little as I consider his words. He was content to be friends with me after liking me for years? Just accepting that fact that in his mind, we’d probably never be more?

I don’t deserve him. That much is obvious.

“I never thought you’d like me either.” I say against his lips. I remember when we were little and I always thought about Harry marrying a girl someday and I was jealous. I always thought it had to do with him being able to marry a girl and wear a suit and be traditionally in love, but that wasn’t it. I was never jealous of Harry; I was jealous of the girl.

Because Harry is someone who deserves the best. I always assumed that would be the “traditional” marriage because hell, his father almost banned me from seeing him when I first started transitioning. I’m far from traditional. I’m not straight, not cis, and I’m a fucking spider mutant that half the city hates.

How could anyone want me?

How could _Harry_ ever settle for someone as small as me?

Because Harry isn’t small. No, he’s the biggest thing in my life, paired with Aunt May. He’s important and smart and beautiful and he’s holding me like I matter and I just don’t understand how.

“My boyfriend, Harry Osborn.” I mumble and he chuckles against my lips.

“You like the sound of that?” He plays and I nod.

“I do.”


	18. Sunday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an update! I don't have lot to say about it, but I hope you all like it:)

_**Harry's POV** _

 

It’s Sunday today.

I wake up to that thought and instantly hate it because Peter is going back to school tomorrow and I have to figure out what I’m doing next. Do I go home or what?

I turn my phone back on and see that Liz has been texting me again. I frown at that. She’s the only other person that knows that I’m the Green Goblin.

She also knows I hurt Peter.

I check her latest message.

 

 **Liz:** An update would b nice. Gwen said Peters goin back 2 skool tmw. Are u stayin 2nite?

 

My reply is short.

 

 **Harry:** I don’t know yet.

 **Liz:** I told ma ur having home probs. guest room is open if u dont stay ther.

 

I smile at the words, typing a reply.

 

 **Harry:** Thank you.

 **Liz:** Np.

 

“You’re up.” Peter mumbles as he sits himself up on his elbow. I smile. Peter has gotten better, but he’s still weak. Miles, Anya, and Gwen already know to keep an eye on him when he comes back, so I’m not too worried about it. He spent all of yesterday catching up on his homework, so he’s ready to go back.

“Yup.” I answer shortly and peck his lips. He’s smiling when I pull away and it makes my heart melt.

I still can’t believe he’s mine. It’s a shocking thought in my head. He’s mine and he likes me too and it’s hard to fathom as he throws his spare arm around me.

“You know, you have horrendous bed head.” He tells me and I snort.

“And you stole all the covers last night.”

“Because you sleep with the window open.” He retorts and I chuckle.

“Well, I think we’ve found our first problems as a couple.” I joke and he mocks serious.

“It’s unacceptable. We need to break up.” He jokes, calm face cracking at the end and I smile.

“It would take a lot more than that to end this.” I assure him and he kisses me again. He smiles and sits up so we’re at the same level.

“You busy today?” He asks and wraps his arms around my shoulders. My hands instinctually find his waist.

“I’m going to Liz’s tonight, but until then, I plan on staying here with you.” I tell him and he pouts.

“It’s gonna be weird actually sleeping alone.” He admits and I shrug.

“I think I’ve overstayed my welcome.” I say and he shakes his head.

“Never.” He responds and kisses me and if this is what the honeymoon phase that everyone talks about is, I never want to leave it as he smiles softly at me. I sigh.

“Don’t tempt me or I’ll stay.” I tease and he grins.

“Now you’re getting the idea.” He says and I flush.

“I should go. Liz has been on my ass for the last few days. Developments with Gwen.” I lie and he chuckles.

“Ooo, sounds fun.” He says and I nod.

“Plus, I have to brag about my new boyfriend.” I point out and he rolls his eyes.

“Oh god, please tell me we aren’t gonna be that couple.” He groans and I laugh.

“Literally everyone knows how long I’ve liked you. It’s not going to be a quiet occurrence.” I tell him and he blushes.

“Oh geez.” He says, looking up. “Was I really that oblivious?”

“Yes.” I respond quickly and he sticks his tongue out at me. I laugh, running a hand through his hair. “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

“Brat.”

“Always.” I quip and he rolls his eyes.

“You’re lucky you’re cute, Osborn.” He says and kisses me. I raise an eyebrow.

“I’m cute?” I ask and he nods.

“You’re adorable, with those stupid blue eyes of yours.” He says and something clicks in my head.

Blue eyes.

“That poem was about me, wasn’t it?” I ask and he flushes, so I know he knows which I’m referring to.

“Yeah.” He admits and I grin. God, this whole thing is almost too much as I kiss his lips again. After all these years of pining hopelessly after my best friend, he’s in my arms, kissing me, and I know he feels the same and I have no idea how. I know I don’t deserve it. I know I don’t deserve him, what with everything that’s going on, but all I know if that if I get to have him, I can’t let the chance slip away.

So I kiss him with a grin, because he likes me. And while this whole thing may be shitty, it’ll be okay. I just have to keep him safe until I figure all this out.

 

* * *

  

I apparently _wasn’t_ lying when I said there were Gwen developments.

I’ve been laying on Liz’s bed for over an hour while she gushes about Gwen, basically telling me everything about their interactions. I guess there is a lot since they’ve been working nonstop on their project, but I never realized that Gwen’s eyes were the exact shade of blue as the sky when looking out of the dance studio window during rehearsal during the summer. I frankly don’t know if I ever cared to know that.

But it’s nice to hear. I don’t know if Liz has ever had a serious crush, and it’s nice to know that she actually has a chance with Gwen. Gwen seems quite taken with her as well, but knowing her, nothing will happen until after the expo.

Liz flops on the bed next to me, not even sparing me a glace as she speaks.

“How’s the boyfriend?” She asks and I bite my lip.

“He’s good. Feeling better.” I respond and her head darts up.

“I said boyfriend and you didn’t instantly deny it.” She says and I nod.

“That’s right.” I tell her and she shrieks.

“Oh my god!” She gasps before her smile falls. “Oh my god. And he doesn’t know.” She points out and I nod.

“I know.” I grumble and she sits on her bed.

“You gonna tell him?” She asks and I shrug.

“How can I? I still don’t know what this is.” I remind her and she leans towards me.

“But the minute you do, you tell him.” She demands and I nod.

“I know.”  I agree and she nod. She lays down, propping her head on her hands.

“So, I need details. Is he a good kisser?” She asks and I flop next to her on the bed.

“Yes.” I admit, grinning. “He has no idea what he’s doing, but he grins the whole time and he isn’t too sloppy and it’s great.” I gush and she smiles.

“That’s so cute.” She concludes and I grin along with her.

“He knows how long I’ve liked him and he wasn’t freaked out. Even said he’s liked me for while too.” I say and she pats my back.

“That’s great, Harry.” She responds and I smile, but it’s a bit forced.

“This whole thing happened because I hurt him.” I remind her and she nods.

“You’ll tell him eventually and knowing Peter, he’ll get it. He gets the whole privacy thing.” She assures me and I shake my head.

“Still. How could I ever hurt him?” I ask and she sighs.

“Well, now you can make up for it.” She tells me, sitting up. “Figure out what this is and fight it.” She says and I nod. She’s right. This is something I can fix. I just need the to figure out the serum.

“We know the onset takes while, so I need to make an antidote.” I conclude and she nods.

“So, we have to figure out a jackel antidote.” She says and flops to the side of the bed to grab her backpack, pulling out a notebook.

“The only thing I know so far is that I was shocked awake last time. I don’t know if anything else was done before then.” I inform her and she nods.

“Okay. Well, we have one thing that will help now, I suppose.” She says and I frown.

“We’ll have to get blood samples at my lab.” I explain and she sighs.

“Didn’t you say you couldn’t figure this out before?” Liz points out and I run a hand through my hair, thinking back to that project. I had labeled it as toxic for a reason, but who knows if he altered it or if so, by how much?

“We’ll start from scratch. We don’t have room for any miscalculations.” I decide and she shudders and I know exactly what she’s thinking about.

Raymond Warren was exposed to his serum so many times that his genes permanently shifted.

I try not to think about that.

“I’m going to start tomorrow while I’m back at school.” I tell her and she nods.

“Get me a sample of your blood and I’ll do some research too. And I’ll need the formula for the serum you were testing. We can see if it’s a match.” She says and I smile.

“Thanks Liz.” I say and she smiles warmly.

“Anything for my favorite Lover Boy.” She jokes, ruffling my hair. “You just got your boy. I’m not gonna let Norman ruin this for you.” She answers and I frown before I can stop myself. Right, my father.

“I can’t tell him about this.” I say and she nods.

“Well I kind of figured.” She responds with a sarcastic tone and I sigh.

“I don’t know how I’m going to handle this.” I think out loud and she frowns.

“You’re going to have to go home. I know that, as much as I don’t want you to. Just avoid him until we can figure this out.” She reasons and I nod.

“I think that’s all I can do at this point.” I say and she nods.

“We’ll get this.” She tries to comfort me and I shrug.

“We don’t have a choice.”


	19. Romantic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we get to calm down for a chapter and I love it. My sons deserve REST.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the chapter:)

_**Peter's POV** _

 

It’s raining.

My first day back and it’s pouring freezing rain.

Aunt May walks me to the subway and coffee in my hand and aspirin in my backpack as she dotes over me. “If you need anything, text me or Harry. He can get to you faster, so if you’re feeling faint, then…”

“I’m fine.” I assure her and she smiles.

“Okay.” She responds as we walk. “Also, I know I joked about it, but are you sexually active?”

“Oh my god.” I groan and she puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Sorry, but you’re new to the dating thing and I read that testosterone makes you more interested in that kind of thing and…”

“Aunt May, I am not sexually active.” I respond and she sighs.

“Thank god.” She relaxes and I chuckle. The looks over at me. “If you do become sexually active, just be safe. You’re still taking your birth control, right?” She asks and I close my eyes, trying to drown down my embarrassment.

“Yes.” I respond and she sighs.

“Good.” She says as we get close to the station. “You know, I’m happy you’re dating him.” She tells me and I almost sigh in relief.

“Thank you.”

“He’s still getting the shovel talk.” She insists and I look up at her, chucking in disbelief.

“You walked in and told us to put a sock on the door. I think you lost your chance.” I remind her and she rolls her eyes.

“It’s your first boyfriend. I have certain duties to fulfill. And _you_ still haven’t fulfilled your shovel talk.” She reminds me and I nod.

“I have every intention to, don’t worry.” I wave her off as we get to the station. I hug her before going in.

“Bye Aunt May.” I wave and walk in, taking a sip of my coffee and thanking the fact that the light in here is dim. I make it to the station and take the bus to the next stop, texting Miles to meet me there. One I get off at the station, he’s there, not in costume, and pulling me into him arms. I stand stiffly.

“You idiot.” He says and I raise an eyebrow.

“Well now I’m just confused.” I respond and he pulls away, putting his hands on my shoulders.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were that hurt? I could’ve helped!” He scolds me and I frown.

“Miles, I’m fine now.” I respond, trying not to wince when I walk into the light. He sighs.

“I got Anya to drive us today. Wait a few days to get back into spider mode.” He tells me and as much as I want to get back into things, it’s probably best that I don’t. My head is pounding and I really don’t want to spill my coffee.

He walks me to Anya’s car and she gets out to hug me, surprising me even more. But I guess it makes more sense. She doesn’t know exactly how I got hurt.

“Oh my god, you worried us sick!” She exclaims and I frown.

“Sorry.” I respond, recoiling at her loud proclamation. She scowls.

“Are you ready to go back? You look awful.” She says honestly and I nod.

“I’m caught up on the work, so I know I can focus again.” I tell her and she nods.

“Fair enough.” She responds and we move to get in her car.

By the time I’m in poetry, I’m already tired. Gwen wakes me up at least three times in the class with a worried gaze and I brush her off. The doting gets annoying quickly. Even Harry wasn’t as bad as the three of them when he watched me, though I was asleep for almost the entire first half of the week, and then kissing him the second half.

I walk to the lab for lunch with Anya walking closely next to me, as if she expects me to fall over. I roll my eyes.

“You know it’s just my head, not my legs.” I tell her and she raises an eyebrow.

“Well I have yet to see you walk in a straight line today, so sorry for being concerned.” She points off and I scowl. Maybe I’m not doing as well as I thought.

I sit down in the lab and pull my phone out of backpack. I notice all of the lights are out in the room as I pick it up, but once I light up the screen, I can’t even look at it because of how bright it is. I pocket it quickly as Gwen sits next to me.

“So, have you been doing the reading?” She asks and I shrug.

“Mostly. Physics was a little confusing, to be honest.” I tell her because there were some advanced parts in it. Half of it was easy, mostly about what my Stark project is about, but the other half made my head hurt more, so I gave up.

“It wasn’t too bad if you go back to the basics.” Anya says and I pull my book out of my bag.

“Then can you explain how the solids were converted into waves, because that lost me.” I say as Miles joins us and we get into a study group.

The nice thing about Horizon is that for seniors, we get two free hours. One of mine is before lunch and the other is at the end of the day. Miles is the same, but the girls only have the same one before lunch, so this is technically our study hall. We normally don’t do this unless one of us is really struggling, but this isn’t something that happens often.

Frankly, I’ve never been too terribly injured since becoming Spider-Man. Of course, there are the constant cuts and bruises, but never anything like this. It makes me more nervous as my headache starts to fade.

Coming back to school means I’m going to have to work back into being Spider-Man as well, but I can’t show my face too much. Or... mask. As far as I’m concerned, my mask is what will attract the Green Goblin since there have been no sightings since I’ve been bedridden.

Maybe it’s about time Miles and I worked out the kinks on the stealth suit. I trashed it freshman year, but it could be pretty convenient right about now.

My headache finally clears enough for me to check my phone and I realize I have texts from Harry.

 

 

 **Harry:** I hope you’re having a good first day back! Aunt May told me to remind you to get your lunch before going to class.

 

The text had come hours ago, but I only just got it, realizing I did forget a lunch. I grin as I read the second text he sent.

 

 **Harry:** oh, and I decided I’m taking you on a proper date after we catch up on school work.

 

“Why are you so happy about elastic wave surfaces?” Anya asks in disbelief and I shake my head, locking my phone.

“Nothing. Where were we?” I ask, but none of them look convinced.

“What, you meet someone while you were bedridden for a week?” Miles asks and I feel my cheeks flush as I look down at my book.

“Microwaves are pretty interesting, aren’t they?” I point out and Gwen gasps.

“No. Way.” She exclaims and I internally swear. She was the one that delivered my books home. She knows who was with me all week.

“What?” Anya interjects.

“I’m lost.” Miles says and I hear a voice behind me.

“Babe, I brought lunch.” Harry says from behind me and my blush just gets darker. Miles and Anya gape at me while Gwen grins.

“Holy shit.” Miles whispers into the air as Harry’s footsteps approach. I turn to look up at him and he pecks my lips with no warning, leaving me a previously undiscovered shade of crimson.

“You two?” Anya watches and Harry chuckles.

“I know.” He responds happily and Gwen laughs.

“I’m just surprised you finally got the courage to do it.” She tells us and the other two just look at each other and shrug. I look up to Harry, who just smiles down at me.

“How did you know I forgot?” I ask and he chuckles.

“Because you’re getting over a concussion and you normally forget it anyways. Plus, you have read receipts.” He tells me and god, I’m probably grinning like an idiot again. That’s what I get for dating my best friend, I suppose. “I have to get going, though.” He tells me with a peck on the forehead before heading back towards the door.

“Aren’t you gonna stay for a bit?” I ask and he glances back over at me.

“I can’t. My dad is on my ass about missing so much, but I wanted to see you.” He responds and I stand up and walk over to him, putting my hand on his cheek as I lean up to kiss him.

“Thank you.” I murmur in the air between us and he pecks my lips in return.

“Always.” He says and backs out of my arms. “I really have to go, though.” He says and I nod, moving to walk back to my seat.

“Okay, bye. Good luck with your work.” I call, still looking back towards him and he grins as he waves.

“You too, babe.” He says the pet name again and I blush as I turn back towards the group. Their reactions don’t help. They’re all gaping at me as I settle back down. I stiffly pick up my book.

“So. Microwaves?” I start only to be followed by three people shouting different things at me as I sit in shock.

“Oh my god!”

“How long has this been happening?”

“Finally!” 

What surprises me most of all the reactions is that the last one doesn’t come from Miles. It comes from Gwen.

“What do you mean, ‘finally’?” I ask and she laughs as if I just asked where babies come from.

“I mean, it was obviously going to happen.” She says and I raise an eyebrow and look to the others, who just shrug.

“I mean, it was kind of inevitable. You two are perfect for each other.” Anya adds and that has me laughing nervously.

“So are we going to talk about microwaves?” I try to change the subject, but they cling to it like a symbiote.

“How did it finally happen?” Miles asks and I sigh.

“You guys really don’t want me to catch up on my work.” I grumble and Gwen rolls her eyes.

“Your Stark project literally uses microwaves. Don’t try that with me.” She scolds and I sigh.

“We were just talking and he kissed me and I kissed back and we continued to do that for a while.” My face is turning more and more red the more I talk about this and Gwen and Anya squeal.

“What were you talking about?” Miles questions with an eyebrow wiggle and I roll my eyes.

“That’s between the two of us.” I tell him and Anya leans forward.

“So how did you make it official?” She asks and I raise an eyebrow.

“Official?” I ask and they all give me curious looks.

“How did he ask you to be his boyfriend?” Miles asks and I flush.

“It was kind of mutual. It came up casually and we both just agreed.” I tell them and they smile.

“You two look anything but casual.” Anya says and I shrug.

“I mean, we had a bit of an adjustment period considering I didn’t leave bed for a few days.” I say and all of their eyes widen.

“Oh wow.” Miles says and I raise an eyebrow before it connects in my head.

“No! N-not like that!” I shout and others around us turn at my outburst. Anya and Miles laugh while Gwen raises an eyebrow.

“So you didn’t…”

“I’m a virgin.” I assure and she nods.

“So you were in bed together for a week, started dating, and didn’t do it?” She asks and I shrug.

“Is that so weird?” I ask and Miles shakes his head.

“Not weird. Just uncommon.” He admits and Anya smiles.

“It’s sweet. I mean, all of it. It’s romantic.” She says and I flush.

“So back to homework…” I say and they finally follow the flow of the conversation, allowing me to stop blushing.

Well, at least no one said I told you so.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Your midterm will be a poetry reading in Manhattan. It’ll be at night, but you are all required to come.”  Professor Newman announces and the class groans. I swallow. Reading what I write in front of people sounds terrible, and being graded on it? The professor smiles, almost laughing at the reactions. “It will be an open mic night, so bring some friends. It might be fun to see new sides of people.” She says and Gwen chuckles.

“Maybe we can finally make Anya sing.” She suggests and I shake my head.

“She will rip my poem to shreds.” I point out and she shrugs.

“Not if you write about something that matters to you.” She says and I shrug.

“I don’t know.” I say and she ruffles my hair.

“Calm down, Peter. I have to read too.” She reasons and I shrug.

“But you’re good at this.” I say and she scoffs.

“And so are you. Let’s try to get the others to come with us. It’ll be nice right before the expo.” She proposes and I decide that it’s a good idea. Something nice while everyone is stressed out over the expo.

“Fine.” I say and she smiles as she grabs her backpack. I’m about to leave with her when Dr. Newman calls me up to her desk. Gwen raises an eyebrow as she and the other trickle out and I shrug. Once everyone leaves, Dr. Newman closes the door. She sighs before turning to me.

“You know my class is a participation class.” She starts and I frown.

“Is this about me being gone? Because I had an injury and…”

“I know, but you grade was suffering before.” She reminds me and I frown.

“Is there anything I can do to fix this?” I ask and she smiles, crossing her arms as she leans back against her desk.

“That’s actually why I kept you back, Mr. Parker.” And I raise an eyebrow. She continues. “I think you have potential to be a great writer.” She explains, and I find myself confused.

“Oh. Well, thank you.” I answer and she nods.

“It’s true. You're a lot more romantic than most scientists." She tells me and I try may best not to flush as she continues. Geez, I guess Harry has made me into a complete sap. "But you need to practice more. So, if you write a well thought out poem every week for class, I’ll give you a passing grade no matter how you do for the rest of the semester.” She tells me and my eyes widen.

“Wow, I’m honored, but…”

“This isn’t a request, it’s an assignment.” She tells me and walks behind her desk to look at her grade book. “You’ve had a four-point GPA all three years, and the only reason you’re not now is because you’re taking AP classes, which you’re also acing. You currently have a low ‘B’ in this class and I don’t want to be the one to mess this up for you.” She tells me, looking up at me. “Don’t see this as a bad thing. Just keep a journal. It might actually be a good outlet for you.” She tells me and I sigh. Well I suppose I have to at this point.

“Okay, I’ll do it.” I tell her and she smiles.

“I expect great things, Mr. Parker.” He tells me and I smile as I walk out of the room.

Maybe I am okay at this.


	20. Father

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. I'm about to have finals and I'm doing teaching observations and my sister has her senior concerts so basically, I'm booked to the minute. I'll try to update as regularly as I can and I'm sorry that it's taken me so long.
> 
> Here's the new chapter! Triggers are literally everything about Norman Osborn as a person.

_**Harry's POV** _

 

I fall onto the ground after my rehearsal, breathing heavy. Natasha is running me crazy today to make up for a full week off. I don’t know if I’ve taken a full week off in years, but she isn’t pleased that I didn’t warn her.

“You know, all things considered, your posture is better today.” She tells me and I scowl up at where she leans over me.

“Gee, thanks.” I respond bitterly and she smirks, glancing down at me.

“I hope you finally made out with him to make this worth it.” She jokes, but I smirk.

“Oh, it was worth it.” I agree and she raises an eyebrow.

“About time.” She tells me and offers a hand to where I’m still panting. I take it as she pulls me to my feet.

“Again.” She says and before I can protest, the door opens.

“Hey, Nat, I have to talk to you.” A voice says from the door and I turn to see Bruce Banner at the door. He raises an eyebrow when he sees me and I swallow. Dr. Banner is one of the biggest names in the science world, next to Tony Stark. My father knows him from some class he taught a long time ago. If he catches wind of this...

“I know you.” He tells me and I swear I stop breathing.

“Babe, don’t you-”

“You were the kid that dressed up like a horse’s rear on Halloween a few years back.” He says and I pause.

Wait. What?

“I don’t…” I start, but then I realize exactly what he’s talking about. He was there the night that Shammas turned into a werewolf at Horizon’s dance, about three years ago now.

“You have quite the memory for someone who turned into the Hulk twice.” I respond and he shrugs.

“Eh, sometimes it suits me to use my mind.” He says and walks over to shake my hand before turning to Natalie.

“Did you really call me babe?” He asks and I realize with a jolt that this must be Natasha’s boyfriend. She’s mentioned him in passing, but never really gave a name. I decide to set aside that knowledge for now.

“What do you need?” She asks and crosses her arms, making him shrug as if to say, “I tried”.

“Tony needs you. We made a development.” He says and she sighs.

“Couldn’t you have literally waited an hour? I’m punishing him.” She bites and he raises an eyebrow.

“What…”

“I missed a week.”

“Ah.” He answers shortly and I shrug.

“Let’s just pick up on Thursday. I should probably get some homework done anyways.” I assure her and she sighs.

“Give me a minute to put on normal shoes.” He tells Dr. Banner and he nods, walking out without another word.

“So where are you thinking of going to college?” Natasha asks suddenly as I go to grab water and I shrug.

“I’m not sure. I’m sending a few applications out of state, but I have my eye on Columbia or NYU.” I tell her, only a small lie in my voice. I mean, other placed said they were interested in me, but I never sent an application out of state. Now more than ever, I don’t know what would happen if I leave. Plus, New York is where I’ve always been. It has it’s good and bad, but it’s home.

“Have you considered Julliard?” She asks and I pause.

“Wait, what?” I ask and she shrugs.

“I sent a recommendation in a while ago and they have scouts coming to our final recital.” She tells me, but there’s a nervous scoop in her posture. I frown.

“You could’ve told me before you did it.” I tell her and she grins, as if she was expecting worse.

“So, your considering?” She asks as I sip on my water and consider her words. Julliard isn’t a school that I’ve put much thought into, but part of me is almost giddy about the prospect. I never even considered performance school, mostly because I don’t perform outside of a classroom, but that doesn’t mean I can’t.

Still. It seems a bit sudden. There are a lot of things going on right now, and becoming public with my dancing just isn’t something I have time to think about.

“I’ll think about it.” I tell her and she shrugs.

“Fair enough. I gotta run, though.” She tells me and I wave her off.

“Have fun with your boyfriend.” I tell her and she snorts.

“You too, twerp.” She ruffles my hair and jogs out of the room, leaving me to finish closing the studio. Though, frankly, I don’t know if I want to go home either.

I stand up, walking over to the speaker and plugging in my own phone, playing the first song that turn on.

Then, I dance.

I’ve always loved dancing alone, because it’s easy just to throw yourself into it; no one watching or judging or critiquing. It’s one of the reasons I kept dancing after my mom died. Natasha tells me I show my emotions in my movement, like a bit of my soul flows out with the sweat. A bit of a gross analogy, but I understand the sentiment. It’s ironic, I suppose, too. She says my mom was the same way.

I’ve always been more like my mom than my dad. More emotional and open with it, as well. I used to hate it, but now after seeing everything with my father, I find that I don’t mind it.

Though right now, my movements feel as lost as I am. I don’t know what I’m doing, if I’m being honest. I started reviewing my research from before, but the genetic algorithm seems almost impossible to manipulate into whatever could possibly be controlling me.

I didn’t understand the serum in its original form, so how the hell am I excepted to do it now?

And why does all of this have to happen now? Right when I finally get the nerve to confess that I have feelings for Peter? He’s back in school and I have a date with him on Friday, but that seems kind of stupid when I don’t even know if I can control my body at all times.

What the hell is even in me?

But he’s been so great. Hell, he’s the reason I was able to keep sane the week after this happened. Even if I did hurt him, he made me feel better. Maybe that has something to do with kissing for half of it, but regardless. The way he held me and kissed me and everything he said… it made me feel like I matter.

It seems stupid, but I sometime feel like without my family name, I’d be nothing. I’m a decent scientist. Hell, a large part of the reason I got into science is so I could please my father.

I laugh. That seems pathetic, knowing what I know now.

The song, or maybe the second or third song, ends and I pull my phone from the speaker. I guess I have to face the music sometime.

My father isn’t the man I thought he was.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It almost feels ominous in my lab. I have to finish the school year, but I’m not staying here. I already have a bag packed to take to Liz’s so I don’t have to stay here. I can’t. The idea scares me too much.

But I don’t even want to be here. I want to be as far away from my father as possible. I’m thankful that Peter and I are almost done with our project so we don’t have to spend too much extra time here.

Dating Peter has been the highlight of the last few week, but it’s like the rest of it has been marked out with a marker.

I never thought I would ever get the chance to date him, let alone have it be so great. It’s almost no different except that he’s a bigger fan of cuddling now and he flirts openly with me. We still work the same and we still talk the same.

It’s perfect, honestly, even if all we’ve been doing recently is working on projects and homework, what with the end of the semester coming up.

But being here alone, even with Shammas, has me on my toes. Shammas is working on something across the lab when the door opens. I try not to flinch.

“Harry.”

“Get the hell out of my lab.” I bite and my father laughs as Shammas’s head dart in my direction at my disrespectful tone.

“I think you forget that this is technically my lab.” My father tells me as I turn towards and my eyes narrow. I hate when he pulls that card.

“What do you want?” I ask and he shrugs.

“To see my son?” He says and I roll my eyes.

“Cut the shit.” I tell him and he turns towards the door.

“Come with me.” He demands and I’m frankly scared to say no. I don’t know what he’ll do these days.

I follow him onto the elevator his own lab, which is strange on its own. I’ve never been allowed into his lab. It’s been one of those rules that I’ve known my whole life. It’s where he and his best inventors work; a professional-only zone.

As the elevator door opens, though, I’m shocked to see that it looks more like a warehouse than a lab. Maybe because it takes up a full floor, but it’s filled to the brim with experiments and creations I’ve never seen before.

Toomes looks at me with wide eyes as I pass him, as if he didn’t expect to see me. I wonder if any of them know I’m the Green Goblin other than the lab techs that helped me when I was in the back of that van.

It isn’t until I look up that I notice that my father is talking to me, giving me a tour. I look around at the experiments and honestly, I marvel at them. They’re things I didn’t think were possible, like cyborg prosthetics and surgical developments; chemical research and

But as I follow my father, I notice one thing.

Weapons.

 _Lots_ of them.

I look around as I take it in. There’s everything from armors to guns to bombs that look a little too familiar for my liking.

“That’s my work from when I was at Horizon.” I point out and he smiles.

“Yes, it is. It’s been modified for a larger explosion.” He tells me and my eyes narrow.

“It was never meant to explode. That was a flaw in the programming.” I point out and he nods.

“Well, we can all learn from our mistakes.” He says as if it’s noble and he’s noble and it makes me sick.

“Why are you doing all this?” I ask and he sighs.

“Harry, you have to understand that I need to get rid of Spider-Man.” He says and I look around. It’s sad that he’s doing all of this, when he has so much in here he could be doing good with. He could be working to make the world better; make life better for people rather than trying to end them.

“I don’t understand why.” I admit and he sighs.

“It starts with him. He’s the symbol of hope around here. If we crush him, we crush that. Then we move on to the other Avengers.” He says and I just gape at him. He wants to destroy the Avengers?

“Why?” I ask, voice cracking under the sheer weight of what he’s asking me to do. He turns to me with an almost manic face, as if he doesn’t understand why I don’t.

“Because the world was in its proper state before those mutants showed up and we need to return it to that.” He tells me and I shake my head.

“Then keep my out of it.” I demand and he just laughs.

“Oh Harry, you can’t stop it now.” He says and I look over to where Toomes is still watching us with wide eyes. Have they been planning this? Did my father go too far? Well, obviously he did, but if Toomes was working with him on this, that means that he worked without consulting him.

I turn back to my father, who is looking around at his arsenal and I shake my head. This is sick and I won’t do it. Or, if I really don’t have control over this, I won’t just be his compliant little puppet.

Not anymore.

“Then I refuse to cooperate.” I tell him and he sighs long-windedly.

“Please don’t make me into the bad guy, Harry.” He asks and I scoff.

“You did that yourself.” I respond and turn to leave, only to be stopped by an arm around my wrist and a needle in my arm. I look up with wide eyes to meet cold ones.

“Norman, what the hell!?” Toomes screams out and as the venom rushes through me. It’s more intense than last time, making me fall to my knees if front of my father, who just walks away uncaringly.

“You don’t have a say in this, Harry.” He calls back and leaves the room and it feels like my head is being beaten in. I look down at my hand to see it turning green and I instantly start to panic.

That’s when a shock goes through my body that has me falling onto the floor screaming. I lay on the floor and try to even my breath, looking at my hand, which is no longer turning green. It’s actually going back to normal.

“Just try to calm down. That should counteract it for now.” Toomes says as he kneels down. I take a breath.

“What the hell was that?” I ask and he sighs.

“The shock stops your heartbeat for a second, which gives your white blood cells enough time to fight the venom without it circulating.” He tells me, lifting me so I’m sitting upright. I take another breath.

“How do you know all this?” I ask and he sighs.

“One of our partners was exposed to the venom for too long and died. We had to start taking precautions.” He tells me and I almost stop breathing all together.

“You’re telling me this can kill me?” I ask and he nods.

“You’re going to have to be careful. I know you’re not in control in that mindset, but you’re going to have to find someone to help you. I hate to say it, but I don’t know if it’ll be your father.” He tells me and I nod.

I slowly work by way back to my feet and back to my lab. When the door opens, Shammas turn towards me and his eyes widen.

“Are you okay?” He asks and I raise an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” I respond and he walks over to me.

“You look green. Are you getting sick?” He asks and I try not to laugh at the irony.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” I lie to him and he nods.

“Maybe you got sick from that friend of yours.” He suggests and I shake my head.

“He just had a concussion. Don’t worry.” I tell him and he raises an eyebrow.

“Him too?” He asks and I find myself confused by that.

“Who else had one?” I ask and he pulls out his phone.

“Tony Stark posted that Spider-Man isn’t dead. He just had a head injury.” He tells me and I frown.

People thought he was dead?

_How badly did I hurt him?_


	21. Secret Identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long fluffy chapter long fluffy chapter long fluffy chapter.
> 
> This was so fun to write. I love writing really flustered people. This was way too fun to write.
> 
> Also, I'm starting to put little ideas into Peter's head that are important to the story. Be sure to keep an eye out for some of those. He's an anxious boi.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it and have a nice day.

_**Peter's POV** _

 

“Why would you do that?” I ask while on the phone with Tony. I had told him I had a concussion and next thing I know, he had posted about my concussion.

“Because people thought you were did. After seeing that video, _I_ thought you were dead.” He tells me and I groan.

“I went to the hospital! There are records! I had someone watching me for a week because of it who doesn’t know my secret identity!”

“Why don’t they know?”

“Does a _secret identity_ ring a bell?” I scold and he chuckles.

“You know, nobody but Natasha is this rude to me.” He says and I sigh.

“Well, she also has a secret identity.” I point out and he laughs.

“Listen, Spidey, just relax and focus on recovery. I doubt anyone put two and two together.” He says and I scowl.

“What if Norman did?” I ask and he chuckles, as if the idea is stupid.

“No offense, but I doubt your secret identity is on his radar.” He says and I shake my head. I can’t tell him that Harry was the one that took care of me or I’ll be traceable and he’ll be able to know who I am. I’ve kept it down to just Miles over the span of four years, and I intent to keep it that way.

“Just don’t do it again.” I bite and he sighs.

“Fine. I’m sorry, Spidey.” He says and I shrug to myself.

“We’ll talk more about what happened later. I’m at school right now.” I tell him and he hums.

“Yeah, wouldn’t want Norman to hear you.” He says and I chuckle, looking down at my hand to see that I can’t see it. It’s Friday, almost a full week since I’ve been back, and it’s going to be my first night back on patrol. We’re working on my stealth suit, but the reflectors just don’t do well to any water or body temperature at all, really.

And now I have Tony Stark’s big mouth to worry about.

“I’m at school. I don’t have to worry about that.” I tell him and he lets out an “ah hah”.

“So you don’t go to Os Academy!” He says and I swear I hear other people in the room arguing. I pause.

“Are you all this desperate to find out who I am?” I ask and I vaguely hear Black Widow swear.

“Sorry Spidey.” Captain America says and I roll my eyes.

“I gotta go.” I answer tiredly and hang up. And I thought _I_ was the teenager.

Well this makes things a lot more complicated. If Harry told Norman that I had a concussion and he was watching me, and he’s already suspicious of me, then it wouldn’t be hard to put two-and-two together.

“You really need to stop talking to yourself.” Miles says from where he’s perched on my desk.” I sigh.

“I was on the phone.” I tell him and he laughs.

“But you didn’t stop talking after you hung up.” He tells me and I scowl.

“What if people figure it out?” I ask, changing the subject and he shrugs.

“I doubt anyone will notice. I bet hundreds of people in New York get concussions daily.” He says and I frown. “By the way, I can still see you, Peter.” Miles informs me and I frown as I look down at me hand, the black and green costume visible again.

“This is getting annoying.” I grumble and he laughs, pulling my mask off as I slump into my chair.

“Peter, this might not be necessary. I mean, we haven’t seen the Green Goblin in about a month, and you’ve been on patrol again.” He points out and I frown. He’s not wrong. It’s my first day back since I got hurt and there have been no signs of anything lately.

“Maybe that’s why I’m worried. Cause there’s been _nothing._ ” I remind him and he scowls.

“Don’t worry about nothing. We’ll cross this bridge when it comes. For now, just get rid of the thermal tech in the suit so you stop sweating.” He tells me and I chuckle.

“Sounds like a plan.” I confirm and he turns away from me.

“Now strip. I’ll take it.” He tells me and I tilt my head, confused.

“Don’t you have to finish your project?” I ask and he shrugs.

“We’re almost done and you have that poem thing too.” He reminds me and I smile, starting to pull off my suit.

“You’re the best.” I say and he laughs.

“Please never say that again while getting naked.” He jokes and I chuckle.

“Brat.”

“Bitch.”

“I feel like whenever I walk in on you two, it’s something weird.” Anya says behind me and I shriek, pulling the suit to my chest. She laughs.

“Don’t look so traumatized, I see him naked every night.” She tells me and I remember that this suit looks a lot like Miles’. She probably just thinks I’m helping him with his. I’m about to casually mention it when something crosses my mind.

“Every night?” I gape at Miles as he hands me my pants and he shrugs.

“Maybe not _every_ night, but pretty often.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“Don’t you get nervous about pregnancy?” I ask Anya and she doesn’t even flinch at the question. Guess she’s used to my blunt nature. It’s Miles who answers, surprising me.

“The spider venom made me infertile.” He tells me and I feel my eyes widen as he says it.

“That happens?” I ask and he nods.

“Well yeah. Venom tends to mess with that kind of thing.” He points out and I frown. It’s not as though I ever thought of having kids, plus I’ve been on birth control since before high school, but I guess I never thought about checking.

“Hm.” I answer shortly, handing Miles the suit when it’s on and Anya gasps.

“Holy shit, you’re jacked.” She exclaims and I chuckle. The spider venom made me a lot stronger than one would’ve thought. Though my structure is still lean, it’s obviously had to get more defined when I gained more strength. “How does that happen? You don’t even work out.” She asks and I frown, trying to think up a quick lie.

“I… do yoga.” I deadpan and Miles snorts for reasons unknown to Anya, who grins.

“You do yoga too?” She asks and I internally curse, remembering that Anya actually _does_ yoga.

“Yeah. Started not too long ago.” I say and she raises an eyebrow.

“What studio?” She asks and I try not to look too nervous.

“I’m… between studios right now.” I say and she smiles, looking excited at the information.

“You should come to mine!” She tells me with a grin and my stomach drops.

Well, it looks like I have to learn how to do yoga.

“That sounds great.” I tell her and she smiles.

“Good. We meet every Wednesday.” She informs me and turns to leave. Before the door is even closed, I turn to Miles.

“Shut up.” I say and he starts cackling, just like I knew he would.

“Yoga?” He laughs and I roll my eyes.

“I mean, how hard can it be?” I ask and he raises an eyebrow.

“Are you even flexible?” He asks and I give him a tired look.

“You do realize I’m Spider-Man, right?” I ask and drop into the splits to prove the point. He chuckles, shaking his head.

“Fair enough, Spidey. Now get up. You have shit to do.”

 

* * *

 

 

My patrol goes by without anything happening, which is nice. There was a small robbery, but nothing that actually was too difficult. People seemed relieved to have me going around in my red suit, but I think that stealth suit can be a safe precaution. I mean, if the Green Goblin down come back, I’m going to have to do some snooping to see what is happening.

That’s an _if_ , though. And I’m hoping it stays that way.

Luckily, I came out unscathed tonight as I change into my regular clothes. I’d normally wait until I got home, but Harry wanted to come over, so I probably shouldn’t risk it. Besides, I told him I’m in the city, so I can just ride back home with him.

I walk to Oscorps, texting him that I’m on my way, and shoot Miles a text that patrol went well. Frankly, I’m surprised with how easy it is, but this concussion is not treating me well. I’m ready to cuddle with my boyfriend and sleep until tomorrow afternoon.

Boyfriend. I smile at the thought. I don’t know why it took me so long to see how much I like him, but it’s more than I ever thought I could. It’s almost a bit scary, but feeling and I don’t go well together.

I’m about to put my phone back in my pocket when I get a call from Tony. I raise an eyebrow. Twice in one day? Did something happen?

I answer the phone, relieved to only hear a calm voice answer.

“Hey kid, I’m calling about that serum you gave me.” He starts and I nod.

“Did you guys get anywhere with it?” I ask and he sighs.

“Yes, but there’s no way that’s what that Green Goblin is using. This stuff isn’t that strong.” He tells me and I frown.

“Well that’s all we have to work with.” I tell him and he sighs.

“Can’t you get your connection to get a new sample?” He asks and I scowl.

“That connection was luck, I’m not lucky enough to get it twice.” I tell him, looking up as I approach the Oscorps building. Though, I suppose that whole incident wasn’t “lucky”. “Besides, if we’re lucky, that was a one-time thing.”

“You and I both know that’s not how this works.” He responds to that and I chuckle.

“Don’t remind me.” I tell him and he sighs.

“Well, get some rest, Spidey.”

“Hey Pete.” I hear Harry call from behind me and I can all but hear Tony raise an eyebrow.

“Pete?”

“I have to go.” I hang up quickly and turn to Harry, who has a smile on his face that makes mine reappear. He looks so much better than the last time I was here with him. His cheek doesn’t even have a bruise on it anymore, and the swelling is completely gone. He looks like my Harry.

I shake my head, laughing at myself. _My Harry._ Sappy, but I don’t think I mind it.

But what I find strange is the fact he’s forgone his normal outfit for a button down, slacks, and a blue tie. I raise an eyebrow.

“You look fancy.” I tell him and he walks up to me and pecks my lips.

“Well you see, I have a hot date tonight.” He tells me and I flush before realizing what he’s saying.

“Date?” I ask and He chuckles.

“I may have taken the liberty of planning our first date.” He tells me and my eyes widen.

“You should’ve told me! I thought we were just going back home. I would’ve tried to look a little nicer and…” He cuts me off by pressing his lips against mine. I find I don’t mind the interruption as he kisses me in slow movements. He pulls away and I pout.

“That’s not fair. I was trying to be upset.” I tell him and he smiles.

“I wanted to surprise you before things got busy again. I wanted to be romantic.” He tells me and pulls something from a hand I didn’t realize was behind his back. He hands me a bouquet of red carnations and I grin, shaking my head.

“Wow, and I thought I was going to be the sappy one.” I joke and he laughs.

“Peter, I’ve been pining after you for so many years. You don’t even know the half of sappy.” He laughs and I smile, taking the flowers only to use that arm to wrap around his neck and kiss him again. He smiles into it and when I pull away, he rests his forehead on mine.

“So, what do you have planned?” I ask and he tilts his head, looking at me with a lazy smile.

“Well, that would ruin the surprise.”

“I hate surprises.”

“I know, but I can at least _try_ to change your mind.” He jokes and I can’t even stop the dopey grin from spreading on my face. The fact he put in the time to plan out our first date makes me it hard not to grin at him, but I find that all I want is to hold him and fall asleep. The concept is nice, but I’m also excited to see what he has planned.

“Then lead the way.” I respond and he nods, breaking away from me only to grab my hand without flowers in them. He pulls me along and I blush as I move so I’m next to him, holding his hand as we walk down the street. It’s almost strange, being in public with him and being affectionate, but I find that I actually enjoy it. 

We eventually match pace, blending into the crowd as a couple of nobodies and it's relieving. Just faces in the crowd as he holds my hand, though I know _my_ face is dark red. I mean, Harry is taking us on our first date. I know we were supposed to do something tonight, but I just never saw us as date people and now he's taking me somewhere that he planned. It's just starting to sink in that this is real and Harry is my boyfriend.

God, he's my boyfriend. Will I ever stop grinning like an idiot when I hear that?

"Here we are." He says as we step in front of a place that's all too familiar to us. 

“Midtown?” I ask and he nods.

“Trust me.” He responds as he uses a ring of keys to let us in, locking the doors behind us. I let him lead me blindly thought the school until we’re in the science wing. Before I can ask again what we’re doing, we’re in front of the green house.

“Liz gave you the keys, didn’t she?” I say instead and he laughs.

“Sometimes you need a little help being romantic.” He jokes and opens the door and it’s any wonder that I don’t gasp at what I see as I walk in.

I knew Liz took over the botany club about two years ago, but looking around, it doesn’t seem possible. The room is completely covered in tropical plants, down to some vines that climb up the wall. There are dimmer lights that hang from the ceiling and the room is warm as Harry closes the door behind us.

In the middle of the room, there’s an open bit and I notice a blanket and a pizza laying on it, as if he knew that I hadn’t eaten. I try not to chuckle. Typical Harry.

“Wow.” I sigh in amazement, looking around. I look back at him and he smiles.

“There’s a reason Liz wants to be a botanist.” He says and I shake my head.

“This is beautiful.” I tell him and he nods.

“I thought it was better than some snooty, loud restaurant where we would have to yell just to talk.” He explains and I grin, taking a step towards him.

“You didn’t have to do this.” I say and he shrugs.

“But I did. I wanted to do this right.” He tells me and my hand moves to cup his cheek.

“Thank you, Harry.” I whisper and he sighs a laugh.

“Like I said, I want to do this right.” He tells me and I peck his lips, making both of us grin a bit. The peck turns into a kiss, though, as his arms wrap around my waist and my other wraps around his shoulders.

His lips move softly, so tenderly that it makes my heart ache. I find myself sighing into it, making him chuckle a bit before his tongue moves to explore my mouth. I do the same, pushing it against his and using my arm to pull him closer. Once we have the mind to break away, it takes me a bit just to open my eyes as I collect myself.

When my eyes open, I find them flitting away from his bashfully. He breathes a chuckle and I wonder if he’s as flustered as I am. Because I don’t know about him, but this is my first date with my first boyfriend and he’s kissing me in a way that makes it feel like the kiss means something and it’s making my stomach do stupid things.

My eyes meet his again and we’re still nose to nose, together in this little bubble of nervousness. But then again, it doesn’t feel like nervousness. I’m not scared with him, just curious as his eyes flicker to my lips and back to my eyes, eyelids heavy.

“We… uh… should…” He doesn’t finish the sentence and I chuckle at how distracted he seems, feeling my face flush.

“So, what did you have planned?” I whisper and he flushes as well before I realize what that probably sounded like. But he doesn’t react the way that probably sounded, though, as he speaks.

“Have I ever told you you’re beautiful?” He says randomly and my eyes flicker away nervously. He’s so close and saying such sweet words and I just don’t know how to handle it.

“You’re getting distracted, Harry.” I tell him and he chuckles, closing his eyes and I think I have my answer as to if he’s flustered as well.

“You’re very distracting.” He whispers back and I laugh. He opens his eyes and takes the hand from his face to pull me along. I let him as he walks me towards the blanket on the floor. He really thought of everything, down to music playing lightly in the background. I sit on the ground with him as he opens the box of pizza.

It’s weird, as we start to eat quietly, that I almost don’t know what to talk about with him. I mean, what constitutes as date conversation? I’ve never done this before, so it’s all a bit new.

But then Harry takes a bite from his pizza and a string of cheese hangs from his mouth and he stretches it to try and break it, and I snort.

_There’s no reason to be nervous. This is Harry._

He laughs as well, using his hand to cover his mouth as he chews his slice.

“As you can see, I’m quite suave.” He says with his mouth full and I bark out a laugh at that.

“That cheese pull was impressive.”

“Right though?” He responds enthusiastically and I chuckle as I take a bite out of my own slice. Figures a date with Harry is just like hanging out with Harry. I mean, it makes sense. We liked each other as friends, so it only seems right that our relationship would be an extension of that.

“So, how is school?” I ask with my mouth full and he seems to almost freeze.

“It’s okay. Just working on… future stuff.” He answers and I raise an eyebrow.

“Like college?” I ask and he pauses before shrugging.

“Yeah. I have a couple options I’ve been thinking about lately, all around here.” He tells me and I smile.

“So, you’re planning on staying in the city?” I ask and he nods, leaning back on his free hand.

“I mean, I love it here.” He answers simply and I nod in understanding. He opens a soda and takes a sip. “What about you? Any idea which school you’re thinking of?” He asks and I shrug. Ever since what happened with the Green Goblin, I haven’t had time to think about college. I mean, Stanford is offering me a full ride. How could I say no to that?

But I try not to frown as I look at Harry. We just started dating and I might be moving away. Plus, being a friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man is pretty hard if you switch neighborhoods.

Honestly, though, one of my first thoughts fall to Aunt May. I don’t think I could ever leave her alone after all she’s done for me.

But again, it’s _Stanford_.

“Not yet, but I have time.” I remind him and he nods.

“Very true.” He agrees and I chuckle, looking around

“You know, it’s kind of ironic that you chose the last school we went to together.” I point out and he laughs.

“I actually hadn’t thought about that, but it does see poetic.” He says and I sigh.

“You know, my parents met as students here.” I tell him and he smiles, but it’s a little bittersweet.

“Do you think about your parents?” He asks and I nod. My parents died when I was five. They were on a date night and I was with Aunt May and Uncle ben when the police come to the door, though I was asleep by then, I think. I don’t remember finding out until the next morning.

“Yeah, I do.” I answer honestly. Of course, I think about my parents; though frankly, I try not to. Some wounds are better left undisturbed. “Why do you ask?” I question and he shrugs.

“I’ve just been thinking about my mom a lot lately.” He admits and I nod. While Harry would never admit it out loud, I know he never got over his mother’s death. I mean, we were young when she died, but we were both so broken at the time, what with my parent’s death so close to it. He used to tell me that he blamed himself for their death, always brushing off my worry with a force smile. His words went away, but the forced smile never did.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask and he shrugs.

“I mean, I guess I was just thinking about what she’d be like if she were still here.” He tells me and I nod.

“I understand that.” I answer softly and he sighs as he stares at the ceiling. The fairy light’s glow bounces off of him and I can’t help but think that even while distraught, he’s tragically beautiful.

“I just wonder if she’d be proud of what I’m doing with my life.” He confesses and his words surprise me. I don’t know if I’ve even seen him so questioning of himself except for when I passed out after getting my concussion.

I put my hand on his chest and shift close to him, making him look to me again. “She’d be proud of you, no matter what, Harry.” I tell him and he smiles, in a way that seems a little forced, but not enough for me to call it out.

“She’d be damn happy I’m dating you.” He tells me and I chuckle, flushing. His mom is actually the person who gave me the name ‘Peter’. She found out I wanted to be referred to as a boy and spent a week researching names with similar letters to ‘Tera’. She was a very accepting woman, with a lot of love.

Despite how happy the thought makes me, I can still see him deflecting.

“Not that. With your work and your passions and the man you’re becoming.” I tell him and he rolls his eyes.

“You flatter me.” He responds and I know he’s trying to brush it off. I decide to let him.

“Well, there’s a lot of you to flatter.” I say and he raises an eyebrow as I consider my wording. “I mean, there are lots of flattering… I like you, okay?” I give up and he lets out a laugh, leaning towards me.

“I like you, too.” He responds and pecks my lips, which of course, turns into a couple. I laugh internally. If this is how all of our dates go, I hope we always have dates that aren’t in public, cause it’s so obvious we’re in the honeymoon phase, but I find that I don’t mind it in the slightest.

He pulls away with a small smile on his face, moving up to his knees.

“Dance with me.” He says and the request has me chuckling.

“I don’t dance.” I answer and he rolls his eyes.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t try.” He says and I look up at his hopeful eyes. When Harry and I were young, he used to take dance lessons. He’d try to teach me what he knew, but I was always bad at it. Hell, he used to dance with me and I would just step on his feet.

But still, he seems like he actually wants to, and I can’t find it in me to say no.

“Fine.” I answer and he stands, pulling me onto my feet.

“That was easy.” He jokes and I roll my eyes.

“I can still take it back.”

“No.” He just barely avoids cutting me off before wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. His other hand grabs mine and we sway to the music.

It’s not a complicated dance by any means, but it has me flushing and grinning as he holds me. It's like his body speaks for him as he moves, keeping me close as we sway together, him leading the way. I lean my forehead on his and he chuckles as he lets his eyes fall shut.

He’s beautiful. I can’t help but think it, with him this close. I don’t know if I never thought it before or I just never cared to pay mind to it, but he’s beautiful.

It’s funny, though. It’s not even right now, hair gelled like he does it every day and wearing a button down. Hell, I’d argue that he looks a bit pretentious right now, actually, but I think that’s just because I prefer him as I know him best; with bed-head and sleepy eyes and voice in a low, sarcastic grumble.

Though I like right now, as he opens his eyes. I like it a lot, actually, though it’s probably just him that I like. It honestly baffles me that it took me so long to realize, but I cut myself some slack. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been busy. He spins me around and back in front of him, a terrifying thought crosses my mind.

 _At this rate, I could fall for him,_ I think as his smile reaches those blue eyes of his. The thought freezes me as I look up at him, and he seem to notice.

What am I doing? I can’t fall in love with him. There are too many things that could hurt him. The number one thing being his _father_.

God, we kissed outside of Oscorps. That was so _stupid_. I mean, what if his father saw? If Norman is already onto me, then I’m just putting Harry in the middle. It's almost like I have two secret identities now. Spider-Man and Harry's boyfriend.

“Pete?” He asks, blue eye a bit worried and I frown.

_I need to make sure he stays safe. That’s all there is to it. This means nothing if I don’t know if he’ll make it out of this._

Besides, this isn’t love. But it could be, and for some reason, that terrifies me.

“Kiss me.” I whisper and he chuckles a bit.

“You could at least ask.” He jokes as he starts to lean in.

“Brat.”

“Always.” He answers and kisses me with a grin still lingering on his face and I can’t help but notice that we always end up smiling when we kiss. It’s always laughs and smiles and he kisses me in a way that makes my heart do stupid things.

This whole thing has been more than I could ever imagine, but I can’t help but feel like this is the only peace we’ll have. When we’re alone and out of the public eye, where we can’t be caught, cause I have people trying to kill me and one of which is his father. I care too much about Harry to drag him into this.

But for right now, as he pulls away and smiles down at me, I decide that it’s okay for now, to be at peace in our own bubble.


	22. Science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is going to be a rough chapter along with the next. Sorry about that. I'll probably post the next one soon, but they're both pretty tough. Sorry guys.
> 
> Trigger Warnings: memory suppression and dangerous science.

_**Harry's POV** _

 

“Listen Harry, you’re gonna lose.” Liz says next me and Anya rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, because Miles and I are going to win.” She says and Liz and Gwen respond in unison.

“Hell no.” They say and I faux gag.

“Get a room.” I groan and Anya chuckles.

“Thank you. So, you agree that Miles and I are gonna win.”

“Hell no, Pete and I are gonna win.” I respond and they all start arguing, making me chuckle. They all asked me over for the night since Peter and Miles work all night in preparation for the event with Max and Liz still isn’t too keen to on me being as home right now, so I’m scribbling in a notebook on her floor. But it’s funny. I’m friends with all three of these girls, but I’ve never been with all of them at one without one of the guys. I almost feel like I’m intruding on girl time.

But all of them are just fighting about science, which is no different than what Miles and I end up doing about eighty percent of the time, so I’m not all that worried.

“Just because you started dating doesn’t mean your machine is going to work off of love.” Gwen sasses and I roll my eyes.

“We’re testing it tomorrow, and if it works, then we win. No question.” I say and they all roll their eyes at my confidence, which reminds me. “By the way, what the hell is this poetry thing Pete is so nervous about?” I ask and Gwen sighs.

“Our class midterm is an open mic night at some coffee place and we have to read our stuff. He doesn’t like his writing.” She explains and I hum in understanding as Anya looks up.

“So, we’re all going, right?” She says and Gwen nods.

“I have to for class, but you all should come. Maybe also do an open mic thing. There are singers and improv troops that do this kind of stuff.” She explains and I nod.

“Seems like an interesting night.” I say and Liz raises an eyebrow.

“Hasn’t Peter been writing like, nonstop lately?” She points out and Gwen nods.

“He has extra homework because he missed a week and the teacher likes his writing. I think he secretly likes it, though.” She says and I chuckle.

“Sounds about right.” I say and look down at my notes. The problem is with the Jackel Serum is that I know whatever is in me is an altered version of it. I frown, looking down at it.

I’ve been working on this for about a month now and the main problem I’ve come across if that with my samples, I can’t tell what’s my genetic code and the serum’s.

“Since when do you take genetics?” Gwen asks and Liz stiffens next to her. I shrug.

“Part of my biology class.” I answer before something clicks in my head. Her uncle created this serum, and this is her specialty. Maybe I can get her help, even if I can’t tell her. “Hey, how do you reverse a genetic altering serum?” I ask and she glances at her phone, texting on it as she answers casually.

“You create another serum with the opposite code.” She explains and I scowl.

“But how do you account for dominant traits?” I ask and she clicks away as Liz pretends she isn’t listening intently. Anya is doodling in her notebook at this point, uninterested in the topic.

“If the serum is altering the genetics, then you don’t need to account for it. The subject’s original code can help as a double recessive and counteract it.” She explains and I nod.

“So, the only way to neutralize it is to counteract it?” I ask and she nods.

“Genetics are fickle. You can’t neutralize it with an opposing force.” She explains and Liz slumps a bit, probably thinking the same thing I am.

But what if I accidentally neutralize my _own_ genetic code?

Then I wouldn’t be able to change back at all.

 

* * *

 

“You don’t have to.” I tell Peter for the hundredth time. I offered to be the person to test the machine, after we talked about the risks. It could be damaging if it doesn’t work well, or if it works too well, it could be psychologically damaging. He brushes me off again.

“One of us has to do it.” He reminds me and I frown as he pecks my lips. “Let’s just make sure this works.” He says and I frown.

“Fine.” I say as I go to turn on the speaker, but he grabs my arm.

“Can you mute it?” He asks and I frown.

“We have to test to see if the sound works.” I remind him and he nods.

“Just use the headphones and don’t wear them. I’m sorry, but I don’t really like the idea of anyone in my head.” He admits and I hesitantly agree.

“We can do that.” I decide and he smiles.

“Thank you.” He sing-songs and pecks my lips.

“So are we going for a specific date or…” I ask and he shrugs.

“Let’s go deepest suppression. Let see how much this thing works.” He decides and I want to say something against it, but he seems set of this, plus we do need to test it as much as possible. He puts the headset on and sits in the chair.

The machine itself is a headset that hooks up to a speaker, a microphone, a control panel, and monitor, all connected to a power source. It sounds simple, but there’s such a specific mechanical structure to it that it can easily go wrong.

“Remember, there’s a button at the side to end it and I can talk to you if I think you may need help or-”

“I know, Harry.” He stops me and I smile at him.

“Okay.” I say, trying not to show my worry as I start up the machine. I do as he says and put the sound on headphones only, loud enough so I know the work but can’t hear what’s being said without wearing them.

I don’t know what I was expecting when it turned on, but it wasn’t Uncle Ben. Not how he looked back when we were young, or a police officer at the door. It only takes a moment before I realize what night this must be.

Peter stiffens in the chair. I resist the urge to turn it off.

I watch as Uncle Ben speaks with the police officer, and Peter looks up at Aunt May, who’s crying and my stomach sinks. This must be the night his parents died.

I look to Peter and find myself worried. He never told me he was there when he found out they died and I remember why.

He probably didn’t remember himself.

He’s shaking, physically in the chair and I imagine it’s because he was shaking then too.

I click on the mic. “Should we-”

“Not yet.” He says and I frown as he sits straighter, as if trying to seem okay. “I need to see something.” He whispers and it’s everything in my not to take the headset off of him, but I nod, letting him watch. I look away from the screen though, opting to watch him instead. It’s obvious that it works and this feels too intrusive.

It’s hard, to watch him look so in pain at his own memories and I frown. I know we had to test it, but this seems almost dangerously affective and his eyes squeeze shut before he stands. He rips the headset off of his head and sets it down, getting off of the chair as if it physically hurt him.

“Peter?” I ask and he blinks, looking at me for a second.

I don’t know if he realized something, or just wasn’t ready to relive it, but he looks shaken up. I take a step towards him and he flinches.

“I have to go.” He announces and all but sprints out of the room before I can get two words in. I frown.

Does their death really still affect him that much? I mean, I suppose I should’ve expected that. Uncle Ben’s death still gives him nightmares, so it figured that that would still get to him.

_And what did he suppress?_

He’s just always been so private. He never tells me these kind of things, no matter how much it gets to him.

I shut down our machine and sigh. I’ll try to talk to him when he calms down. The expo in is in a few days, so I’ll see him then.

_At least we know our invention works._


	23. Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter written for MONTHS now and it's still probably the hardest chapter I've had to write. LOTS of triggers for anyone who's parents have passed, parents who don't approve of them, or anyone who is trans. This chapter threw me off for days while writing it and if I don't post it now, even if I did just post a chapter today, I'm going to procrastinate.
> 
> So, without further ado, here's another new chapter. Sorry.
> 
> (Also, if you haven't already started to notice some of Peter's internal crises, then just know they're all going to become obvious soon enough after this.)

_**Peter's POV** _

 

_What did I just see?_

That isn’t what I remember.

The night my parents died, I thought I was asleep and I found out the next day but no, I was _with_ Aunt May and Uncle Ben. I was screaming and crying and I don’t know why.

What happened that night?

And why did the police hand Aunt May an envelope?

I find myself at home before I can think against it. I need answers and only one person can give them to me.

When I walk into the kitchen where Aunt May is, I have to take a breath before I speak. She couldn’t have kept this from me all this time.

_Right?_

“Aunt May?” I ask and she hums from where she’s cooking.

“Yes, Petey-poo?” She asks and I frown. I don’t really know how to even go about asking this.

 _Has_ she really kept this secret all these years? I mean, does she know more about how my parents died and just didn’t tell me?

She turns over her shoulder and raises an eyebrow, as if to ask why I’m so silent.

“Do you have that note from the night my parents died?” I blurt out and she drops her spoon onto the floor, as if shocked I even knew what I asked.

_Maybe she has been hiding this from me._

“You remember that night?” She asks and I nod.

“Yeah, I remembered it today.” I tell her with a frown. “Why did they give you a note?” I ask and her shoulder slump. A broken smile crossed her face and my heart clenches.

“I was supposed to wait until you were eighteen to give this to you.” She says and I find myself confused by her words as she turns off the stove, walking towards the stairs. I follow her to her room as she speed-walks through the house.

“Give me what? The note?” I ask and her eyes fall to the floor as she opens a drawer and pulls out a letter.

“I’m legally obligated to give you your part of your parent’s will when you turn eighteen, but I think it’s probably best I do it now.” She says and I raise an eyebrow.

“Their will?” I ask and she nods. I chuckle in confusion. “They were only twenty-five, though. Why would they have a will if…” My voice trails off as her eyes float to the ground and it hits me.

They knew they were going to die.

“They didn’t have much, but they left you a letter.” She tells me and hands it to me and I note that the seal is already torn.

It’s funny, how so far some of the most important files in my life are opened before I get to look at them.

“You read it?” I ask and she nods.

“I’m sorry. I knew about as much as you did. I opened it back then so I would know why they left and…” She says, but I just shake my head. She knew all this time and didn’t tell me.

“How could you do this, Aunt May?” I ask and she tears up.

“I was trying to protect you.” She says and I laugh because isn’t that ironic? Because this hurts like a bitch, so I can’t imagine what’s in this note.

“This wasn’t your decision to make.” I tell her and she nods.

“I know, but you’ve become such a wonderful man. I didn’t want to hurt you.” She tells me and I just stare at her for a moment before talking.

“They were my _parents,_ and all this time, I thought that their death was an accident.” I say and she hugs herself in a self-protective manner.

“And you’re my nephew. I was trying to do what was best for you.” She tells me and I shake my head.

“It wasn’t your place, Aunt May.” I demand and she looks down.

“I’m sorry, Peter.” She says and I shake my head, walking out of the room. Did she really think this would be better? Telling me all these years that it was an accident and that we didn’t know what happened? What could this note say that could be any worse?

I don’t even realize I’m back in my room until I’m putting on my stealth suit. Part of me wants to go Harry, so he can be here when I open it, but a larger part of me needs to get away from everyone.

Before I know it, I’m swinging form building to building, unseen by others. I find myself on a building on the outside of Queens before I finally settle down, finding a roof.

Do I really want to do this? Do I want to read this?

What was Aunt May trying to “protect” me from?

I close my eyes as I open the letter, looking down at the faded words.

 

_Dear Tera,_

_We love you. We should start out by saying that._

_When your mother was pregnant with you, I couldn’t have been more excited to have a baby girl. It was exciting to know you would be a mix of the two of us. Have her laugh, my love for writing, and we would live together as a big, happy family. And it was perfect, for a while._

_Norman and I used to look at you as both of our daughter. We both wanted one, ever since we were probably around the age you’re at now. And we were so lucky when your mother became pregnant with twins. Two twin girls._

_After you were born, we discovered that your sister hadn’t survived the full pregnancy. Your mother quickly became depressed, withdrawing from all of us. It was difficult. The feeling of losing a child is unbearable, but I still had you. I loved my daughter so very much._

_It was around the time you were three, when Norman mentioned that Harry started calling you a boy. It confused both of us, but he was insistent that you were a boy. You nodded bashfully in response._

_I had hoped it was a phase, but here we are, two years later, and Harry still calls you a boy. You still grin every time he says it, and I know I’ve failed. Your mother and I neglected to raise you into the strong, healthy minded woman you were meant to be._

_This is our final goodbye. We don’t want to fail you any longer. We do love you, Tera, and we’re sorry we left you so broken._

_With love,_

_Your parents._

 

The only reason that paper doesn’t fly out of my hands it the fact it’s wet from tears, so it plops into my lap. My mask is almost freezing as well from the tears I didn’t know I was crying. I’m crying. Huh.

I don’t know what to do as I sit there. I’m almost tempted to jump, but that just sees too easy. That seems too weak. Too broken.

_Oh god._

I don’t realize I’m shaking until I nearly fall off the roof because of it. I stand and move to a more isolated part of it, burying my masked face in my hands.

My Spider-Man mask.

Man.

I am a man. I _know_ I am a man.

I choke back a sob at the thought. Something that seems to be such a simple truth is why my parents are dead.

Oh my god.

_My parents are dead because of me._

“Your stealth suit short-circuited again.” Miles announces behind me and sits next to me on the roof. I don’t even flinch, too tired to react to his sudden appearance. “But it’s December and we’re outside, so I’m kind of assuming it’s not sweat.” He says carefully and I shake my head, too tired to find my voice.

I’m just weak. That’s all.

“What happened?” He asks and I close my eyes, holding up the note for him. He takes it from my hands and it’s quiet for a while with nothing but me silently crying and the paper crinkling in the wind.

Then I feel arms wrap around me and I know he’s done. He doesn’t say anything as I lean into him, my entire being breaking. I sob loudly and I cringe at how high pitched it is, only reminding me of the problem at hand. Though, _I’m_ the problem at hand, aren’t I?

For once in the whole time I’ve known Miles, we’re both silent as I lean on him for support.

_“We love you.”_

We love you, _my ass_.

I don’t know what to do as I lay there, almost paralyzed by what I just read. I close my eyes.

I had a sister?

I can’t even think about that right now. It’s all too overwhelming; too much.

“They’re wrong, you know.” He says and I shake my head.

“I don’t really know if that matters.” I rasp, sniffling. He holds me tighter as I let out a sob.

_Maybe I shouldn’t have read that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.


	24. The Expo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm done for the semester, so I'm back with the updates!!!
> 
> FIRST THINGS FIRST, I CHANGED THE TIMELINE AGAIN. I edited the end of the last Harry Chapter to say that the expo was in a few days because I want the expo to happen before the poetry reading because reasons.
> 
> SECOND THINGS SECOND, this chapter is a bit of a cliff hanger and I apologize for that. I also apologize for the fact that currently, the story is only in November and I have plans to write until near the end of their school year. This story is gonna be LONG, but if ya'll are in it for the long haul, I'll try to make it worth your while.
> 
> THIRD THINGS THIRD, triggers are REAL. Norman being horrible, dead parents, Norman ignoring Peter's gender, all the fun stuff.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy the chapter! Thank you again for your patience and thank you for reading!

_**Harry's POV** _

 

It’s about two days of radio silence before I even hear from Peter again, ad it’s only because of the expo. It’s not as if I don’t have a life without Peter. Even while dating, we only see each other once or twice a week, and it’s normally project related or with other people. It’s weird to think that Peter and I have been together for almost a month now, cause we almost never do anything like a couple. Sure, we kiss and openly flirt, but we’ve been on one date since we’ve started dating. It’s nice, though, even if the lack of a message is concerning after he ran out. I have things on my mind that Peter doesn’t know about.

Whenever I’m not in the lab with Liz, trying to figure out this damn antidote, I’m at the studio with Natasha, either rehearsing or teaching. It keeps me busy and not going crazy. I just hate how I know nothing about this expect that you stop it with a shock. That’s not very helpful. I can’t just walk up to Spider-Man and say “hey, I’m the bad guy trying to kill you, so shock me and I’ll stop being a psychopath”. I doubt that would go over very well.

Regardless of that, right now, I have not only the expo to worry about, but my boyfriend. Peter came to my lab to help move the equipment and he looked like he hadn’t slept since I last saw him. Right now, I’m standing next to him at the expo and he’s still the same. He doesn’t even seem excited. Just drained; ignoring everything around us as he stares into space.

We’re last in the lineup to be evaluated and it’s coming close to the end, yet Peter doesn’t seem any more put together. Miles keeps shooting worried glances and I wonder if he knows what’s going on with Pete.

I turn to the boy who I’ve worked on this project with and frown at the fact our project caused this mood he’s in. I move to hold his hand and he finally looks up at me.

“You okay, Peter?” I ask and he nods, forcing a smile.

“Yeah. Just tired.” He tells me as if he didn’t sprint out of the room last night. I squeeze his hand and he pulls it away. “Your dad is here.” He says simply and I frown. It’s sad, how I don’t even need to tell him I’m hiding it for him to know.

“Yeah. Right.” I say and he forces a respectful smile as my father walk over.

“Hey Harry. Hey Tera.” He says and I note that Miles looks up as he hears that. I wonder if he knows that’s Peter’s dead name.

“Mr. Osborn.” He says formally and steps between my father and I. “Anything you need?” He asks and my father smirks.

“Is it so bad to want to see the demonstration?”

“Don’t patronize they boys, Norman.” A new voice says and I look up to see Tony Stark looking at my father. I swallow. Now that I know that my father’s eventual plan is to kill him, I almost feel the need to step in.

Tony turns to Peter and me and smiles.

“So, a memory de-suppressor. Ambitious, but does it work?” He asks and Peter nods.

“Tested it myself. I promise it’s safe.” He assures and I turn to him in surprise as Tony hums. He seems a bit more calm with Tony here, yet also worried.

"Your voice sounds familiar. Have you been to an expo before?" Tony asks and Peter looks a little nervous at the question.

"This is my fourth year." He answers shortly and Tony nods, turning to my father.

“So, wanna try this thing out, Norman?” Tony asks, tone light, but not joking and my father scoffs.

“Like I would subject myself to that.” He says and that has me stepping up next to Peter.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s an invasion of privacy for criminals.” He refutes and I have to hold back a laugh.

“You act like you have things to hide, Mr. Osborn.” Peter says, eyes innocently widen and my father’s narrow.

“If I need to prove I’m not hiding anything, then I’ll do it.” He decides and Tony looks pleased.

“So how do you set the power?” He asks and Peter answers.

“The amount of power is for the level of suppression. We have a cap on how much power can be used, as to avoid damage to the user.” He explains and Tony hums.

“Let’s go deep suppression.” He suggests and Peter looks at me, as if asking for permission. I nod.

“Might as well.” I think out loud. It’s not like we haven’t tried it. My father sits in the chair and I put the headset on him. He gives me a look that I feel like I’m supposed to understand, but I don’t. I don’t know why I feel happy I don’t know what he means. Maybe it’s because I’m a step further away from whatever he’s planning, but that’s just not true.

I haven’t spent more than a few days at my own house in the three weeks since I first became the Green Goblin. I haven’t spoken to him since my last transformation in his lab. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t know who he is anymore. The father I knew wouldn’t do this.

“Norman, what are you doing?” I hear a voice that I haven’t heard in years and swallow as I notice that the memory has flickered to life.

“Emily, please, it’s for both of you.” My father says to my mother and I look down at the screen to see my pregnant mother. She looks scared and my heart breaks at it.

“I told you. It’s be better off to just die. I’m not losing this baby.” She screams and before I can think about it, I plug in the headphones and put them on. Tony doesn’t seem to have any oppositions as I do this, eyes wide.

Peter takes my hand and I look over to him. He looks surprised, but concerned. Mostly for me. I give him a headphone as his hand drops back out of mine.

“Emily, you’re going to die.” My father sounds desperate and I don’t know how to handle it all,

“I don’t care. He’s our baby. I want Harry to have a happy life.” She begs and I frown, swallowing at his response.

“He doesn’t matter if you don’t live.” He tells me and I feel Peter’s hand squeeze mine as I try not to cry.

What did he do?

I watch as a glow goes over my mother’s, my pregnant mother’s, body, and freeze. Peter stiffens too. I glance to Tony and even he seems shocked by what he sees.

I hear my mother scream and then I turn off the machine, unsure what to do with the knowledge. Because there's no doubt that was radiation that just went through my mother's body, and it was while she was pregnant with me. Our invention powers down and I turn to see my father take the mask off, standing abruptly.

“What did you just do to me?!” He shouts and Peter steps between us.

“Walk away.” He growls in a voice I’ve never heard before and I find myself surprised by it. My father’s eyes narrow, but he turns on his heels and walks away. I turn to Tony Stark and he looks down, as if considering his words.

“I think it’s best to tell you two you’ve won.” He says and Peter turns to me. He doesn’t seem happy.

“Are you okay?” He asks and I don’t even know what to say.

Did my father… radiate my mother and me?

“I have to talk to him.” I say, looking after where he left to. Peter grabs my hand and I look up at him. He bites his lip, as if considering his words.

“Okay. Let me know if you need me.” He says, as if considering his words and I force a smile.

“Thanks Pete.” I respond and peck his cheek, jogging in the direction of my father. When I catch up with him, I grab his shoulder and turn him to me. He puts his hand on my neck and I shove him away.

“What the hell did you…”

I suddenly feel a small prink against my neck and freeze.

_Oh god. Please tell me that’s not what I think it is._

I look up to my father to see what must be a maniacal smile and my heart stops.

_Shit._

I look to Peter to see him talking to Mr. Stark. Good, he's distracted. I run over to Liz and grab her arm, pulling her with me without warning to a back room I knew from years before. I turn to her and her eyes widen.

“You’re turning green.”

“I know.” I say and she pulls her hair into a ponytail. I feel bad. She dressed up for the expo, and 

“What do we do?” She asks and I frown.

“We don’t have time to stop it, but once I transform, make sure they shock me.” I say and she nods. “Help me take my clothes off. Fast,” I tell her and her eyes widen.

“What?” I can tell she’s scared and I bite my lip. I hate that I have to drag her into this, but I need the help or else I’m doing this alone. Toomes was right, I need an ally and she’s the best option.

“My father injected that shit again. I’m going to need something to change into after and this is going to rip my clothes. Just leave the underwear on and run.” I tell her and take off my sweater. She nods, looking panicked as she does so, knowing what we have to do, and starts unbuttoning my shirt as I kick off my shoes to push down my pants. I shove all of it into her hands as my head pulses, making me fall onto her.

“Harry!” She shouts in surprise and I shove her.

“Run!” I scream at her as I fall onto the floor, vision going dark.


	25. Spider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ain't much better. Sorry boos. I hope you like it.
> 
> Triggers: Peter getting slightly hurt again, violence, Norman, and emotional distress

_**Peter's POV** _

 

“So, you and Harry Osborn thought of this yourself?” Tony asks and I’m just short of sweating. I can’t give anything away, but I can already tell he’s suspicious. His smirk is heavy and his eyes are calculating.

“It was mostly Harry’s idea. He kind of recruited me to help.” I tell him and he nods.

“So that means you worked at Oscorps then?” He asks and I almost swear. He raises an eyebrow when I hesitate.

“Yeah.” I answer and he nods.

“Interesting.” He says when his phone rings suddenly. He holds up a finger for me to wait as he answers it.

“Hello? What?” He answers and his eyes widen. He hangs up quickly, looking at me.

“Hey Peter?” He starts and I raise an eyebrow.

“Yes?”

“Put on your suit.” He tells me and I swallow. Shit.

“How…”

“No time. The Green Goblin is here.” He tells me and my eyes widen.

“I’ll be back.” I tell him and he nods. I sprint to Miles, who smiles at me. It seems forced, but after the past few days, I’m not surprised.

“Hey Pe-” He starts to greet and I grab his arm and continue running, pulling him with me. I take him to the bathroom and strip off my clothes. He sighs and pulls off his shirt.

“What is…”

“The Green Goblin is back.” I tell him and he swears under his breath.

“I was really hoping that was a one-time thing.” He says and I nod.

“So was I.” I tell him as I pull on my costume, finishing it off with the mask. Right when I do, I hear screams outside of the bathroom. I run out as Miles pulls on his mask, following behind me.

When I make it into the main room, I see that Tony is holding off the Green Goblin while in his suit, holding onto it as I use my web shooter to make my way over. Tony lets go and I web the goblin all the way around. I go to kick it, but it claws through the webs, grabbing my leg and throwing me. I use my webs to catch myself, scowling.

Did it have claws last time? And wasn’t it smaller?

I note that yes, it has to be larger this time. Last time, it was just inches taller than me. Now, it’s about the size of the Iron Man suit. I gulp. This thing beat my ass last time and now it’s upgraded?

What _is_ this thing?

And why do I always have to be the finish line when it sprints?

I jump right as it rushes towards me and web it’s face. It crashes into experiments below and into a wall blindly. It scratches the webs off and turns around.

“This _is_ what you were talking about, right?” Tony asks next to me and I nod.

“Yeah, but it’s new and improved.” I explain and nods.

“Let’s just try to tire it out and take it in. If it’s anything like the Jackel, then I know who can help.” He tells me and The Green Goblin turns towards me again and I repeat the same maneuver. I can tire it out, easy.

The third time I go for the move, it dodges it, but Miles goes in to kick it, sending it into more exhibits. It crushes my project and I frown. Harry’s gonna be pissed about that.

_Oh god. Where’s Harry?_

I look around frantically as I dodge hits from the Green Goblin, noting that Harry is nowhere to be seen.

Please don’t let him be hurt.

_I can’t lose him, too._

The thought surprises me so much it makes me hesitate and it’s that split second that I’m sent across the room by a hit to the gut. It doesn’t break skin, but it cuts my costume, I notice, as I crash into the wall, my body flattening against it before I flop onto the ground. Iron Man hits the Green Goblin and he’s sent into an electrical post that goes up in smoke. I stand up and my head spins for a second.

Shit, and I was just getting over my concussion.

“Are you okay, Spidey?” Miles asks as he lands next to me and I nod.

“We gotta get the…” I look over to where the Green Goblin landed as the smoke clears to find he’s gone. Iron Man stops the impending fire as I stare at it.

Where the hell did it go?

And where’s Harry?

“Good work, Spider-Man.” I hear a voice I recognize all too well behind me and I turn on my heel and walk towards him.

“Why are you doing this, Norman?” I demand and he gives me a cocky smirk as he raises an eyebrow.

“What makes you think this was my doing?” He feigns offended and I take a breath.

“I think we both know the answer to that.” I respond and he raises an eyebrow.

“Why would I ruin my son winning the Stark competition?” He asks and it connects in my head that he’s doing this on purpose.

_He’s working against his son, but why?_

“Where the hell is he?” I growl as I hold the front of his shirt and he chuckles.

“You seem to care an awful lot about my son, Spider.” He says and my eyes widen.

Spider. He doesn't even call me a man.

He's knows.

_He’s doing this to Harry to get to me._

My eyes then narrow.

“I swear to god, if you or that thing hurt him, Norman, I will…”

“Let go of my father.” Harry says from behind me and I instantly drop his collar and turn to Harry. He looks disheveled, but okay, covered in ash. His clothes aren’t torn and he’s standing, although a little uneasy.

That’s all I need.

“Cover me.” I call to Tony and he shuts down all the lights and I shoot my webs into the beams and go to the bathroom where I left my clothes. I quickly change out of my costume and go back out to where Norman and Harry were, not trusting them together. I’m off to the side when the light turns back on and I look around, hoping no one else saw me land.

I look up in time to see Harry fall onto his knees, his father standing in front of him as his arm continues to swing from momentum and I swear my vision goes red. I cross the room before I can even think and punch Norman across the face, only holding back enough so it’s not obvious I have a spider’s strength. He falls backwards and everyone around us gasps as Harry shouts.

“Peter!” He calls, but I’m not done as I lean down and take Norman’s shirt into my fist.

“Bring him into this again and expect worse next time.” I mutter to him and he just looks up at me with wide eyes as if he didn’t expect me to do anything while not in my suit. I yank him closer and he has the nerve to flinch. “Your move.” I growl and drop him. I turn to Harry as he stares at me in surprise, walking to him and pulling him to his feet. He nearly falls back down and so I pull him so his arm is over my shoulder.

“I’m getting you out of here.” I tell him and he just looks shell-shocked as he limps with me as we leave the expo. It’s only when we’re out of the doors that he speaks.

“What did you say to him?” He asks and I shake my head.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re safe.” I tell him honestly and he sighs.

“I’m sorry you had to step in.” He murmurs and my heart clenches.

I just keep hurting him. Both with the Green Goblin and his father. It’s because of me that he keeps getting hurt and I can’t even _tell him._

“Me too.” I whisper, offering a small smile the he returns and it hits me again that losing him would probably kill me. As he looks at me, his left eye swelling, I have to look away. I don’t say anything as we keep walking.

I can’t lose him, so maybe it’d be better if I just got lost.


	26. Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just so you all know, I will be at anime central in Rosemont this weekend! If any of you are going to be there, let me know! I'd love to meet you all.
> 
> So, here's a calm chapter after all that's happened. Out bois deserve rest.
> 
> Triggers?? Maybe?? Probs just self-loathing, but even that's mild.

_**Harry's POV** _

 

I end up at Peter’s, laying in his bed. It’s close to four a.m. and he’s been awake for hours. I haven’t let him know I’m awake as well, lying next to his sitting figure. I’ve drifted off a few times, but mostly, I’ve been up with him.

A lot happened today. There’s a lot to think about.

Like the fact I ruined the Stark Expo after winning it. Peter and I put our all into that project only for it to get crushed by _me._ Even if I’m not aware in that state, the knowledge isn’t any worse.

And then my father has the audacity to hit me, when I could barely keep myself standing, after… _whatever the fuck_ I saw. While I guess it saved me the trouble of explaining what happened to make me so weak, he still hit me.

And Peter stepped in as if it was his job to protect me; as if he didn’t care what happened to him. I was terrified when he did that, but then my father looked up at him, so terrified, as if Peter was a threat to him. _Maybe he is. My father seems to be easily threatened these days._

Peter doesn’t seem any less shaken up, though, as he stares at the wall, like he has for hours. He occasionally mumbles to himself, unaware of my presence, and it makes me frown. Why is he worrying so much about me?

It’s only when he’s buries his face into his hands that I decide to sit up, wrapping my arms around his back and leaning my not-swollen eye against him. He doesn’t move.

“You okay?” I ask and he sighs.

“I’m fine.” He responds and I chuckle.

“I know you’re lying.” I tell him and he sighs, leaning into me a little.

“When the Green Goblin was there, I couldn’t find you. I thought… I thought I lost you.” He tells me and my stomach drops.

“Pete…” I respond, hoping my face isn’t as guilty as I feel as he turns to me.

“It’s fine.” He forces on a smile and I move around him to straddle his lap. One of my hands rests on his cheek and the other falls onto his shoulder. He doesn’t meet my eyes as he sits, face stone cold.

“I told you I’m not going anywhere.” I remind him and he closes his eyes.

“You scared the shit out of me, Harry.” He swears and I nod.

“I’m sorry.” I respond and he chuckles coldly.

“Don’t apologize for what happened. It wasn’t you.” He responds as his eyes open and my heart sinks.

_But it was._

And I don’t know how to even begin explaining that. I wanted to wait until I could cure it, but what if it’s too late by then? What if it’s too late _now?_ Peter has been nothing but great to me and I’m just _lying to him._

But how can I not? At this point, telling him would hurt him more.

“Will you look at me?” I ask and he lets out a shaky breath.

“Is it stupid that I’m scared to?” He asks as one of his hands rests on my waist as I sit on him and he won’t even _look at me,_ as if he’s scared that I’m not really going to be there when he looks up.

Is Peter really that scared of losing me? That he can’t even look at me, like I’ll slip through his fingers?

“Yes.” I respond honestly and I get the first real laugh from him all night. I take that and run with it. “It’s stupid because you want me and you’re too scared have me.” I tell him and that makes him look over at me.

“Well do you blame me?” He asks, spare hand moving to trace the bruise on my cheek. “Harry, whenever I’m around, bad things happen to you and I don’t like it.” He says and I raise an eyebrow.

“Peter, this has nothing to do with you.” I tell him and he groans.

“But what happens when your father finds out about this and things just get worse?” He asks and I answer the first thing that comes to my head.

“It doesn’t matter because you’re worth it.” I confess and his eyes widen in surprise before they close.

“Why?” He has the audacity to ask and I smile.

“Because you’re you.” I tell him and he frowns.

“Exactly. You’re so great and I’m just your idiot friend.” He mutters and I take his hands into mine.

“Yes, you’re my idiot friend. My brilliant, kind, funny, beautiful, idiot best friend who can’t see what’s in front of him.” I tell him and he flushes dark red and I find that I think I like it best when he’s blushing. Maybe because his body is more honest that his words, accepting that flattery rather than rejecting it.

“Yeah, but I’m trouble.” He points out and I stroke his cheek with my thumb.

“I don’t care. I’m not letting you go just because you think you’re bad for me.”

_I’ve been in love with you for too long to let you go over this._

The thought doesn’t even surprise me as those green eyes open and I silently note that yeah, it makes sense. I’m in love with him and I’m not letting him go because he’s scared _he’s_ hurting _me_.

I’ll only leave when he tells me to.

And that day might come, if I ever tell him that I’m the Green Goblin. I don’t expect him to be able to understand it when I don’t even. This whole thing is a mess because dammit, I’m in love with him and something I can’t even control is messing it up.

“I think I’m selfish.” Peter says suddenly, eyes trained on my bruise. “I think I’m selfish for wanting you.” He tells me and I smile, using his shoulder to keep me balanced as I lean in.

“Then have me.”

_I’m already yours._

He surprises me, then, at how forcefully he leans in to kiss me, hand moving away from my face to the back on my neck. His lips press against mine and it’s not long until the kiss is tongue and teeth as he uses his hand on my hips to pull me closer.

He pulls away to breathe between kisses, but never actually stops kissing me for what feels like forever, hands roaming each other’s bodies yet never testing limits even as I blatantly get an erection on his lap. Somehow, it makes it better that he does nothing, just continues to kiss me, scrapping his teeth against my bottom lip. He just holds me close, actively touching me, and I do the same, running my hands through his hair and down his torso and back to make sure he knows I’m here, that I’m not going anywhere, because frankly, if I had a choice, I’d never leave his arms. I’d never have to go back home, I’d never have to be the Green Goblin, and I’d never have to lie to him again.

When the kiss finally softens, I think I understand why Peter’s so scared. I don’t want the moment to slip through my fingers because I don’t know when the last time he’ll kiss me is. I don’t know when I’m not going to be able to cover it up anymore. The only reason I could today is because Liz stripped me before I transformed, but I won’t be able to always control that.

But as he pulls away with a soft smile and those green eyes flicker open, I realize something that terrifies me. Chances are, we’re doomed. He’s not wrong about us being trouble, but _I’m_ the one causing the problems.

But he was very wrong about one thing. He’s not the selfish one. I am because I’m weak as I sit in his lap, staring at him as he looks at me with tenderness I don’t deserve and all I want is for this to last.

He’s all I’ve ever wanted, but I know it’s not going to last. He’s like the moon. He’s beautiful in the most calming of ways, always destined to leave at the end of the night.

I glance at the clock and note that we both have to wake up soon.

Our night may be ending sooner than I hoped.

 

* * *

  

By the time we fell asleep, it was more of a nap than sleeping. We both have midterms this week, though neither of us have actually studied. Not that it’s all that necessary. Senior year means our professors have all but given up on teaching us what we don’t want to learn, plus our expo project took place of half of my exams. I only have a few small ones, but none I feel like I have to worry about.

Peter wakes up with a loud, frustrated groan from where he lays under me. I laugh as I prop my chin on his chest.

“You have to wake up.” I tell him and he frowns.

“You have terrible morning breath.” He refutes. He kisses me anyways. It’s just a peck before he’s moving me off of him to get up. I scowl as I watch him move to the bathroom, thinking about last night.

I have to tell him. I have to tell him I’m the Green Goblin.

It’s inevitable that he’s going to find out and it’s just going to hurt more if I wait. How is that even possible? For anything to hurt more that telling him? He thought I died because he couldn’t find me, but in reality, I was the monster that ruined everything. And god, I just can’t even begin to think about what he’s going to say. How he’ll react, or I’ll lose my nerve.

I feel like my insides are being torn apart as the door opens and he tosses my toothbrush to me.

“Peter?” I start and he pauses in his steps, as if sensing something is wrong. He walks over to me.

“Yeah?” He asks, standing between my legs as I sit up. He rests him arms on my shoulders and it doesn’t help the situation at all that he’s so close. If I didn’t have to do this, I’d say fuck it and pull him back into bed, kissing him until the moon returns, exams and responsibilities be damned.

“About yesterday…” I trail off and he cuts in almost instantly.

“Listen, I’m sorry that I hit your father. I am, but I don’t regret it, now stop sounding so guilty.” He insists and I frown as he pulls away, wearing his own on his mouth.

“But I am, Peter. I’ve dragged you into this mess and…”

“You haven’t dragged me anywhere I wouldn’t go willingly.” He confesses and my eyes widen as he gives me a reassuring smile. “I think I’ve made it quite clear that I have feelings for you, and that means I’m going to be there for you.” He tells me and I find myself grinning despite myself. He leans in to kiss me and I realize that I’m weak for him.

_Too weak. I can’t tell him._

Because his lips brush lightly along mine as he smiles and I don’t think I’ve ever seen Peter wear his heart on his sleeve like this. Not even since we’ve been dating, but here he is, kissing me like I mean something to him as his hands push through my hair.

I love him. So, I have to keep him out of this.

If I can’t tell him, then I need to keep this as far away from him as possible while I figure it out. If I tell him, and he doesn’t cut and run, he’s going to want to help and I just can’t hurt him and who knows what would happen if I let him help. This is up to me.


	27. Maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO MY READERS!!!
> 
> I'm gonna start by apologizing for how late this is. I just did a lot of traveling and it took me awhile to get situated back into my job. Because of that, this chapter is extra long to make up for it.
> 
> Also, I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL WTF. Because of you guys, we've made it to 100 kudos and 3,000 hits before chapter 30?????? Thank you all so much for that, cause it means a lot.
> 
> Now, I'm going into this chapters with some warnings. You're starting to see a darker side to Peter's insecurities that will play a major part in the story from here on out. If there's any part that he's speaking in second person, it's a voice in his head rather than just narrating thoughts. Do with that what you will.
> 
> Trigger warnings: dark thoughts, transphobia, family troubles, and recreational drug use.
> 
> Thank you all again and I hope you enjoy the chapter!!

_**Peter's POV** _

 

I’d say there’s a problem, but I think that’s starting to become an understatement. A problem is the Green Goblin. A problem is Tony Stark knowing I’m Spider-Man and me ignoring his calls. A problem is Harry still getting hit and finding out that he was exposed to radiation in the womb.

These are all problems I’m faced with right now. But of all these problems, it’s not the one I’m dealing with right now.

Right now, I’m sitting across from Aunt May, eating dinner. We normally try to eat together at least once a week, but ever since our fight, we haven’t. We didn’t even plan this one. I didn’t have patrol and she didn’t have work. She hasn’t tried to talk to me, and neither have I; though I have a long list of small-talk topics ready to use.

_Finals? Oh yeah, they’re great. I have three left. Should be done by December 12 th._

_Harry is good. Tired after the expo, a bit stressed, but good._

It’s been about a week since the expo and Harry has been staying with Liz when he’s not here. He hasn’t talked much about Norman, though I can’t say I blame him. I saw what he saw. It’s not something to take lightly.

I get it, I think as I glance up at Aunt May, who’s eating soup. I have a half-scalding, half-frozen microwave burrito on my plate. We didn’t even discuss dinner. I honestly don’t know how long she’ll keep up the silence. I, on the other hand, have every intention on keeping as quiet as possible.

I’m not over what she did. I’m not over what she hid. I’m not over what I read, either. I’m not over _anything_ right now and it’s starting to get tiring. Everything is starting to feel like walking on eggshells, what with Harry not knowing anything. Not from fighting with Aunt May to why I’ve been so quiet to Norman knowing everything but the fact I’m dating his son.

Oh god. If he finds out Harry is dating Spider-Man…

_What am I doing anymore?_

“So.” She says finally. I look up at her with an even face, trying to hide my internal conflict.

“So.” I repeat and she sighs.

“You won the Stark Expo and didn’t feel the need to tell me.” She opens and I shrug. Safe topic.

“I don’t think we should be talking about what one isn’t sharing with the other.” I refute. I’m still mad at her. After all this time, she never told me. Even if it hurt, I deserved the right to know.

“Then how about the fact you punched Norman Osborn in the face?” She reminds me and I internally panic. _That was not one of the safe topics._

“I had a good reason.” I fight and she frowns.

“If you won’t talk to me, at least listen. Norman is a dangerous man. Be wary of him.” She says and I look up at her, finding myself even more angered by her words.

“What else do you know that you didn’t tell me?” I ask and she frowns.

“I read the papers. It sounds like that machine was half a confession.” She says and I just stare at her in shock.

“You knew about that? And didn’t try to step in?” I fight and she lifts her hand to her forehead.

“Peter, I couldn’t. He’s dangerous and powerful and it would’ve put him in danger.” She tells me and I’m fuming, standing at her words.

“So you just let Harry put up with an abusive father all these years?!” I shout before I can stop myself and she looks visibly affected. It’s wrong and I know it is, but I can’t help it. She stands.

“Stop it, Tera!” She shouts and I feel my heart drop. Her eyes widen, as if she didn’t expect it to come out.

But it did. And she probably meant it.

_Why else would she say it? You’re just her confused niece who just found out her parents killed themselves because of her._

I flinch at the voice in my head, so loud that it could be in the room. Aunt May looks like she doesn’t know what to do, but I do. I have to leave. I need to get out of here and think.

“Peter.” She whispers quietly and my eyes fall to my plate.

“I have to go.” I murmur and walk out of the kitchen. I barely remember to grab my backpack as I walk out. I faintly feel my wallet and phone in my pockets from earlier today, but don’t pay mind to it. My mind is running wild; millions of miles per minute.

Is… is that was she sees me as? As a girl pretending she’s a guy? As _Tera_?

Is that what everyone sees me as?

_Probably. You’re just a girl that everyone feels sorry for._

I fight off the voice in my head, trying and failing not to frown.

Intrusive thoughts are nothing new to me, but I’ve fought them off successfully for years. Not since my transition in middle school. I frown.

Aunt May hasn’t called me Tera since the third grade, when I finally got the nerve to tell her everything. She accepted it easily, helping me move onto my transition period.

Or, I thought she accepted it.

I’m on the subway before I know where I’m going. Miles is on patrol tonight and I don’t want to bother Harry with this. Ever since the Green Goblin came back around, he’s seemed too worried and I don’t like it. I don’t like him worrying about me because that leads to questions that I just can’t answer.

Something in my mind stops me as I glance around the subway. Does Harry see me as a girl?

He’s known about my gender the longest of anyone in my life. He was the person who has always stuck up for me as a boy and as a person, but what if he’s just doing that because I’m his best friend. I mean, I’m dating him now. If Norman finds out, would Harry just call me his girlfriend, not knowing that the main problem is that I’m Spider-Man?

I want to vomit at the thought.

“Peter?” I hear a voice behind me and turn to see Gwen, with an eyebrow raised. I smile. She cringes at it and I know she sees it’s falsity.

“Hey Gwen.” I answer and she frowns, walking up to the pole I’m holding onto.

“What happened?” She asks and I raise an eyebrow.

“What makes you think something happened?” I ask and she chuckles.

“Because it’s 9:30 at night and you’re on a train away from home. Plus the fact you’re not wearing a jacket in December is a bit concerning.” She answers and I look down, noting that I forgot to put on a coat. I sigh.

“Got into a fight with Aunt May.” I answer and her eyes widen.

“Really? You two never fight.” She says and I shrug.

“It’s actually a fight that started because of another fight.” I decide to be honest. Gwen will read through it if I lie and I don’t have it in me to lie.

Her lips scrunch up in thought before she sighs. “Well, I was gonna get high and work on homework if you wanna join. I assume you’re probably not going home tonight, anyways.” She says and I smile.

“Thank you, Gwen.” I answer. When Gwen and I became friends three years ago, she was the one who introduced me to illegal substances. All of them, really, that I’ve tried at least. Weed, alcohol, and LSD once. LSD and being a superhero don’t mix well, though, because I just tripped about my enemies. Not a fun time.

But the thought of getting high is not something I’m opposed to, right now. I don’t have to worry about patrol right now, and it’s late enough that we should be in the clear for Miles needing backup.

I end up following her to her house, with a short hello from Mrs. Stacy. Mrs. Stacy is great, but quiet. Keeps to herself a lot. Gwen is very close with her father, though, and is on good terms with her mother none-the-less. Altogether, minus the crazy Jackel uncle thing, they have a wholesome family life. Gwen’s dad is on patrol right now, being a police officer. Gwen really only smokes when he’s not here, even though we know he doesn’t care. I think it’s a respect thing.

But as soon as the door is closed, the scented candle is lit, and a towel is stuffed under the door, she’s working on rolling a joint.

“So want to talk or smoke first?” She asks and I chuckle.

“Smoke.” I answer and she nods.

“Same. I still have to write my fucking poetry final.” She answers and I smile. I love being with Gwen when she’s not around people. She’s so formal that she censors herself in public, but alone, she’s the most honest version of herself.

Especially the fact it takes her two minutes to roll a joint and the twinkle lights hanging around her room are rainbow.

She lights up her join and takes a hit, not even coughing and I don’t know how the hell she does it. I take one hit and I feel like I’m dying.

“So, this fight?” She starts as I cough up a lung. She chuckles, yet seems somber enough that she still wants me to answer.

“Aunt May called me Tera.” I answer and she raises and eyebrow.

“Tera?” She asks and I frown. Right. She doesn’t know much about me being trans.

“That’s my birth name.” I explain and she stops.

“Maybe it was an accident?” She tries and I just take another hit of the joint rather than answering. She sighs. “Regardless, I’m sorry that happened.” She says and I find myself happy she doesn’t press more. I don’t know how much more I want to tell her tonight.

“It’s fine. Just something I need to get past is all.” I answer and hand off the joint, laying back and looking at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling of Gwen’s room. Her room is honestly one of my favorite places. It’s calm, with a view of the city and tapestries on the wall. The room is blues and reds and purples and altogether, you just feel at ease in it.

“Are you going to live with her while you’re in college?” She asks and I keep my eyes to the ceiling.

“I’m not sure. I had three offers. I’m considering two.” I say and I can all but hear her eyebrow raise.

“Offers?”

“For full rides.” I answer and that has her leaning over my laying figure.

“That’s awesome, Peter!” She exclaims and I shrug.

“I haven’t told anyone but Harry. Haven’t made up my mind on anything yet.” I answer and she settles down next to me, looking at me where her head is propped on her elbow.

“Which schools do you have to decide between?” She inquires and I shrug.

“Stanford and Colombia. I already sent my declination letter to Harvard.” I explain and she pauses.

“Stanford? Isn’t that…”

“My dream school?” I interrupt and she sighs.

“In California?” She corrects and I nod.

“Yep.” I murmur. “Three-thousand miles away.” I add and she pushes my hair out of my face as she moves back up, taking a hit.

“Well, I don’t think we can solve the world’s problems tonight.” She breathes the smoke out and I nod.

“Agreed.” I answer, taking the joint out of her hand. I don’t want to think about this any of this. There’s too much on my mind and talking to Aunt May sure didn’t help.

I’m just tired of thinking about all that can go wrong. I take a hit of the joint, letting it flood through me as I cough.

I turn to Gwen as she smiles at the phone and I don’t even need to guess who it is.

“So, Liz?” I start and she just grins.

“Yeah. She’s great.” She answers and takes a hit. She lets it out slowly and I can’t help but think Gwen is beautiful. I think Gwen is probably one of the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. In her room with her colorful twinkle lights and filled with smoke; she’s iridescent.

“You look so pretty. And really gay with the rainbows lights. No wonder Liz likes you so much.” I blurt and Gwen flushes, chuckling.

“I think the smoke is getting to you, Pete.” She says and the name almost seems weird when it’s coming out of her mouth. It’s a name that belongs in Harry’s at this point; almost odd anywhere else.

I try and fail to think of something else to distract myself. Thinking about Harry is something I find myself trying to avoid. I mean, the whole Harry and Norman situation. Not Harry himself. I love thinking about Harry.

Love. That word.

That’s a word I’m not ready for. That’s a word that I _can’t_ be ready for. It makes the stakes higher and me more careless when I can’t afford to be careless.

“Peter?” Gwen voice brings me out of my head and I look over to her wide eyes. I try to appear nonchalant.

“Yeah?”

“I think you were just thinking out loud.” She says and I internally swear before I realize what I was thinking about. That has me sitting up straight.

“Do not tell anyone.”

“That you love your boyfriend? Why is that so bad?” She asks and I bury my face in my hands.

“I do not love him. I just…”

“Love him.” She picks up where I trail off and I sigh, lifting my head again.

“His father doesn’t know we’re dating. And he hates me, to say the least.” I say as if that’s a large enough problem to justify me not wanting to love. I don’t _not_ want to love him. I just shouldn’t.

Right?

“I don’t think that’s any reason you shouldn’t love him, Peter.” She says and I sigh.

“It’s just messy right now. A lot of things are happening.” I answer simply and she nods.

“I guess with your college situation, that doesn’t help.” She says and I internally swear. Is it bad that I forgot that I’d be moving away from Harry? I mean, what if he can’t handle the distance? What if he wants to break up because of it?

_If he doesn’t leave you before then._

“So, you never mentioned where you’re thinking of going?” I change the subject. She doesn’t look pleased about it, but answers nonetheless.

“I’m waiting on a response from NYU. I got accepted, but I’m not going if I don’t get a scholarship. If not, then probably MIT with Anya.” She tells me and I grin.

“That’s great, Gwen.” I say and she sighs, not looking nearly as happy as she should.

“I’m thinking about asking Liz out, but I want to know where I’m going first. She’s going to NYU and I don’t know if I’d be able to have such a young relationship long distance.” She explains and I frown.

“Gwen, she likes you. It’s obvious. And you have the rest of the school year and summer to build the relationship.” I say and she shrugs.

“I guess I just don’t want to be the forgotten girlfriend in college.” She admits and I put my hand on her shoulder.

“Gwen, if you are one thing, you’re unforgettable.” I say and she chuckles.

“Thank you, Peter.” She answers and I smile.

“Of course.” I respond, picking up the forgotten joint and lighting it again. I take a hit, cough a lot, then speak again. “It wouldn’t be bad just to put your feelings out there. Let her make the next step.” I say and I watch her perk up as if a lightbulb in her head lights up.

“Maybe I can write my poem about it.” She says and I smile.

“See, that would be perfect. She’d love it.” I assure her and she pulls out her notebook.

“You should write too. You have a busy mind.” She says and I snort.

“You sound like Miles.” I answer and she shrugs.

“Maybe we can both just see the man you.” She says nonchalantly and I don’t know how she knows exactly what to say. I mean, how does she know how insecure I am, right now, thinking about gender and my relationship and if just being stupid.

My phone rings in my pocket and I grin when I read it.

 

 _From Harry-_ I miss your face.

 

 _To Harry-_ I miss you 2.

 

 _From Harry-_ When do I get to see my man next?

 

I flush at his words, typing out a quick “soon”. He’s coming to our poetry reading in a few days, so if I don’t see him before then, I’ll see him relatively soon. I smile. Even if Aunt May and my parents don’t see me as a man, I have people who support me. I decide writing might not be a bad idea. I pull out my notebook and let the thoughts and my high lead the pen, hating how even with everything else going on, how busy my mind is, both good and bad, it settles on Harry. It always seems to come back to him.

Love, huh?

I shake my head. It’s not that, but it could be. Someday. Maybe when I’m less of a mess.

_Maybe when you’re good enough for him to love you back._

Maybe.


	28. Poetry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About fucking time I updated. I'm so sorry this took so long!! I hope the long chapter makes up for the long wait. Next chapter will be posted by next Wednesday, promise.
> 
> Triggers for this chapter: dysphoria, sexual thoughts. I think that's it.
> 
> Thank you and I hope you enjoy the new chapter! Sorry again for the wait!
> 
> (Italic quotes are the poems.)

Harry's POV

 

I’ve never considered myself an artsy guy.

I mean, yeah, I’m a dancer, but I’m also a scientist. I’m practical, even when emotional. I work hard on my school work and I never spoke out against my father until things fell to shit. I’m boring.

I get coffee at Joe’s.

So standing in this done-up coffee shop that’s made for this artist night is totally foreign territory. I’m supposed to meet the others here in a few minutes and so I’m just standing alone, watching performers start to trickle in.

It’s weird, but I’m not sure that I don’t like it. There are dancers and poets and musicians, holding hands with partners of the same or different genders, openly displaying tattoos and colored hair and I find it fascinating.

The science community is rather clean-cut when it comes to expression. Science is the only passion you display, but here, everyone is themselves.

It’s only with a jolt I realize that I’m technically one of them. I mean, Natasha is trying to get me into Julliard now. That’s about as “artsy” as they get.

I glance down at myself, noting that I don’t even look like I belong here. Steve Jobs used to wear the same thing every day, so I picked up a similar routine when I was young. Button down, sweater, slacks. Simple and polished, like my father liked.

Kind of makes me hate it more, now that I think about it.

I take off my sweater and put it in my bag, fixing the collar on my shirt and undoing the top button.

At least now I don’t look quite as much like an outsider.

The idea of me being an artist is strange to me. I mean, being an artist is an identity, and literally only Liz, Natasha, and my dancers know that about me. I haven’t even told Pete.

I chuckle. Of all the things we can’t talk about, that seems trivial now.

Peter hasn’t been himself ever since the expo. I thought the only reason he didn’t want physical contact at the expo was because of my father, but apparently, he just has a PDA problem in general. We still sleep together and kiss when we’re alone, even after that night.

I flush, thinking about that night. It was the first time I’ve ever blatantly gotten a boner around Peter, and he didn’t even react. Just ignored it, really. Not that that’s a bad thing in the slightest, but I guess that does make me kind of curious about the whole thing. Is Peter asexual? Or just wants to take it slow? Either way, I’m not too concerned about it. I’ve been attracted to Peter for a very long time. I can wait however long he needs, even if he never wants it.

Though, when he kissed me like that…

I think Peter is cute. Handsome. Even beautiful at times, but to see that side of him was a little more sexy than I’ve ever really associated with him.

I shake my head. Now is not the time to think about all of this.

It’s obvious that Peter and I have things we need to work on before that’s even in the equation. He’s still around to be with us, just nervous. Not just with me, either. When all of us hang out, he’s quiet.

Quiet. That’s a good word for it.

He doesn’t talk as much; he doesn’t _express_ as much, as if his mind is preoccupied. Maybe it is. He still hasn’t talked about what he saw with our project.

Though, I can’t say much. I haven’t talked about what we saw during the expo. Still though. I’m worried about him.

“Not gonna lie, I didn’t recognize you for a second.” Miles says next to me and I jolt, turning towards him. He chuckles as I take a breath.

“Sorry, I was just thinking.” I answer and he chuckles.

“You’re starting to sound like your boyfriend.” He answers and I remember the way that Miles looked over when my father used Peter’s dead name. Peter has always been close with him. Maybe he knows what’s going on. 

“By the way, do you know what’s up with Peter?” I ask him and his head darts towards me.

“What do you mean?” He asks, but I get the feeling he already knows.

“He ran out of the lab after testing our project. Never told me why, and you’ve seen how he’s been acting.” I ask and he shrugs, looking up towards the door as the other four walk in.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s going to be okay.” He answers and I try not to deflate. So, he does know.

You can tell Peter is nervous as he walks in; more than normal. This has to be nerve-wracking for him. Showing something as intimate as poetry to people isn’t something he’s ever done before.

He walks up to me and smiles up at me, squeezing my hand quickly before pulling away.

“Hey.” He whispers and I find myself grinning despite myself. God, I love this boy, I think. We may have our problems and he may be hurting, but those green eyes of his still light up the room and I know I’m probably smiling like as idiot.

“Hey Pete.” I answer and he glances towards the others, who are trying to find a place to sit. They eye a booth in the back when an older woman walks up to us.

“Hey Dr. Newman.” Gwen says and I note the fact that Gwen looks about as jumpy as Peter. This must be making her nervous as well.

“So, are you two ready to present?” Her teacher asks and I smirk.

“Gwen is.”

“Shut up, Peter.” She snaps back, glaring at him and he chuckles.

“But babe.” He whines and she glares at him.

“Literally shut up.” She responds and he smirks up at her as their teacher comes up to us.

“Pe-”

“Perfect, indeed!” She cuts Gwen off as Dr. Newman grins. “Go on up to the mic.” She tells her and Gwen shoots daggers at me as Dr. Newman walks away.

“Perfect Peter. I like that.” I tilt my head innocently and she rolls her eyes.

“You’re lucky you’re already concussed, Parker.” She says, but a small smile is on her face as she makes her way up towards the stage. We all take our seats, Peter on one side of me and Liz on the other.

 _“I find myself sleeping, sleeping, yet awake, and a girl with red hair is the sign of daybreak.”_ She starts and I look over to Liz, who flushes red at the words, leaning forward. Gwen continues, looking uncomfortable as she does so.

 _“Her smile is like the sun and her laugh makes my knees shake, and her eyes, oh her eyes. They make my heart ache. And when she’s near, my entire earth quakes and all I want is to come out without a heartbreak.”_ She says and at this point, I’m just watching Liz sit there with focused eyes, as if ready to pounce at Gwen the minute that she comes off stage _._

 _“I’m told I’m hard to read. I’m pretty opaque, but I guess I’m transparent, when it’s to her I wake.”_ Liz is blushing like nothing else and I chuckle as I applaud Gwen. I look over to Peter who look so proud for Gwen.

Gwen sits next to Liz and they don’t even look at each other as Liz slips her hand in hers nervously and I smile. Ah, young love. Peter nudges me with his shoulder, smiling nervously at me.

“Thank you for coming to this.” He says and I chuckle.

“Of course.” I answer easily and lace our hands together, kissing his knuckles lightly. He rolls his eyes, putting our hands where the others can’t see, but Miles still nudges his side and he rolls his eyes.

“So, isn’t Anya singing tonight? And what about Liz?” He asks Miles and I raise an eyebrow.

“Liz, you can sing?” I ask and she shakes my head.

“You know I can’t sing for shit. I was gonna dance.” She tells me and I faux gasp.

“And you didn’t tell me? I’m offended.” I answer and she chuckles.

“Calm down, Teach, I just wanted some rehearsal in a public place.” She says and I freeze.

Right. Public.

I glance to Peter, who seems to not have noticed the “Teach” slip up. I consider it a win. Now doesn’t seem like a good time to explain that I’m a closet dancer.

_That sounded weird even in my head._

“Peter Parker!” I hear his teacher announce and he flushes, looking up to where she stands as I turn to him.

“Well, here I go.” He says to me and I chuckle.

“Break a leg.”

“Don’t jinx it.” He jokes and walks up to where she is and she grabs his arm. I listen to their quiet murmurs.

“Read the one from yesterday.”

“I was going to read the one from last week.”

“That one was meaningless. Your one you turned in yesterday had a lot of depth to it and is perfect for performance.” She tells him and he glare sat her.

“I better get an A in this class.” He grumbles, making her chuckle.

“If you read that one with your boyfriend here, for sure.” She says and I flush as she winks in my direction. I guess we’re more obvious than I thought.

Peter goes up onto the stage, opening his book and taking a breath. He opens his eyes and I can tell he’s putting his all into it, putting up a stage front that surprises even me.

 _“I’m a classic melancholic, I don’t believe in the cosmic, but if god’s real, he’s a comic, cause people say I’m a dick, but I don’t have one, so isn’t that ironic? Cause people go ballistic, cause I’m not a cis-dick, and I don’t want to go to a clinic and get one that’s mechanic.”_ He starts and the audience laughs at his crude joking, and he seems a bit more relaxed as he continues, but I’m just surprised. Peter has never openly talked about being trans, so even this is a bit more than I’ve ever seen out of him.

 _“Sorry if it’s a bit graphic, but I’m just a bit dysphoric, cause my life went from dramatic to traumatic, cause if I’m not organic, does that mean I’m not authentic?”_ He gets some snaps for that, but I find myself leaning forward. Peter hasn’t had major dysphoria in years that I know of, other than his normal few times a year when he’s menstruating. But it seems to be bothering him, and I remember frown at that.

 _“I’m just a bit nostalgic, cause I’m a living relic of a chick with no dick, real or metaphoric, that only existed in the hypocritic, idealistic, overly romantic minds that created a cynic.”_ He says and some people who seem to be regulars here cheer at that but I frown, remembering how he reacted when my father called his by his dead name. Is that what’s bothering him?

Why hasn’t he told me any of this?

 _“I’m a little bit neurotic, and I guess I still don’t get it, cause there’s a boy who I swear is magic that makes me get poetic.”_ He smiles at me and I find myself flushing as I recall his first poem he showed me.

 _“And he sees me as authentic, and also somehow simplistic and I just don’t understand it, cause this boy is music. You should hear him walk, it’s melodic, and damn, that boy’s aesthetic, but there’s more to him than just the somatic.”_ He says and I’m probably about five shades too dark of red as Liz and Miles elbow my sides, making me roll my eyes.

 _“He has characteristics, that make my heart go frantic, and even when he gets sarcastic, I’m the one that’s lovesick.”_ He says with a small smile on his face, eyes flickering away from me as his cheeks turn a bit red. _“Cause what we have’s electric, but you see, my mind is manic, and I can’t tell if he can see it, but I’m pretty damn pathetic, and I’m so unrealistic, that I may be nonexistent.”_ He finishes the poem and everyone is on their feet, clapping or snapping for him, but I just glance over at Miles who’s biting his lip in a worried way.

I think I’m missing something here.

But do I push it? I mean, Peter has never been one to talk about his problems until they become major problems, but this one seems to be weighing on his quite a bit.

Still, he’s Peter, and if I’ve learned anything about him, it’s that you need to be patient with him.

He walks over to the table and before he can blush and pretend that that wasn’t as great as it is, I walk up to him and hug him, making our friends shriek around us, as if they didn’t see us kiss when we announced we were dating. He smiles as I pull away and I grin down at him.

“That was great.” I say and he smiles, eyes falling to the floor.

“Thanks Harry.”

“Parker can swear?” Liz gasp and Peter chuckles as I realize there was a mild curse in there. Honestly, Peter has let a few slide recently, I’ve noticed, but it’s not a huge deal. Like I said, he’s acting strange. He probably just stopped trying to censor himself as much.

“Eh, I’d hardly consider ‘damn’ a swear word.” He responds and Miles gasps.

“Which one of you broke my baby boy?” He asks and literally jumps over the table to Peter, covering his ears. My eyes widen, but no one but Liz looks surprised.

“Calm down, Miles, your boy crush is showing.” Anya says and Miles kisses Peter’s cheek, making him gag and me chuckle, though I won’t say I’m above the way I grabbed his hand at that.

The rest of the night is filled with art of all forms. Anya sings a bit, leading to Miles and Anya excusing themselves early when her song was obviously romantic and towards him. Liz danced and texted me under the table for critiques, making me laugh as I told her she did great, even if she made one of her full-turns into a half.

By the time the remaining four of us are leaving, Peter tugs on my sleeve.

“You coming over?” He asks and I chuckle at the fact it almost seems assumed.

“Sure.” I answer, enjoying the way he smiles up at me.

“Cool.” He answers and the others say their goodbye. As we walk away, he slips his hand into mine, making me full-on grin. I glance to his to see him looking off absentmindedly, staring off into the distance as he swings our arms between us.

I decide not to break the silence, just walk with him. It’s nice, honestly. He said a lot tonight that we’ll probably have to talk about, but the silence doesn’t feel forewarning. More patient.

The snow in the city is starting to come down as I huddle further into my jacket. Peter pulls me just a bit close and sighs contentedly as he looks around.

The thing with New York in December is that they go all out. Dress to the nines with Christmas and Hanukkah and every holiday you can think of. I’ve never been much of a holiday person, but Peter is, even if not in a traditional way. No big tree and carols. Just calm music and laying around with hot choco while Aunt May plays guitar and sings.

I’ve spent a few Christmas nights with them since high school and every time, I end up not sober and falling asleep in Peter’s bed, which didn’t really happen until recently. Back then, it was blankets on the ground, even though we ended up cuddling most nights.

Still though, it’s nice. To not have to pretend the casual intimacy means nothing. That holding his hand is just platonic. That his poetry wasn’t about me tonight. We both know this means something and the thought has me almost grinning.

I turn to Peter as we get to the subway entrance and he glances at me, raising an eyebrow.

“What?” He asks and stupidly, I just squeeze my hand and smile.

“I like you.” I announce and he just stares at me for a second and chuckles. He glances around to the slow streets; still busy, but not crowded. No one paying attention to anything but getting home.

He turns to me and pecks my cheek, smiling.

“I like you, too.” He whispers and I smile at him. He tugs on my hand. “We’ll miss the subway.” He reminds me, so I let him pull me along.

Once on the subway, even though it’s relatively empty, he leans his head on my shoulder as we sit, still holding hands. I smile. The thing is with Peter is that without knowing it, he has little giveaways. When he’s comfortable and when he’s nervous and when he’s upset. Right now, though, on the slow subway, he’s content and I couldn’t be happier as I glance down to my green-eyed boy, drifting off on my shoulder.

By the time we’re in Queens, I have to shake Peter awake. He yawns groggily and I end up throwing him over my shoulder, making him both scream and laugh as we make our way to his place.

The walk is spent in a quiet conversation about his final project for his physics course and I know he’s just doing it to stay awake. Even with it being over a month since he’s gotten his concussion, he still has some of the symptoms of it.

Maybe that’s what’s causing this. I mean, his mood. Maybe I’m reading into everything too much, I think as we finally make it to his house and up to his room.

But then there’s his poem.

His poetry has a tendency to be more honest that he is, I’ve noticed. I take it as a good thing. He didn’t write anything negative about us, except that ending note.

 _Does he really think that lowly of himself?_  I frown, glancing to Peter as he takes off his shirt, pausing at the buckle of his pants. 

“How long have you been feeling dysphoric again?” I ask and he chuckles, pulling on a sleep shirt rather than taking off his jeans.

“It’s nothing, Harry.” He responds and I frown.

“Pete, is it because of your period? I know it’s coming up.” I remind him and he sighs.

“I’m thinking of skipping this one.” He says and I frown.

“I thought you liked to stay regular?” I respond and he shrugs.

“I just have a lot on my mind right now. I’m still getting over my concussion and I don’t have time for it right now.” He explains and I frown.

“I feel like I’m missing something.” I admit and he moves over to where I am and sits next to me, kissing my cheek.

“I’m just dealing with some demons. I’ll talk about it when I’m ready.” He says and I want to press, but at least he’s being honest and not just avoiding it. It’s something.

“Okay, but I’m here if you want to talk.” I answer and he smiles.

“Thank you, Harry.” He whispers and presses a kiss to my lips, declaring the conversation over.

His kisses are slow, easy in a way that talking just isn’t right now. I feel like there’s a wall building between up and I can’t tell if it’s me or him. I have secrets and he has things he just won’t talk about.

But I love him. I love him so damn much, and I can’t let myself get discouraged. He was like this when we were friends, too. It’s nothing new.

I don’t know how we end up laying down or when kisses turn even softer as I open my eyes to his closed ones and soft smile kissing my lips every few breaths, but I know that even with everything going wrong, I have to be doing something right.

But even so, he keeps his jeans on as we fall asleep, and I know that this conversation isn’t over.

“Night, Harry.” He whispers and pecks my lips and I decide that for now, whatever it is that’s going on with him, with us, it can wait to be dealt with until he’s ready. For now, I just want to be happy with him for as long as I can before things fall apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, teen hormones and relationship problems.


	29. Normal Couple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this chapter half-written for like 3 months and I still had to figure out how to end it, lol. A little secret; writers don't actually know what the fuck they're doing.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It kind of gives the tone for the next few before things get crazy again. I hope you like it and thank you for reading!
> 
> Triggers: I guess just Peter's head??? May be more, but idk.

_**Peter's POV** _

 

“We need to lay low.” I tell Miles and his eyes widen. It’s the weekend and finals just ended. There have been no situations in public that have caused any trouble and I’m taking it as a sign.

I have to be cautious. I have to beat the Green Goblin for not only me, but Harry as well. He needs to be free of his father and he’s not right now and frankly, I’m not helping the situation.

I frown, thinking about this. Harry knows something is up with me, and I don’t know if I can keep brushing it off as dysphoria. Not as though that isn’t a problem. It’s just not _the_ problem.

“That’s the opposite of what we should do now. Norman knows, Peter. He all but declared war.” He points out and I nod.

“Yes, and Harry is the battlefield. He can only take so many landmines.” I remind him and he scoffs.

“You’re stopping so that your boyfriend doesn’t get hurt?” He asks and I raise an eyebrow.

“Care to explain why that’s so wrong?” I ask and he throws his hands in front of him.

“What about the rest of New York!?” He yells and I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Miles, the Green Goblin has only been around when we or Iron Man have been around, and it only attacks me.” I tell him and he pauses.

“Why is this thing so adamant on killing you?” He asks fruitlessly and I frown.

“I don’t know, but too many people are getting hurt right now. It’s the holidays. Things always calm down on the holidays. Let’s let them.” I tell him and he sighs.

“Fine. But one thing worse than a robbery and we’re back at it.” He bargains and I nod.

“Deal.” I agree and he nods, flopping onto my bed.

The thing is, I know that being with Harry is going to be a problem now. Norman knows I’m Spider-Man. The minute he finds out we’re together, it’s going to end badly. He’s already so hurt by Norman; I can’t let this keep happening.

I sit next to Miles and he looks up at me. “How is Harry, by the way?” He asks and I shrug, wishing I didn’t have to think about it anymore.

“Not great. Norman doesn’t even know we’re dating yet and I punched him in the face. Plus, Norman hit him again, so…”

“Things are a mess.” He concludes and I nod.

“Basically.” I respond and he sighs. I haven’t talked to Harry about what happened that night. What we say on that screen was… unthinkable. And Norman is continuing to abuse him and I just can’t stand it.

“Why did you have to punch him?” Miles asks and I glare at him.

“He punched Harry first. Do you blame me?” I ask and he shrugs.

“I guess not. It just makes things complicated.” He responds and I sigh.

“I still blame you.”

“Shut up, you would’ve dated anyways. I just sped it up.” He rolls his eyes and I lean against the wall behind me.

“Why did I have to fall for my enemy’s son?” I ask and he jolts up. He turns to me with wide eyes and I raise an eyebrow. “What?”

“You said ‘fall for’.” He says and my eyes widen as well.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” I defend and he’s kneeling on my bed.

“Oh my god. Yes, you did. That’s why you immediately hit Norman. You were defending the man you love.” He’s grinning and almost shouting by the end of it and I slap his arm.

“Shut up, Harry is on his way here, you know that.” I say and he laughs. Sure, I had a moment where I thought about it that way, but it’s not love. I don’t love him.

_Right?_

_No! I don’t love him._

“Peter Parker is in love. I would’ve never thought.” He teases and I flush.

“I am not in love.”

_Am I? There’s no way I could be, right? This is stupid! It’s not possible. Not with Norman and everything. There’s too much working against that right now._

“No, I’m not.” I answer out loud and Miles snorts.

“You do know you said all of that out loud, right?” He tells me and I groan. I really need to stop stress-talking.

“Stop.”

“You’re in love.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Is it still confusing?”

“I _hate_ you.” I growl as the door opens and Harry walks inside.

“I swear, you two argue so much for people who spend so much time together.” He says and I glare at Miles as he grins at me. First I slip up with Gwen, now Miles? This isn't the time for this.

“I have to give him shit. Ever since you two started dating, the role has fallen to me.” He reasons and Harry snorts.

“Fair.” He says as he crosses the room and kisses my cheek before taking a seat at my desk. I can’t think about all this right now. I just want Harry to be happy and for me to protect him as long as I can.

_As if he even wants you to save him. He’s better off without you._

I turn to Miles to see his smile slipping as he watches me frown at me own thoughts. I force a smile.

I hope he didn’t catch that.

“So, what are you doing for Christmas?” Harry asks Miles and he shrugs.

“Christmas Eve with Anya’s family, Christmas with mine.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“Really?” I ask and he shrugs.

“We did it last year before we even started dating, though my dad wasn’t too pleased about me coming to the family Christmas hungover.” He jokes and I chuckle.

“Too much eggnog?” I ask and he scoffs.

“It’s coquito, you white boy.” He says and Harry snorts, leaning back in his chair.

“Did you know that before last year?” He asks and Miles slumps.

“Shut up, Osborn.” He bites and Harry rolls his eyes.

“What about you, Pete?” He asks and I shrug.

“I don’t know.” I answer honestly. Aunt May and I haven’t spoken since she called me Tera. It’s been a week and I’ve been avoiding her. Or she’s been avoiding me. Maybe she’s staying at her boyfriend’s. Point is, I don’t know what I’m doing for Christmas.

“Probably wine and carols with Aunt May and the boyfriend.” I add in to avoid questions and Miles chuckles.

“I really hope that wasn’t your way of asking him over for Christmas.” He says and I chuckle.

“I meant Aunt May’s boyfriend, but you’re welcome too.” I say to Harry and he shrugs.

“I have to go to my father’s Christmas party the day before, but I should be free on Christmas Eve.” He tells me and Miles raises an eyebrow.

“Norman will be okay with that?” He asks and Harry gives him a confused look at the use of his father’s first name, but brushes it off.

“He’s not much of a holiday guy.” He explains and I shrug.

“Well, you’re welcome here.” I tell him and he smiles before looking at Miles.

“What about New Years?” He asks and Miles perks up.

“We have to have a party this year.” He says and I chuckle.

“And where would we do that?” I ask and as if on cue, Aunt May walks in. I try not to look upset.

“You boys hungry? Cause I’m starving and I think I’m going to order Chinese tonight.” She says and I nod, not looking at her.

“I could eat.” I agree and the other two voice their agreements.

“Great, because I really wasn’t feeling like cooking.” She tells us and the boys chuckle while I fiddle on my phone, seeing that I have a message from Tony. I frown. _I hope it’s good news._

After the expo, he sent a team to search for any remains from the Green Goblin in the electrical shock, and I’ve been awaiting results. We also haven’t discussed the fact he knows my identity, so I’m a little anxious about that as well.

“Hey May, what are you doing on New Year’s Eve?” Miles asks and there’s a smirk in her voice as she answers.

“I’ll be with my boyfriend. The house will be empty, if that’s what you’re asking.” She reads him like a book and I raise an eyebrow.

“Are you okaying us possibly having a party?” I ask and she shrugs.

“On two conditions. No one drinks and drives and if the cops are called on us, you’re grounded.” She reasons and Harry chuckles.

“You’re giving us too much credit. I don’t think we can be wild enough for the cops to call.” He says and she laughs too. I sigh. At least he’s relaxed around her.

“I know, but Miles is the social one of the three of you and technically, _he_ asked to throw the party.” She says and Miles gasps.

“I’m in charge?”

“And he gets grounded if I mess up?” He asks and she nods.

“Yes.” She says, leaning against the door frame. “But honestly, try to keep the volume low.” She says and I nod.

“Do we really have to talk about this right now?” I ask and both of the boys look at me in surprise. Aunt May, however, just looks down.

“When else should we?” She asks and I know Miles and Harry miss the meaning and I sigh.

“Soon. We just need to work out details.” I answer discreetly and she nods.

“Of course.” She says and the other two seem a bit confused, but don’t mention it as she excuses herself.

“Should we ask?” Harry asks and I shake my head.

“Long story, not for now.” I say and they both nod.

We end up playing Mario Kart not too long after, Miles fitting right in with the physical part of the games. He throws an elbow to Harry’s gut as he races us, and I bark out a laugh.

The guys stay long enough to get takeout and discuss plans for New Years, as well as start a group chat.

It’s only after Harry kisses me goodbye that Aunt May shows her face again. Surprisingly, Harry doesn’t end up spending the night, which is probably a good thing. I think talking to Aunt May is a good thing. I think this is a talk we need to have.

_She’s just gonna show you how worthless you are. You shouldn’t bother._

“We need to talk.” She starts and I brace myself.

“Is that really all you see me as? As _her?”_ I bite as I cross the room to her and she sighs.

“I didn’t mean to offend you. Sometimes the name just comes up, like Benjamin as your middle name.” She explains and I cross my arms.

“So you don’t think of me as a girl?” I ask and she sighs, taking my hand.

“Peter, you’ve always been my baby boy. Even before you told me, I knew. You’re my boy.” She says and I look down.

“Thank you.” I answer and she squeezes my hand.

“So, can we work on this? Because I know you’re still upset about the letter, but I can’t deal with the silence.” She all but begs and I let out a breath.

“What you did was wrong.” I tell her and she nods.

“I know.” She responds and I sigh. I’m still mad at her, but I have to start letting this go. I can’t just let this get to me. I have enough to think about without all this drama. Plus, if she really doesn’t think of me as a girl…

_She’s probably just lying to you._

“We’ll work on it.” I tell her and she nods, shoulder dropping in relief.

“Good.” She says, not completely calm, but a little bit hopeful. It hurts. “I’m having Jerry over for Christmas Eve. Are you bringing Harry?” She asks and I nod. I take note of the fact that this is going to be the first time I’ve met Jerry. Aunt May worked on Thanksgiving, so we didn’t do anything for the holiday expect grab some takeout.

“Figured it was better than leaving him at home alone.” I answer and she nods.

“I agree.” She says, looking down. “He cares about you a lot. I can tell.” She mentions and I shrug.

“I care about him as well.” I answer and she smiles.

“Good, so long as you stay on birth control.” She responds to lighten the mood and I look down. I should probably go see Dr. Banner about that fact that I’m supposedly not fertile.

But that involves talking to Tony…

Great. More things I don’t want to think about. Thank god Miles agreed to relax for the holidays.

Now is the time to work on things like this, I think as I dismiss Aunt May’s warning. It’s not like she actually has to worry about that, but I get the concern. Harry spends the night quite often these days, so I guess if we were a normal couple, there would be room for worry.

But right now, all I want is to be normal. Maybe not quite with that, but to be normal in my relationship with my boyfriend.

Normal. Maybe we can try that for now.


	30. Chill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *appears from the shadows* oh hey
> 
> I'll start by saying I'm sorry. I have like 50k words pre-written that I haven't posted and yet this calm arc is one I have like nothing pre-written for. I'm trying to get ahead while also trying to start a new fanfic. (may or may not post soon. updates to come.)
> 
> So, this chapter is pretty mellow. Actually, the next few will be. Holidays and all that jazz. I hope you all like it and I'll try to update as soon as possible!

_**Harry's POV** _

 

Going back to dancing was stranger than I expected. I think it’s because of the poetry reading, but to be honest, I’m not sure. I think it’s because it’s coming to the holidays and Liz and I haven’t decided on a song for the recital yet, which just makes me think about the fact there will be scouts there. I think about it as I teach my class.

I didn’t think it would be like this, to be honest. Me thinking about going to a school for anything but science. I was thinking maybe Columbia or NYU so I could stay in town, but art school? The thought is still strange to me.

At the thought of Columbia, I also frown, because while Peter is considering it, there’s also Stanford. And it’s not like Stanford is exactly a short distance…

I shake my head, critiquing Ben again on his turn. Ben has joined a few more of my classes, reluctantly admitting that he had a lot to learn. Most of my classes don’t have any problems except for the few girls that “like to stare at my ass when I dance,” as Liz so accurately described it. It’s strange. Other than Liz and Natasha, no one in the studio knows anything about me, like the fact I have a boyfriend. I don’t even think they know my last name, which is a breath of fresh air. Anything to separate me from all that.

Right now, my contemporary class is working on their routines. Liz is in this class too, which helps. She’s a smart girl, don’t get me wrong, but her dream has always been to be a dancer, and if scouts are coming to this recital, then I’ll make sure she does her damn best.

Plus she gives me cues I forget about, like water. She gives me the signal as I glance at her and I look to the clock, noting that it’s been an hour since the last one. “Okay, get water.” I call and they don’t even hesitate to go. I walk over to my water and pick up my phone, noting that I got a text from Peter.

Peter has been slowly but surely more open. Ever since he told me he was dealing with stuff, he’ll admit to bad days or good days, which is all I can ask for. Though, I also haven’t seen him in a week, I consider it progress.

I open the text, smiling as I read it.

 

 **Pete-** Hey. Sorry ive been busy. I miss yur face.

 

Short and to the point. I chuckle behind my hand.

 

 **Me-** Just my face?

 

My text is met with a quick reply that has be both flushing and physically laughing.

 

 **Pete-** im sooooo sory you have a nice face tat makes me miss it

 

“Who’s that?” Ben asks from next to me and I nearly jump out of my skin.

“Is that your business?” I bite defensively and he raises his hands in defense.

“Sorry man. I just don’t think I’ve seen you smile at your phone before.” He says and I chuckle, shaking my head.

“Just… someone.” I respond and he crosses his arms.

“She must be something.” He reasons with a cocky smile, as if pleased he has me figured out.

_Might as well wipe it off._

“Yeah, he is.” I respond and take a sip of water as his eyes widen.

“You…”

“Have a boyfriend?” I finish for him and he just stares at me in surprise.

“I mean, congrats. I just didn’t know.” He says and I shrug.

“It’s recent.” I respond, but it still feels wrong in my head. I mean, I’ve had feelings for Peter for so many years. He’s always been there, and even if he wasn’t with me, it still seems like this is more than a two-month relationship. Ben sips his water as I type out a quick answer.

 

 **Me-** You free tonight?

 **Pete-** that was kinda the point of me txting that I miss your face

 

I smile at the text, hating my stupid grin as I type back a reply.

 

 **Me-** Well, you’re lucky, because I miss your face as well.

 **Pete-** I knew u were using me for my good looks lol

 **Me-** See you in an hour?

 **Pete-** Bring cozy clothes. I planned out 2nd date. Get excited.

 

I know I’m flushing darkly at that, enough to make Ben snort. “God, you're a mess.” He says and I glare at him.

“And you’re done with your water break.” I respond, walking back onto the floor to finish the rehearsal.

It goes by quickly, all of them seeming to be as eager as I am to leave. Liz makes a comment about it on the way out and chuckles when I tell her I’m not going to her place. I flip her off as I hurry to Peter’s. It goes by fast as I fiddle on my phone on the subway to Queens. I note the fact my father has sent me another email telling me I’m expected to make an appearance at the company Christmas.

I ignore it, debating if I’m even going.

The whole thing smells like trouble. My father smells like trouble, and I figure the longer that I’m away from him, the longer I’m safe.

_So I guess I’m not going._

I mean, it’s not that bad. I can just stay with Peter and Liz. Besides, Peter invited me over for Christmas. There’s no way I’m gonna pass up on that.

I get off the subway by Peter’s house and continue my trek, pulling my coat further on myself. New York in the winter isn’t exactly a warm outing. Peter has always been a big outdoors person in the winter, though, for some reason. He likes to drag people to go see Christmas lights and while I don’t understand how he never gets cold, I also find the act adorable.

I chuckle, shaking my head as I make it to his door. _I’m so gone for him._

I knock on the door and after a bit of crashing behind the door, Peter opens it with a blanket wrapped around himself and his hair a mess. He throws the blanket over my head and picks me up, tossing me over his shoulder. I shout in surprise and I think I hear Aunt May chuckle somewhere in the background.

“I’m kidnapping you.” He tells me as the door slams I chuckle.

“I can walk, you know.”

“What’s fun in that?”

“When did you get so strong?”

“Stop asking questions.” He says and smacks my butt as we walk up the stairs and I’m resigned to the fate that is being carried to Peter’s room. I drum on his back, not knowing what else to do.

“But seriously, I’m not light. How are you carrying me upstairs?” I ask and he groans.

“Let me focus on not dropping you, brat.” He responds, but I can hear the smile in his voice. I take it as a win.

When we finally make it to his room, after him almost running me into a wall, he sets me down as the door clicks shut. The blanket falls off of me to reveal all the other blankets in his room are arranged to make a fort, over his mattress on the floor. There are twinkle lights hanging in it as well, making the whole thing seem more homey. He has a laptop sitting inside the fort and I find myself grinning as I turn to him.

“Are we about to Netflix and chill?” I ask and he flushes, laughing a little.

“I’m not very good at this whole romance thing, but I was putting up decorations and found an extra string of lights, so I thought this would be a good idea.” He tells me and I grin, walking up to him and taking his face into my hands.

“I love it.” I tell him and he rolls his eyes.

“I made a fort and turned on Netflix. Calm down.” He jokes and I chuckle. It takes a moment until we’re both just grinning at each other, just like our first date. He pecks my lips, grabbing my hand and puling me into the fort. I settle next to him, finding myself comfortable as he kisses the side of my head, reaching to boot up his laptop.

“I was thinking either horror or hallmark Christmas.” He says and I laugh, turning to him as he clicks away at the keyboard.

“Hallmark Christmas. No debate.” I answer and he laughs, wrapping one arm around me and going on the computer with the other and I can’t help but think that this is the most comfortable I’ve seen him since before the expo, smiling was he picks out a movie and some tension I didn’t know I had in my shoulders relaxes as I watch the changing Netflix screen light up his green eyes.

We end up settling on some small-town Christmas movie where we both know it’ll end with the main character moving back home to be with their high school sweetheart. By the end of it, Peter and I are screaming at the movie, having called it and yet, still angry about it.

“You just got the promotion and you’re moving back for a man!?” Peter yells and I’m right there with him.

“When he could’ve moved to Chicago? Why would he make her do that?”

“Romance, man. I don’t get it.” He says, chuckling as the ending of the movie continues with the closing action. He turns to me, handing traces my side and I find myself leaning into it. When I look up from the movie and to him, I find he’s already looking at me. He flushes, looking down. “Sorry.” He murmurs and I chuckle.

“For what?” I ask and he shrugs a shoulder.

“I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t get romance. I feel like it’s been hard for us to just do this. To just be normal.” He responds and I move closer to him, my hand moving to rest on his cheek.

“Pete, we are pretty damn normal.” I lie. I mean, for the most part, we are, but not with my father and with me being the Green Goblin. None of that has to do with him, though, and maybe I’ve been bringing it into the relationship too much.

“Still.” He says as if that actually means something and I peck his lips.

“This is good, Peter. We’re being ourselves. Together. And maybe we have things to work on, but I wouldn’t want to work on things with anyone else.” I tell him and he smiles, pulling me so we’re flushed.

“This is why you’re the romantic one.” He responds and I smile.

“I also did pine after you since middle school. You may have had feelings for me, but I don’t think you understand how much being with you feels like a privilege.” I confess and his cheeks turn much darker in the dim light, his eyes wide.

“I don’t get it.” He whispers and I quirk an eyebrow. “How the hell did I get you?” He asks, thumb tracing circles into my sides. “How the hell did I get lucky enough to have you?” He says and I smile, knocking his nose with my own.

“You know, I think I like it when you swear.” I murmur and he chuckles.

“Random, but I’ll take it.” He responds and I shrug.

“I don’t know. It’s like you’re finally relaxing.” I add and he smiles.

“Well, I’m here with you in a blanket fort. It’s hard to think of something more relaxing.” He admits and I smile.

“Nothing could be more calm.” I agree and he chuckles, leaning towards me.

“You’re a dork.” He whispers and I raise an eyebrow.

“I thought I was a brat.” I respond and he giggles. Actually giggles as he leans towards me.

“Always.” He murmurs as he kisses me, and I wrap my arms around his waist, turning us so he’s on me. He laughs at the movement, pulling away from me as his hands find my face. He’s about to say something when he just stops, looking down at me. I find myself doing the same as he sits on top of me, wearing my sweater under the blankets and Christmas lights and I suddenly find it harder to breathe than when he was kissing me. It’s weird, still. To think I’m dating him. To think he’s mine, when I was looking at him like this just months ago when he wasn’t. But his smile is sweet and his eyes are calm and he’s glowing under the lights and I couldn’t be more smitten.

“You’re perfect.” He whispers and I find myself surprised, because how could he, the most amazing thing I know, call me perfect? Me, after dance practice, in sweats and my hair all messed up and yet for some reason, he can say that and look at me like he might actually mean it.

But then he’s kissing me again, hands in my hair as he lays on tops of me, and I forget all about that, because right now, this is all that matters. Maybe this time off is exactly what we need to relax and figure this out. Maybe, if we can figure this out, I can figure out the Green Goblin stuff and Pete and I can figure out our problems.

A part of the blanket fort falls down suddenly on top of us and as he laughs against my lips, I can’t help but think this is a good start.


	31. Jingle Juice and A Blue-Eyed Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I COULD take the time to explain why this took me so long to post, or you can just forgive me because this is basically 5,000 words of fluff :)
> 
> (i'm so sorry)
> 
> Triggers: Peter being not all mentally well, dysphoria, hormones

_**Peter's POV** _

 

Allowing myself to calm down with Harry is probably the best thing I could do.

It’s not coming clean completely, but while I can’t do that, I can actually tell him when I’m thinking. When I’m worried. When I’m staring at him and just admiring.

Like, right now. That actually exactly what I’m doing right now as he talks to Aunt May, my legs draped over his as Aunt May taps her foot nervously.

“Aunt May, I’m sure he’s going to love it.” He says and she sighs.

“I know. He’s going to love you boys, too. It’s just a first, is all.” She explains. Aunt May and I have been tense still, but with the holidays, we’ve been spending time together again. Setting things up and slowly enjoying each other’s company. I’m still upset, but the initial anger is gone. I don’t know if I wanted to know what I know now, and I don’t want to think about what that would’ve done to me when I was younger.

Even now, the effects aren’t good.

Harry grabs my hand, as if knowing my mind is slipping. He just plays with it, pulling on the fingers and rubbing the palm with a calm smile as Aunt May tries to make sure everything is perfect. I smile at him as he fiddles with my hand, just looking around the room absently; calmly.

I guess it pays off to be honest with him. He’s been nothing but great so far. Even coming into this, not knowing anything about Aunt May and my fight except that it happened and it’s still not comfortable, but Harry is doing his best to make it so.

I’m also a little antsy to meet Aunt May’s boyfriend. She’s acting like a teenager bringing her first boyfriend home to meet the parents. It’s kind of sweet, I think, but I also know I’m gonna try to intimidate him on some level. Call it petty, but that shovel talk needs to be delivered.

A knock on the door sounds and Harry and I stay on the couch as Aunt May goes to answer the door. I look over at Harry and he smiles.

“This will be fun.” He says genuinely and I nod my agreement. He presses a kiss to my hand as his phone rings. He uses his other hand to turn it off.

“What’s that?” I ask and he shrugs.

“It’s nothing.” He dismisses and I frown at that as he moves, setting my legs off of his lap before standing. I let myself be pulled toward the entry way as I take a look at Jerry.

He’s tall, taller than Aunt May, with brown hair that has grey peeking out. He’s smiling at Aunt May in a way that makes me calm down. No wonder she’s so smitten, when he looks at her with such soft eyes.

They turn to us as if noticing we’re even there and I hold back a chuckle. I have to do a bit of intimidating, whether or not he likes it.

“Peter, this is Jerry.” She tells me and I walk up to him and take his extended hand a squeeze hard enough that a bone pops out of place. He flinches, but otherwise doesn’t react.

“Good to meet you, Peter.” He winces and I allow myself to smile.

“You too.” I answer shortly and Aunt May forces a smile as well. Harry steps up, extending a hand.

“I’m Harry, Peter’s boyfriend.” He announces proudly and I smile as they shake hands.

“Good to meet you, Harry.” Jerry responds as we all move back to settle in the living room. Harry and I take the couch as Aunt May and Jerry take the chairs on the side by the door. The air is a bit tense as Harry picks my legs up and puts them back into his lap, making Aunt May smile.

“So, what do you do for a living, Jerry?” He starts, surprising Aunt May and myself as the two begin to talk.

“I’m an accountant at a firm in Manhattan.” He explains and Harry hums.

“Impressive. I’ve never been about to figure out accounting on such a large scale, especially corporate.” He gushes and Jerry seems to relax at that, as if he was speaking to a praising boss and not a teenager who’s not even related to his girlfriend.

“It’s a private firm, but it’s moderately established. Are you interested in accounting?” He asks in response and Harry shrugs a shoulder.

“Sort of. More of a science person, but I like to know my way around the business world.” He says and I look at Aunt May who exchanges a relieved look as the two of them speak. I end up excusing myself when the oven beeps in the kitchen. Aunt May follows suit behind me.

“You and Harry seem to be in a good place.” She says absently as she checks on the food on the stove. I shrug.

“We’re working on things.” I admit and she nods.

“That’s good.” She concludes as I look down at the dish that looks to be about done. I’m not much of a cook, but Aunt May has had me help her enough I know basics. She seems like she wants to say something, but doesn’t push. I find myself relieved. 

We’re back to normal, but not. We coexist. We decorated for Christmas together in silence because neither of us wanted to risk breaking the peace. It’s tense, but it’s better.

It’s temporary, anyways. I’ll be going to school next year.

I hate how my mind falls to Stanford instantly. It feels selfish to want to go there still, but maybe it’s right. I mean, Aunt May just sees me as her messy niece. Why would I stay for her?

I hear Jerry and Harry laugh in the other room and sigh. I don’t even want to think about how that would affect Harry and I right now. 

Aunt May pulls out a pitcher from the fridge that would’ve normally made me laugh if my mind weren’t going elsewhere.

“Jingle Juice?”

“Jingle Juice.” She responds, my missing laugh coloring her tone and I sigh.

“Do they know you’re about to kill them?” I ask and she laughs.

“Of course Harry knows. Jerry is gonna learn.” She tells me and I mourn his poor soul.

Every year, Aunt May makes something called Jingle Juice, which is the festive equivalent of Jungle Juice at a college frat party. It tastes terrible until it doesn’t, honestly.

I sigh as she puts a cup next to me, taking a sip. I almost gag.

“Did you put Red Bull in here?” I ask and she smiles, as if this is something she should be proud of.

“Mayyybe.” She drawls and I actually do laugh at that.

“What else is in here?” I ask and it’s like our ages are switched as I put a hand on my hip.

“Tequila, lime, curaco, and pineapple juice.”

“Oh my god.”

“And peach snapps.”

“Oh my  _ god _ .” I groan for my future stomach and she just laughs cruelly.

“What the heck is going on in here.” Jerry asks as he enter and oh god, I thought I was prude. Aunt May has an evil smile as I take my cup and go to find Harry, shooting hima sorry look as his expression turns from concerned to fearful.

I go back to the couch and Harry takes one look at my drink and sighs.

“Not again.”

“Shut up, you’re just as bad as her.” I remind him. Harry is the weirdest drinker I have ever met. I once watched him chase gin with pickle juice. I’ve never let him mix my drink since.

“Okay, fair.” He answers as I take a sip of my drink, frowning at the fact it doesn’t taste nearly as bad as I thought it would.

“Shit, this is actually good.” I respond and he chuckles.

“Come on, babe. Lighten up.” He smiles as I sit next to him, kicking up my legs and leaning on him.

“I’m gonna get wasted on Christmas Eve.”

“We always do.” He reminds me and I sigh, glancing up at him. I’ve spent Christmas with him for so many years now that he’s made his way into the traditions.

“Aunt May is gonna make you play guitar.” I murmur and he nods, smiling down at me.

“And the neighbors will call the cops when Aunt May starts singing.” He adds and I bark out a laugh.

“If Jerry makes it through tonight, I think I’ll approve of him.” I tell him and as if on cue, Jerry lets out a disgusted noise and I know he just tried the Jingle Juice. Harry chuckles against my forehead as he presses his lips to them.

“It’s nice that I got to pass the boyfriend test without taking it.” He murmurs and I smile as I settle myself into his side.

“You passed before we started dating because apparently Aunt May thought we’ve been dating for about a year.”

“We’re the worst.” He laughs, leaving a peck on my forehead. Aunt May comes back in with a shell-shocked Jerry, smiling when she sees the two of us.

“Petey Poo, we’re double dating!” She says and I try not to laugh at the fact that she may or may not be a bit buzzed by now as she puts a spare cup of Jingle Juice on the table besides Harry. He laughs, arm wrapping around me.

“Yeah, Petey Poo, we’re double dating.” He teases and I elbow him.

“Don’t start.” I say and he pulls me tighter. The older two watch fondly as they settle next to each other.

“So, Peter, where are you thinking of going next year?” Jerry asks and Aunt May raises an eyebrow as Harry stiffens every so slightly.

“Have you applied anywhere?” She asks and I look over at Harry who is glancing off to the side. I pretend not to notice. I’ll deal with that later.

“A few places have made offers. I don’t want to get ahead of myself though.” I answer simply and before any more questions can be asks, Harry picks up his cup.

“And let’s cheers to that.” He says and I look over to him, hoping the thankfulness that washes over me shows. He winks to me as Aunt May starts to clinks her cup against Jerry’s getting up to cheers with us as well. Aunt May is just sitting down when Harry sniffs the air. “Is something burning?”

“Shit!”

 

* * *

  
  


“Jingle Bells is a classic! How do you not like it!” Aunt May is starting to get to the point of the year where the cops are called as she and Harry argue, boxes of Chinese food forgotten on the coffee table. She has her guitar in her lay as Harry laughs, trying to calm her down.

“Yes, it’s a classic, but are classics always good?” He argues and she scoff.

“Peter, your boyfriend just spoke sacrilegious words in my household.” She complains and I shrug.

“Can’t help that he has poor taste.” I say and he flicks my forehead. I elbow him and he sways a bit. Jerry just look amused as he leans back, observing quietly. I decide to add him into it. “What about you? Favorite carol.” I ask and he looks surprised, but leans forward.

“Last Christmas.” He answers and Harry and Aunt May both gasp.

“Now that is sacrilegious.” Harry says and I laugh at Aunt May’s disappointed face.

“Wow. I’m dating a holiday cynic. I’m ashamed.” She says and Harry barks out a laugh.

“It’s okay. Still not as bad Peter’s Justin Bieber holiday phase.”

“We don’t talk about that.” I bite and he chuckles, kissing the side of my head.

“God, remember your Bieber flip.” He adds and I internally curse dating someone who knows about my awkward phases.

“We don’t talk about that either.” I retort and Aunt May chuckles.

“Oh, no, remember when he…” She starts and I stand, Harry’s arm falling to the couch where I was sitting.

“If this is where the conversation is staying, I’m cleaning your burnt mess.” I say and the two of them whine as Jerry stands.

“I’ll come with you.” He says and picks up some of the Chinese cartons on the table. I grab my cup, having been emptied twice tonight with a third on the way. I try to ignore the way Aunt May and Harry giggle at the way I sway a bit at first. Jerry follow me into the kitchen where I evaluate the burnt pan left next to the stove, oven mitts left haphazardly next to them. I start cleaning the dish, shaking my head with a laugh.

Aunt May and Harry have always been this close, for as long as I can remember. They’re close, whenever they’re together. Hearing the strum of a guitar start in the living room makes it feel all the more like home.

Then there’s Jerry, who’s a bit more relaxed after spending a few hours and a few drinks with us. He’s calmer, which helps. If he wasn’t, I don’t know how I would handle it, but I imagine Aunt May wouldn’t be pleased with me bruising the poor man.

He looks like he wants to say something and I realize that’s probably the reason he followed me in hear. I take a breath. Hopefully he just out and says it before I blurt something stupid.

“You know, I love her.” Jerry saves me from my stupidity and I smile, not looking up from my dishes.

“Even after Jingle Juice and carols?” I ask and he barks out a laugh.

“Especially after that.” He answers perfectly and I nod.

“Good.” I conclude and I can all but feel him relax.

“She loves you a lot.” He says, then pauses. “I know you two have some tension, but she loves you. As her nephew.” He clarifies and I stop scrubbing the plate in my hands.

“So you know.” I state and he sighs.

“She’s been worried about you.” He says as if that makes it okay and I close my eyes.

“I’m okay. I just need time.” I answer plainly and he seems to accept that.

“Okay.” He says and moves to retreat. I look up at him before he does. 

“I think you’re good for her.” I tell him and he looks back, smiling at me.

“Thank you, Peter.” His voice is thick with meaning, as if it means everything to him. He steps back out and I decide if Aunt May is going to be seeing anyone, I’m okay it’s him.

If he’s here, she’ll be okay without me.

I finish the pan and refill my drink before return back to the living room to find Harry strumming while Aunt May dances around the room. I glance at Jerry and gesture to her. 

“Dance with her.” I mouth soundlessly and he seems to take my cue, standing as I settle back next to Harry as he plays, eyes close and shoulders relaxed. He looks calm. He looks happy.

I take a sip of my drink before setting it down, leaning my head against Harry’s shoulder as he plays. He hums along at “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” and I kind of wish he wasn’t playing so I could hold his hand, kiss him, relax with him as I look up at him.

He’s amazing. I think it often, but it’s so obviously displayed now as he seamlessly holds everything together as if he belongs here.

It’s a dangerous thought, but I allow it. Everything with Harry is a dangerous thought, but this is my time off from that. This is my time to allow myself to be normal with him.

As the song ends, he smiles over at my and my heart does that stupid thing where it stops for a second, but I don’t care because it feels like he belongs with me.

Yeah. That sounds right.

He’s a part of the family. I’ve known him my whole life, and it seems ironic and poetic as I peck his cheek, uncaring that the other two in the room can see, that this is where life has led us, but I think that’s why it feels so right. It’s messy and perfect and the same time and 

It’s a thought I allow to swallow me whole, if only for tonight, as minutes becomes hours and three drinks turn into a lost count and Harry has set down the guitar in favor of pulling me up to my feet as Aunt May plays music from one of her CD’s.

“You know I don’t dance.” I complain weakly and he chuckles.

“You danced with me during our first date.” He retorts and I pout as he spins me around. He notices it and laughs. “Come on, Petey-Poo. Dance with me.” He asks sweetly and I take a step forward, wrapping my free arm around his neck. I lean in and whisper.

“But I’m intoxicated and it’s going to be very bad.” I inform him and his laugh is soft as I turn to look at him.

“We all are.” He reminds me and pecks my lips before swaying with me. I try not to react at the room spinning, closing my eyes and leaning against him.

“I still haven’t given you your present yet.” He murmurs and I roll my eyes.

“It’s not Christmas yet.” I answer, mostly because I didn’t get him a physical present. I’m taking him somewhere and I don’t want to tell him before it’s happening.

He spins me around again and I’m painfully aware of the fact that there is alcohol in my system. Harry, on the other hand, seems completely unfazed by the spinning.

“Suit yourself.” He teases and I catch him by surprise as my hand on his shoulder moves to his neck to pull him down for a kiss. It’s short, but he’s blushing when I pull away.

“I don’t need a present. You’re enough.” I whisper and his face is probably the most red I have seen it. I pull away from him to go to grab my drink, but he pull me back by the hand still clasped in mine. 

I go to protest, but he’s kissing me then and I can’t even remember what my words were going to be. The kiss is real, him pushing me back with his mouth as his arm finds home on my waist again. He pulls back with a smile and I know I’m the one left blushing as he looks down at me.

“You don’t know what you do to me, Peter Parker.” He pecks my lips again and it’s like my mind is completely clear and I can’t remember how to do anything but look up at the beautiful man holding me.

There’s a cough in the background and Harry is the one that responds to it, giving Aunt May the finger from over my shoulder. She lets out a laugh as he flushes, grabbing my forgotten drink for me and handing it to me with a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m gonna tidy up.” He murmurs bashfully and I roll my eyes, turning to tell him to stop before Aunt May is suddenly in front of me. I take a sip of the drink handed to me and silently thank Harry.

“I think Jerry and I are going to his place to give you two some privacy.” She tells me and I have a feeling it’s a little more for their own privacy.

“Use protection.” I tell her and she flushes.

“You too.” She responds and I roll my eyes.

“Don’t have to worry about that.” I tell her and she raises an eyebrow.

“Okayyy.” She drawls, unbelievingly and I chuckle.

“Don’t drive.”

“We’re getting a taxi.” She tells me and I smile.

“Good. Stay safe.” I say and she pauses.

“Merry Christmas, Peter. I’ll be back tomorrow to watch It’s a Wonderful Life.” She decides and I nod.

“I know.” I answer and without warning, she pulls me into her arms.

“I love you.” She whispers and I close my eyes.

“I love you, too. We’ll talk tomorrow.” I say and she pulls back with a warm, relieved smile and goes over to where Jerry is.

By the time the two of them are leaving, Harry is finishing cleaning and I can’t help but smile as he gathers cups into his arm. I walk up to him and take another one from his hands as he looks down at me.

“Thank you.” I say and he raises an eyebrow, as if he’s not sure why I’m asking, but he doesn’t question it as I lean up to kiss him. He smiles against my lips and I know he’s spilling Aunt May’s devil drink into the floor as he brings an arm around me, but I can’t find it in me to care.

It’s the sloppiest kiss he’s ever given me and I’m suddenly aware of the fact we’re both very intoxicated, home alone, and most teenagers would instantly think to take things to a more inappropriate place.

I consider it for a moment before I almost slip on the liquid on the wood floor and decide that we shouldn’t be sexual for the first time while drunk. 

That being said, as he pulls away with a laugh, I decide I wouldn’t mind it if we did anyways.

I’ve always known Harry was attractive, but being  _ attracted _ to him is more recent. It’s been his confidence when we make out, no matter the position he end up in, or his voice when he wakes up or the way he just knows what he wants and it’s attractive in ways I never imagined.

His laugh settles and I’m still staring at him, hating all the thoughts I have tonight. All the thoughts about Harry. I know they’re all dangerous, but it’s only a far part of my mind that acknowledges it. The more aware part just stares up at him with what I know is a dopey smile.

“Let’s clean up.” I say instead of every other thought in my head and he smiles.

“Okay Pete.” He whispers and pecks my lips again before walking towards the kitchen and I don’t know if he knows what he does to me, as I stand frozen for a moment, but he continues and I follow him to the sink where he dumps out the cups. As soon as they leave his hands, I turn him around and kiss him before he can ask what I’m doing. 

He reacts by turning us around so my back is to the counter, leaning down to kiss me as his hands venture to my waist. I gasp as it hits the counter and he takes his opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. It’s only when my hand get tangled into his hair and his have traveled a little further south than where they were before when we both pull away. His eyes are dilated and I’m unsure if it’s because of the alcohol or because of me, but regardless, I find myself a little proud as he takes a heavy breath.

“We should probably slow down a bit.” He tells me and my hands in his hair muses it around.

“Or…” I trail off and he gulps as I pull him a little bit closer.

“Pete.” His voice is strained as his hand, still on the curve where my back becomes my butt, moving me closer in a way that seems natural. 

“Maybe we just leave that question open ended for now.” I suggest and he smiles.

“Good idea.” He answers and pecks my lips, before one peck become two and three and I’m giggling as he kisses me repeatedly. I pull away, my hand grabbing his as I look towards the clock and laugh.

“Merry Christmas.” I say and he must note that it’s past midnight, because his eyes widen.

“We have to go to sleep or Santa won’t come.” He jokes and before I can roll my eyes, he’s picking me up.

“Harry!” I shout as he carries me over to the stairs, stumbling a little.

“We have to go up!”

“Santa isn’t real!”

“Don’t crush my dreams, Parker.”

“You’re not sober enough for this!” I shout and once we reach the top of the stairs, he sets me down, hands on my waist and mine sit on his shoulders.

“That was payback.” He smirks and I laugh, leaning my forehead on his chest.

“You’re impossible.” I laugh and his chest rumbles against my head.

“I try my best.” He responds and I look back up to him, standing in the hallway and he smiles down at me, hands moving to cup my cheeks as he kisses me again. I break the kiss for no other reason than to pull him into my room, shutting the door and kissing him again. This time, his lips are a bit slower, less playful. Breathtaking, even, as his hands move back down to my waist, and mine take the spot on his face, and some part in the back of my mind is still yelling at me to stop. To run, away from Harry and what it means to be with him, but all I know right now is that I want to be here with him as we move to bed, his lips still on mine. It’s heavy and a lot as he moves on top of me and my hands move to thread into his hair. It’s not until we’re laying down that I start to notice something a little uncomfortable. 

I’m wet.

And I don’t think I’m ready for this.

Yes, I like Harry and yes, I want to be normal with him but I don’t know if I’m ready to cross this line. This is one thing that I can’t just overlook for a night because I have to come to terms with the fact I literally don’t have the same parts that a man has. That even Harry has, and I break apart from the kiss, cringing as his lips move to my neck. 

Tonight was going perfectly and now I’m stuck in my head and I don’t know what to do with All this because I can’t go through with this right now, but I don’t want to tell Harry the reason why.

“I guess this is one way to get into the holiday spirit.” I blurt without thinking and Harry pauses before bursting out laughing against my neck. I let out a chuckle too as he looks up at me, smiling.

“God, your jokes are terrible.”

“I try my best.” I respond snarkily and he moves so he’s back next to me and pecks me lips, smiling. I try not to seem too relieved as his hand finds my cheek.

I don’t want my personal problems to put a strain on my relationship with him, I think, looking at those soft blue eyes of his. I want us to keep being like this. 

He’s amazing, and even now, I realize it as he lays next to me, not bothered by the fact I pretty obviously just stopped him after encouraging him, but he doesn’t seem to mind and I can’t help the way affection washes over me at that. 

Because He doesn’t have to be like this. He doesn’t have to be here and patient, but he is and I hate the way some part of my mind is trying to stop this.

But he’s looking at me now, with those damn blue eyes of his, like I matter and I hope that someday I can figure out why.

And maybe it’s the alcohol still flooding my head that makes me smile and kiss him softly, that makes my chest feels warm as I feel the familiar curve of his lips.

“Hey, Harry?” I murmur as I pull back and he raises an eyebrow.

“Yes Pete?” He asks fondly, voice dripping like honey and I grin stupidly.

“I really like you.” I tell him and he chuckles.

“How drunk are you?” He asks and I shake my head because. I’m tipsy, but I just feel happy right now as he looks down at me. His smile is warm and his blue eyes are shining and he’s here and I know he’s safe in my arms.

I love him, I think lazily. I love him, but I’m not sober enough to tell him yet.  _ Or drunk enough. _

“I’m not. Just happy.” I tell him and he laughs.

“I really like you too, Peter.” He tells me and leans down so we’re nose to nose. “It might be a little more than ‘like’, actually.” He says, face more focused with the proximity.

_ He doesn’t mean… _

I decide not to question what it means and what it might entail as I grin, one of my arms moving from his waist to find his hair.

“I think I’m okay with that.” I whisper and he laughs.

“You think?” He flirts and I breathe a laugh.

“I think so.” I tell him and his lips are on mine again and the kiss is all grinning and laughs because I love my blue-eyed boy and we’re okay right now. Even if tomorrow we aren’t, right now, we’re okay.

I want to shout it from the rooftops. Swing on my webs around New York and scream that I love Harry Osborn because I’m lucky enough to have this boy hold me in his arms. I pull away enough to see those fucking eyes I’m so damn infatuated with and his normally pretentiously done-up hair that’s a mess right now and bask in the fact that he’s mine. I must’ve done something right in my life to get something so great despite everything working against us and being so damn oblivious for so long.

I love him.

It’s a strange thought. He’s the first person I’ve ever loved romantically, but I feel like I’ve probably loved him all my life. I loved him growing up, when he was basically family. I loved him after our families fell apart and we still chose to be best friends. And now I love him like a lover does. I have loved him in every possible way, yet this is the most thrilling.

I know I’m going to regret it soon and second guess, but right now, all of that feels worth it. I will climb mountains and fight giants for him, just to make sure this boy stays safe.

“Yeah, I like you.” It feels like the understatement of the century as I say it, but he smiles nonetheless, as if it’s all he could want and more, and maybe that’s true. He did say he never thought I would return his feelings.

Imagine how wild it’d be if I told him I love him first.

But the sober part of my mind warns me against it. Things I don’t have the mind to think about right now tell me that I should wait until the time is right and though I agree, I wish now was the right time. Laying in the arms of my love, my family, during the holidays as my hand plays mindlessly through his hair and his thumb strokes my cheek and he smiles at me in a way that makes my whole body warm and freeze at the same time. It has my heart beating too fast and skipping beats. It has me struggling to breathe but not caring as I kiss him anyways.

I love him.

I’ll deal with the consequences of that later. Right now, though, I’m free just to be in love with him.


	32. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least this time I have most of the next chapter written. This is a cutie chapter, so enjoy!!

_**Harry's POV** _

 

I wake up to Peter kissing me.

The only reason it wakes me up so abruptly is because he jumps on me as he kisses me, making me wake up with a grunt. He laughs against my lips and I grin right back as I kiss him.

“Merry Christmas.” He murmurs against my lips and I chuckle.

“I have to say, I like my present.” I respond and he pulls away, sitting up in my lap.

“If I had known you were this easy to find a gift for, I wouldn’t have bothered with an actual present.” He tells me and I raise an eyebrow.

“Oh, I’m easy, am I?” I mock lightheartedly as he flushes and laughs.

“Shut up, you know what I meant.” He hushes me and my hands find his hips. “You still remember everything?” He asks and I roll my eyes.

“I’ve become too used to Aunt May’s holidays to let her death drink destroy me.” I respond and he flushes, resting his head on my chest.

“Okay. Cool.” He says and I suddenly realize what he’s talking about.

_ “It might be a little more than ‘like’, actually.” _

I implied I loved him because some drunk part of my mind thought it was a good idea. I look up at him and sigh as he pecks my lips again. 

It’s amazing, how much Peter has changed in the past week or so. It’s like everything that felt so forced is so natural. He’s not trying to be something he’s not and it’s nice. It’s honest.

It makes it harder for me  _ not _ to accidentally say it.

I kiss his forehead, smiling to myself. It’s Christmas. It’s not time to worry about that. I don’t plan on telling him I love him, but if it happens, I think I’d be okay with it.

Peter sits up in my lap and stretches his back, settling with a smile. He pats his hands on my chest in a lighthearted manner and speaks. 

“So, my Christmas present for you is an adventure, so we need to get dressed.” He tells me and my hands find their way to his waist.

“Do we have to move?” I complain half-heartedly and he just chuckles, getting off the bed.

“Don’t tell me that the jingle juice got the best of you.” He teases and I roll my eyes, moving to the edge of the bed. 

“I’m surprised you’re up and moving at all.” I respond, thinking back to last year when we ended up just laying on the couch, Aunt May included. That being said, Peter’s generally not a functioning person until he’s had coffee, so him being this awake is interesting. He rolls his eyes as he brushes his teeth from the open bathroom door, talking with a mouth full of foam.

“I can handle my jingle juice.” He retorts and spits in the sink, making me chuckle as I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his center and resting my head on his shoulder as he continues to brush his teeth.

“I know, babe.” I answer and I know he’s trying to hide a pleased smile as I peck his cheek, pulling away to get my own tooth brush. By the time I’m getting changed, he’s already going downstairs to make coffee, which is just typical.

I chuckle as I pull on my undershirt, pulling on some Christmas sweater Aunt May got Peter a few years ago. It’s big on him, but it fits me well enough, especially with my coat and gloves hanging downstairs. 

As I walk into the kitchen, Peter is shoving a cup into my hands with a smile.

“Chug this down and then we’re going.” He tells me and I go to swallow the coffee without thinking before I almost spit out what is  _ certainly _ not coffee.

“Are you getting me drunk before we do this?” I ask and he chuckles.

“I  _ may _ have told Aunt May I wanted to take you on a tipsy adventure and she  _ may _ have bought us a fifth, plus the leftover jungle juice.” He admits and I laugh, shaking my head.

“Who are you and what have you done with my innocent boyfriend?” I ask and follow his order to chug the cup that was handed to me, pretending that day-old jingle juice doesn’t make me want to die, because now I’m curious. The idea isn’t entirely strange, but it’s new and exciting as he goes to the coat rack by the door and pulls on a parka and a beanie, along with some gloves. He pockets a water bottle that I’m not too confident is water and hands one to me to put away before extending a gloved hand to me.

“Come on. We gotta explore.” He insists and I take his hand, jingle juice in my system and grin on my face as my boyfriend hails a taxi for us.

“So, do I get to know where we’re going?” I ask as the cab pulls up and he just leans in to peck my nose.

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ as we climb in. He hands the driver a slip of paper from his pocket and the driver just smiles with a thumbs up in response.

Peter lays his head on my shoulder and laces our hands together and I find myself confused until I realize that no one is on the roads and he driver is paying no mind to us. PDA isn’t PDA if no one is there to see it and part of me wonders if that was his plan all along. The same part of me decides that it’s kind of adorable. Our first public date is still mostly private and he’s rubbing circles into the fabric on my hand as if we do this every day.

The driver pulls up Joe’s after a bit of time and I chuckle at the fact the place is open I glance to Peter and he shrugs.

“Joe’s Jewish. He stays open for Christmas.” He informs me as he pays the driver. We go inside and head up to the counter of the empty cafe, and Joe chuckles as we walk up.

“Figures you two would still show up.” He jokes and I roll my eyes.

“We’re on a mission, and your breakfast sandwiches are the first step.” Peter relays to him with determination that only makes Joe laugh more.

“On it, Captain.” He jokes and Peter and I go to sit down, only after getting soda and adding some of Peter’s water bottle to it. I lean my elbows on the table and look over at him.

“Not even a hint?”

“Don’t make this hard, Harold.” He scolds with a barely covered smile and I snort.

“How am I supposed to prepare for this if I have no idea what I’m getting myself into?” I ask as Joe walks over and sets down our sandwiches. Peter winks at me and I find myself struggling not to choke on my soda as he answers with a confidence that I’ve never seen on his before.

“That’s half the fun.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I say, decently drunk at this point as Peter walks us up to the ice skating rink in Central Park. I turn to him as he chuckles.

“Merry Christmas. We’re going to make complete asses out of ourselves, but we’ll do it together.” He announces and takes both of my hands with a satisfied grin and I notice that the rink is completely empty and I wonder if he planned it that way.

We rent skates for a guy probably not much older than me on his cell phone, who only looks up to get out skate size. Peter doesn’t let me pay, even when I insist on it, and he grins as he hands me the skates.

“We haven’t done this since we were kids.” I remind him and he nods as he sits on a bench to take off his coat.

“Yeah, but sometimes new memories are better than old.” He answers in that way he always does, as if there’s a hidden meaning that I know he won’t explain, but I’m okay with it. He’s been better about expressing things lately, and it’s done wonders for us. The tension that was building before seems to have dissipated, which is good. 

I can’t help but worry about my father. Or I guess, what he has planned. It’s been quiet for awhile, both with him and Spider-Man. I’d like to think this whole thing is over, but for how long? How long can we keep being like this?

Peter pulls me out of my thoughts with a peck on the cheek, making me smile without thinking. I raise an eyebrow and he shrugs, pulling out his water bottle.

“You looked constipated, but with thoughts.” He tells me simply and takes a swing before handing it to me. I finish what’s left, instantly regretting it as I stand in my skates and nearly fall. Peter laughs and takes my hands, holding me up.

“We really are gonna make asses of ourselves.”

“Oh, totally.” He grins and I find myself surprised by this whole thing. Peter is normally the more reserved one of the two of us when it comes to taking risks, and something about that makes my heart pound as he slays while walking us to the ice, hand linked in mine.

And that’s how we go for a while, only breaking apart to see how far we can skate before needing to grab the wall. You’d think as a dancer that I’d be decent at this, but with the added slippery surface and god knows what exactly was in that bottle, I’m falling more than Peter is as he looks over at me with a stupid smirk.

“You know, you’re pretty bad at this.” He teases me and I pout, holding my arms out.

“Save me, my darling.” I moan overdramatically and he glides over to me, taking my hand and pulling me so he can wrap an arm around my waist.

“Consider yourself saved, my prince.” He answers lowly and I flush.

“Actually, only true loves kiss will break the spell.” I remind him and his blush matches my own at the implications. Luckily, he doesn’t mention it.

“So, your terrible skating is only because of a spell?” He accuses and my eyes pointedly avoid his.

“Oh, let’s go look at the Christmas tree.” I say, going to skate away from him, but he instead pulls me closer.

“You liar.” He scolds playfully and I pout, turning towards him.

“You still have a spell to break.” I say and he chuckles before wrapping his arms around me and kissing me in a way that has me sighing instantly. My hand moves to his cheek as he bites at my lip in a way I’d hardly consider innocent. It has me pulling away, just enough to talk.

“I thought you weren’t one for PDA.” I rasp against his lips and he snorts.

“Yes, because I’m sure the guy at the skate rental cares so much if I kiss you. You were being cute and I’m just trying to kiss you. Don’t be sassy.” He complains and I just stares at him before chuckling.

“You’re going to be the death of me, Peter Parker.” I confess and pull him back in to kiss him again, similar to the kiss he gave me and his hands move to my hair to pull me, making my knees buckle and…

“Shit!” I call and he falls on top on me, catching my head as we land with a thud, him laughing hysterically above me as he leans his forehead on mine. It’s beautiful, I think as I chuckle along.

“I can’t believe you make fun of my skating and pull us down.” I let out a laugh as I look up at him as he holds my head up from the ice to find his fond smile, soft and awe-filled and I find myself struggling not to swoon.

“You’re the one that fell.” He reminds me with no real venom and my hand finds his face and I find myself grinning at the small gasp he lets out as I lean up enough to look him in the eye.

“I guess you could say I just keep falling for you.” My voice is breathy as I say it, and I sound damn nervous to be saying it out loud, but it settles me in a way that surprises me.  _ Now he definitely knows what I meant last night. _

His eyes are wide before he settles as well, smiling in a way that could almost be described as lovingly if I didn’t want to get my hopes too far up.

But then he speaks, and I feel like my heart stops beating.

“I’m not too far behind.” He murmurs and I feel my eyes widen, surprised that he’d be so bold, but I decide that maybe Peter will just never stop surprising me. I decide that I like it that way.

He leans to kiss me when the alarm for the Zamboni turn on and he chuckles, moving off of me.

“Aunt May should be home soon if you wanna watch a movie. We’re watching ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’.” He tells me as we skate to the side and I smile as we step off the ice. I pull him close so my lips hover over his as I answer.

“It sure is.” I answer and he barks out a laugh.

“That wasn’t even a good pun.” He fights, but the battle is resigned as he kisses me and I think if I’ve learned anything today, it’s that there’s one more thing Peter Parker will never stop doing to me, and it’s amazing me.

 


End file.
